


Jojo's Negan x OFC oneshots

by Jojo_of_Faraway



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I love my fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Not Beta Read, Not from the ship, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Rating May Change, Tags May Change, mentions of abuse, sometimes AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jojo_of_Faraway/pseuds/Jojo_of_Faraway
Summary: This is just a bunch of TWD Negan x OC oneshots I compiled since starting to watch the series. It's mainly Negan meeting and interacting with my OC(s), which may or may not be the same person just with a different name.Some chapters/oneshots will be more angst heavy, some more fluff heavy. There are a few AU chapters. I will give content warnings for every chapter. No smut. For now...Probably updated every two weeks. I am currently editing all of them as I go.
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. It's quiet down here

**Author's Note:**

> CW: mention of suicide, mention of abuse, mention of death
> 
> No depiction of violence in this one, only referenced. 
> 
> I am not a native english speaker, so I apologize for any mistakes.

There was a constant buzz in my head, vibrating through my skull making it impossible to think. I just wanted the noise to stop, to be alone for once, nothing more, but there were always people around.

When the world had fallen to the dead, the first few years had been wonderfully quiet. It had been a blessing, apart from the sounds the dead made, but they were different. Like animals, not bothersome like humans. Dead were simple. They were slow and wanted to eat you. People were complicated. And all in Alexandria were just like that.

Today was particularly bad. I had been trying to hide as best as I could, bottle it all up, shove it down, keep shelving things, working with the animals, whatever they needed me for, but they always came to see me.

‘You talk so little.’

‘I am worried about you.’

‘Why don’t you come and eat with us?’

And they were all smiles and worried eyes. I was polite but their cheeriness only pushed me further away. I wanted to scream at them but I never would. I always vanished. I didn’t dare to speak out for myself.

It was getting harder to vanish. I had worked all day. Listened to their senseless babbling, rumbling in my brain. Bees buzzing, needles pricking my skin. My face ached from keeping an attentive look, smiling. Seeming as if I was there and happy to be there. I felt sick. I hadn’t eaten much for… I didn’t know for how long. I wasn’t hungry anymore, I just wanted it all to be quiet. The people. The generators rumbling. The laughter. The cars. I almost wished myself back in the forest only surrounded by animals and the dead. Alone.

“Hey June!”, Dan called out to me.

We had finished loading up the truck and I had wanted to slip behind a house, before anybody could invite me over to another barbeque. How I hated barbeques. The fake laughter, though it was more real since the world ended, the scent of burned meat, smoke stinging in my eyes, fire crackling. My stomach hardened, spikes going outwards into my other organs, putting me on edge, pricking holes into my shell making the little bit of energy that I had left drain out through them.

Forcing a smile on my face, that felt even emptier than the last ones, I turned around to the tall, dirty blonde-haired man. He was nice and he deserved better than to be bothered with worrying about me, but I was so completely done with everybody coddling me that I couldn’t even feel bad for him anymore.

“Mitch, Heather and a few others are having a game night tonight, playing some of the board games we scavenged. How about you join us?”, he said with a hopeful look in his eyes, but also worried. Always worried, ever since they witnessed one of my meltdowns, they thought me crazy.

Anger spilled up inside me at the barely guarded worry in his eyes. They thought I was crazy, they thought I would break, harm myself. Why did they even bother with me? Wouldn’t it be better to simply leave me alone and if I killed myself, they would have one less mouth to feed?

“June?”, Dan asked, as if I was a wild animal, that he didn’t want to startle.

“No, I don’t want to go to game night with you”, I snapped, “it’s not like you want to have me there anyway.”

Dan’s eyes widened, “what? Of course, we want you there!”

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Michonne stop. She was the worst of them all really. Coddling me and making sure that I wasn’t whatever they thought I was seemed to be her only hobby.

“Stop lying!”, I hissed, my hands clenched into fists, “all of you look at me as if I might explode at any minute, worse than a walker really. Why don’t you just do all of us a favour and leave me the fuck alone?!”

Michonne stepped in, just like I had expected she would, “we care for our own, June.”

I whirled around to face the tall, dark skinned woman and snap at her as well, but as usual when facing one of the leaders words failed me. I shook my head as I felt my emotions spin more and more out of control. Tears gathered in my eyes, threatening to spill over but I didn’t want to cry in front of her. In front of any of them, because this would be more than crying. I felt it in the way my body tensed, my emotions boiled, my ears rang, clogging down everything inside me. My control strained, ready to lash out, burst out of me in fury and heat.

Michonne reached out to touch me, I wasn’t sure what she wanted to do but I stepped back, nearly stumbled, but regained my balance. I needed to get out of here. Away from the buzz, the light, the smells. I needed to be somewhere else. Alone.

I turned and ran. Their shouting bounced around in my head, joining the rest of the useless mess of noise and flashes of light in there. A few people tried to stop me but I was faster than all of them. My speed had kept me alive before joining them and it kept me alive now.

Dodging around buildings, leaping over small fences, I found myself easily shaking my pursuers and in front of a building that I had never come close to before. It was close to the council building.

Daryl saw me at that moment. “June wait!”

Blinded by fear and the roaring in my head I shot into the building and hurried through the first door I found. It was thick and stairs fell down steeply beneath it. I shut it behind me and locked the bolt, for good measure I put a broom through the doorknob as well. It was more European looking. It would keep them out if the latch in front of the door did not.

Daryl pounded against the door and I flinched away, hurrying down the steps into the darkness. The promise of solitude. “June let me in! You don’t know what you are doing!”

The door had to hold. I could not be with them or I would start screaming and never stop. I hadn’t screamed wordlessly since I was very small. I couldn’t scream just for the sake of screaming. The sound choking me rather than anything happening.

I sped past bleak stone walls and came into a barely lit basement. Perfect. There was a cell to my left. I ignored it and curled up in the far corner. Drawing my knees to my chest, my head tucked between my knees. I started rocking without realising that I had done so. My breath came ragged. There was no sound from above. Either Daryl had stopped trying to force his way in or the sound didn’t carry down here. From the complete lack of noise down here, not even the soft whirring of a light bulb I guessed that the noise didn’t carry.

Tears trailed down my face as my fists slapped against my temples. It hurt but not enough to leave a trace on my face, just enough.

Hard sobs racked my body as I continued to slap my fists against my temple. The pain helped me think through it all. I whimpered as another wave of emotions crashed over me.

“Damn girl, you sound properly messed up”, a deep and baritone voice suddenly said and scared me more than the rise of the dead had.

I stopped breathing and stared into the cell. My eyes had adapted to the darkness long ago and I saw the shape of a man, crouching at the bars to be on eyelevel with me, but I knew he was tall, with strong shoulders. He was wearing only a grey shirt and grey pants, nothing else, yet I knew that he was dangerous.

“Don’t drop on me now, doll”, he said.

I drew in a sharp breath. My body had become still, staring at him much like a deer in the headlights and yet there was no way he could reach me. Though a small part of me just wanted to be hold. Quiet, I stared at him, with tears still running down my cheeks.

His eyes were dark, I couldn’t tell their colour in the dim light but he seemed rather happy to have me here. How long had he been here all alone? He didn’t smell to bad so not too long and he didn’t look starved, thin, but muscled enough to show you that had had enough food to work out in the cell and build up muscle. He had black and grey mixed hair; his beard was all grey but not nearly as long as I had expected of a man in captivity. They must shave it for him.

“Like what you see?”, he smirked, the grin horribly cocky as if he wasn’t locked up in a cell, “how long do you think we’ll have until they break in the door up there?”

I stared down the hallway and to the staircase at the end. I didn’t want them to come down here. The mere thought alone made curl once more into myself, drawing my knees close again, rocking soothingly back and forth.

The man frowned slightly, “what did they do to you?”

My fists returned to the side of my head, but no words came. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I wanted silence or did I want him to speak? His voice was rough, rasping over my skin like the others hadn’t. Different.

“Have you lost your tongue?”

I looked back at him then, tears blurring my view and I rubbed them away, almost angrily, leaving stains on my face. My knuckles were bruised. Had I hit the wall as well? I couldn’t quite remember, that happened sometimes. “Who are you?”, I didn’t bother hiding, though my rocking grew less. He had seen the worst of me and he wasn’t flinching away. Wasn’t calling me a freak.

He laughed at that, “Oh so you can speak! And you don’t even know who I fucking am? Have these people thrown me in a hole and don’t even tell people who the fuck I am anymore? Are you new?”

I blinked at him like an owl. My brain failing to come up with a quick answer.

“I am Negan. Heard that name before?”

I tilted my head, trying to remember, “yes. They fought you.”

He smirked. It was filled with a lot of confidence and mirth for a man behind bars. “So, they do tell stories about me. Wonderful. Are you going to answer one of my questions now?”

I nodded, because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to tell him to shut up. Who knew how many people came down here? I bet he had no one to talk to, not to mention that I for sure didn’t want to go back up. If Negan decided to simply speak and I could close my eyes to listen. Hm, that sounded nice. Not to mention that it was bloody hard to tell people to shut up.

“What did they fucking do to you? Did they hurt you?”, he asked, he almost sounded worried, though the look in his eyes burned brighter, fiercer.

“Two questions”, I murmured. My brain ran on basic functions.

He flashed a toothy, white grin, “sorry, dear.”

He didn’t look sorry. Not in the slightest.

“They didn’t hurt me.”

“What the fuck happened then?”

“Why do you care?”, I asked, empty voice filling with emotion. The numbness that was there after a meltdown slowly left to reveal and even bigger storm of emotions. This was far from over and it scared me a little.

Negan shrugged, “I have been stuck down here for way too fucking long. You are the first one that has talked to me in I don’t know how long and I am curious.”

“I had a meltdown”, I mumbled, not looking at him, my eyes staring into the darkness, unfocused.

“Yeah, I saw that.”

My attention snapped back to him, “you knew it was a meltdown? Most people just think I am crazy. Messed up. Need pills.” Bitterness dripped from the words.

Negan scoffed, “we are all fucking crazy and everybody that fucking thinks any fucking different is just fucking stupid.”

That was surprisingly insightful of him. Apparently, there was something behind all that bravado and swear words.

When I didn’t say anything, he continued. Filled the silence, but it didn’t bother me, it wasn’t buzzing, like with the others. His voice was nice. He talked to me for a reason, he wanted to talk because he was lonely. No one out there was lonely. “I had a cousin before, you know. She was autistic. She had meltdowns. It always helped when you hugged her.” He opened his arms, behind the bars and wiggled his fingers.

“There are iron bars between the two of us.”

Negan waggled his eyebrows, “you could let me out.”

“I am not stupid. You’d bash my head in or take me as a hostage to get out”, I vaguely noticed that I had stopped rocking completely, though my hands were fiddling with the zipper of my hoodie now.

Negan put a hand over his heart in fake hurt, “your low opinion of me hurts me, little flower. Whatever shall I do?”

I raised an eyebrow my lips twitching, “little flower?”

He lifted one shoulder, “you seem somewhat delicate.”

A heavy sigh escaped my then and my muscles relaxed a little. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the cold stone behind me, the feeling so different after the heat above. No noise. Just mine and Negan’s breathing.

“What drove you down here then?”, Negan asked when the silence stretched, filling my head, calming my thoughts for the first time in forever really.

“It’s quiet down here.”

“Oh boy, I should probably stop my endless babbling then”, Negan said with the drawl that I already associated with him. He had a very interesting way of speaking, with lilts all over.

“You have a nice voice.” I wrapped my arms around myself, resisting the urge to let him hug me. The urge to be hugged almost stronger than common sense and a few more tears escaped me. I just let them roll.

Negan chuckled, it sounded very manly and deep in his chest, “well, nice of you to say that, little flower. I think so too but no one fucking else around here seems to appreciate me quite as much.”

“I am pretty sure they have good reasons for that.”

“The way they put it sure, but they fucking attacked my men first”, Negan said with a hint of real anger in his voice, “and then they got up all irritated about it. They killed at least fucking thirty of my men while I killed about four of theirs or so.”

I looked at him then. My eyes wandered over his still crouching form, trying to guess whether he was telling the truth or not. “History is always written by the victors.”

He smirked, but it was more a baring of teeth, no joy in it, “exactly.”

“I’m sorry.”

His brows knitted in confusion, “for what?”

“That you are being kept down here. You’d have rather died.” My voice was soft in the gloom. 

His shoulders sagged, air leaving his body, as if I had hit him in the stomach, “yeah, I would have rather died.”

“Sometimes I wish I was dead”, I stared into the darkness again, wishing it would swallow me up whole.

“Why do you say that?”, Negan snapped. His anger surprised me. “You still have your whole fucking life before you.”

“I just want it to be quiet. I want for people to stop looking at me as if I was wrong and might break. I just want to stop”, my fists dug into my hair, pulling.

“Hey”, Negan reached out for me for the first time. He couldn’t touch me, his fingers coming roughly 7 inches short, showing just how small the space was, “it’s okay.”

I stared at his hand, wondering if I wanted to touch it or not. It looked clean, but he could pull me over.

A loud thud above made me freeze.

“I don’t want them to come down here”, I whispered, barely audible. I started rocking again.

“I wish I could stop them”, Negan said and he sounded like he meant it. Reading people was hard, but when you studied them long enough you knew and I felt like he meant it, it was the same instinct that always told me when walkers were nearby.

Another loud thud from the door sounded.

“Come on now, little flower. Shit I don’t even know your name. Head up”, Negan said and I met his gaze. His was unwavering, so strong despite being stuck in here for god knows how long. “You can do this.”

“I can do this”, I whispered and fought myself to my feet, fist pressing against my stomach.

Negan rose with me, showing just how bloody tall he was. That cocky smile came back on his face, “there we are. This is not the end of the world.”

Another thud. I pressed myself against the wall, inching closer to Negan, despite the fact that I should know better.

“That already happened and you can always come and hide down here again.”

“They will never let me come down here again”, I said, eyes fixed on the staircase as I heard wood splinter.

“Oh no they won’t”, Negan’s fingers brushed against my hand and I turned my attention to him, “but they can only bar the door if they want me to starve and they could have done that a long fucking time ago. You seem like a smart girl. I am sure you know how to pick locks.”

Everybody in the new world knew how to pick locks. You either picked locks or you starved. Steps on the stairs and Daryl and Michonne burst into the small space, both armed to the teeth.

Negan’s fingers twitched as if he almost curled them around my hand but he pulled back instead when Michonne pointed a weapon at him, “always ruining my fun, Michonne. This little doll and I were just about to have fun.”

“Get away from there, June”, Michonne said, but didn’t come closer.

I stiffened, thinking about moving closer to Negan. I had known him for maybe an hour and liked him more than anybody I had met in Alexandria so far. Go figure.

“He is dangerous, June.”

Negan smirked, clearly enjoying the whole show. This was probably more action than he had gotten in ages.

“And yet you are pointing the guns”, I crossed my arms to keep them from fidgeting, the urge to stim returning with my anxiety of being in the proximity of these people.

Negan laughed, “she got you there, Michonne.”

Michonne scowled at Negan, “shut up.” But she lowered her gun, “come on, June. This is no place for you.”

Another look at Negan who nodded ever so slightly. I could do this. I took a deep breath and moved away from the cell.

I sat on the edge of a roof and listened to the bustling of Alexandria. After being alone in a quiet forest for so long, being with humans now was much harder than it had been before the world ended. Back then I had been constantly surrounded by noise, but once you knew how a world without cars, planes and a great deal of people sounded, you wanted to go back to that. Never wanted anything to change. Alexandria messed with my routines and that messed with my balance.

The sun was shining down on my back, painting everything scarlet. Most people were gathering on the square to have a big get together of all the people in Alexandria. Well, almost all. Lockpicks clinked in one of the pockets of my cargo pants. Acquiring them had been ridiculously easy and it had been even easier to figure out the schedule of Negan’s cell. Gabriel cared for him on most days and he did not seem to enjoy it very much. They would not come back to him until the morning hours, which meant I could slip in there and be alone, or almost alone.

The meltdown and discovering Negan had done nothing to reduce my tension with the other inhabitants of Alexandria. Michonne had lectured me for far too long on all the things Negan had done wrong. I had listened to her, but I didn’t care. She wouldn’t leave me alone so I would make sure that I got space for myself now. A quiet and safe space.

I stood up and slipped down the gutter at the side of the house, walking confidently over the lawn and into the house in which Negan’s cell was. Always look as if you belong where you are going, people will be a lot less suspicious that way. Unlocking the door to the basement was not as easy as I had hoped. My lockpicking skills had gone rusty and every moment I stood in front of the door I feared for someone to discover me, even though almost everybody was at the bonfire party.

Finally, the lock clicked and I swiftly moved inside. I fumbled with the lockpicks to lock the door again, just in case someone did check on Negan in the night and then walked down the stairs. It was pitch black down here, no light seeping in through the tiny barred window at the top since it was dark outside already.

“Well, well, well”, Negan’s voice came from the blackness. A moment later I had lit up a small candle and hid it so that it couldn’t be seen from the window, “if it isn’t Alexandria’s troublemaker.”

I smiled involuntarily upon seeing him. He strode towards the bars as much as the tiny space of his cell allowed and put his arms through the bars, leaning against them, “I can’t believe you came back.”

I sat down in the same spot like last time, but facing him. This way he would be able to grab my ankles and pull me towards him, but I wasn’t particularly worried about that. Not only could I kick him in the face, if he did, but I didn’t think he wanted to kill me. I was the only one that talked to him after all. “Why did you think I wouldn’t?”

Negan looked down at me, with me sitting and him standing he looked like a giant. “I thought you’d have found a different basement to hide in.”

“None of them are as nice as yours”, I said my lips curling up slightly.

Negan laughed. Deep and hearty. It worked perfectly with his baritone voice. “Oh, I bet they fucking aren’t.” He sat down close to the bars, “how are you doing?”

I sighed and rubbed my face.

“That bad, huh?”

“I don’t know what I am even doing here.”

“Hiding from the noise? Enjoying my wonderful company?”, Negan supplied, voice light.

“Not here as in the basement”, I dropped my hand, “I mean in Alexandria. I got by just fine on my own. It was a little stressful, yes. I had no one to watch my back but I had also no one that annoyed me until my brain melted.”

“And when you had meltdowns?”, Negan asked, surprisingly serious.

“I just sucked it up. They were a lot less frequent. I had to survive every day and knew I had to stay quiet”, I shrugged, looking at him feeling empty and sad all at once.

“Why don’t you leave then?”, Negan asked, “I mean it would suck, since I am just getting to know you and you are my only company, but why stay in a fucking place that you don’t like?”

“A friend brought me here.” My fingers rubbed against the cold stone wall, feeling the rough and bumpy texture.

“And what happened to that friend?”

“He died”, I looked away as the familiar pain seared my heart, “like everybody seems to do these days.”

“Well, I am for sure not going anywhere.”

I smirked at the tone of his voice and he smirked back, “you want to and can’t and I can and want to but still don’t. I am a fucking wuss.”

“Possibly”, Negan agreed.

“Gee, how encouraging.”

Negan chuckled, “sorry, dear. Encouragement is all out at the moment, I’ll let you know when I have it available again.”

I rolled my eyes at his smart-ass comment and smiled again, staring up at the ceiling, before I laid down on the cold stone floor, not wanting to sit up anymore.

“I have a cot in here”, Negan offered.

“Still not letting you out”, I said, hands under my head.

“Damn, well it was worth a try”, he grinned down at me, “do you plan on sleeping there?”

“I don’t know. I don’t sleep much at the moment”, I sighed, even to my own ears it sounded old and weary, “I thought it would get better in a safe place and I even have a mattress. It did not get better. I slept better curled up in a tree surrounded by walkers than here. Humans are much worse than walkers.”

Negan huffed, “if that ain’t the truth I don’t know what is. Walkers just want to fucking eat you. Humans do a fucking shit ton of other fuckity, fucking messed up stuff.”

“Like bash people’s heads in with a baseball bat”, I commented and caught him freeze for just a second then his cocky smile was back.

“Michonne told you about me?”

“A lot. I think she wanted to scare me.”

Negan leaned forward until his face was almost pressed against the bars, “and are you scared?”

“No”, I met his gaze, still unsure about the colour of his eyes, I was just pretty sure that they weren’t blue.

Negan grinned as if he was proud of me, “see, you are much braver than you think. Anybody that survives out there alone for any amount of time has to be brave.”

“Hmh, or just opportunistic enough.”

“You are really cheery tonight.”

I closed my eyes again just listening to him talk, “are you always so glum?”

“No, before I wasn’t like this.”

“Yeah, we were all different before.”

“Even you?”

Negan laughed, “no I was always pretty much an ass.”

I smiled involuntarily. He was so much at ease with himself, I wished I had that kind of confidence. “I want to leave Alexandria and yet I am afraid what would happen if they threw me out. It’s ridiculous.”

“No, it’s understandable”, Negan said, I heard fabric rustle but couldn’t be bothered to open my eyes and look what he was doing, “you know that you are safe here, which is why you freak out so much more. Your body is starting to relax, even though it doesn’t feel like it, you are adapting again and when you are through this it will be better.”

“Damn, Negan the therapist, who would have thought?”

Negan whistled through his teeth, “my little flower has thorns. How about a rose then?”

That made me look at him, “why a flower at all?”

Negan pulled a flower out of his pocket, “you dropped that when you came rushing in here a few days ago.”

“Oh, well, I am June.”

“I gathered as much. It’s a nice name, but I think I’ll stick with Rose”, he smirked.

I shrugged, “nicer than what I have been called in the past.”

“Did you fight back?”

“Sometimes”, I let my eyes wander over his face, with its rugged handsomeness.

“And other times?”

“Other times I was beaten up.”

“Not anymore though.”

I grinned fiercely, “no, not anymore.”

Silence fell over us and I closed my eyes again, listening to the softness of his breathing. I flinched in surprise when I felt him playing with my hair, softly tugging at it. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”, Negan answered.

I opened my eyes to find him stretched out on his side of the bars parallel to me, mimicking my body almost exactly, playing with my hair that fanned out around me.

“Did you undo my braid?”, I asked and got up, but his hand curled in my hair, keeping me from moving too far.

Our gazes locked. His fist curled around most of my hair, me half risen. I should have been afraid, but I wasn’t.

“You have nice hair”, Negan said, eyes calm, waiting for a reaction.

I shook my head slightly and laid back down, “can I have my hair tie back?”

Something landed on my chest and I put it around my wrist, without looking at it. I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of Negan playing with my hair. It was very long and auburn, though down here it probably looked brown. I had considered cutting it many times but could never get myself to do it.

A happy sighed escaped me when silence enveloped us long enough for my mind to calm down.

“Rose”, a hand lightly tapped against my shoulder, “wake up little rose.”

Blinking I opened my eyes and was met with a cold stone ceiling, my back was aching, my hands cold. The heck? I sat up rather abruptly and was met with the sight of a cell to my left and Negan behind the bars. Early morning light fell in through the tiny window on the right.

“Shit”, I cursed and ran a hand through my hair. My hand got hung up in more tangles than I liked.

Negan smiled at me, cocky as ever, “well hello there, sleeping beauty.”

I could not remember the last time I had slept this deeply and for this long. I scrambled to my feet, “I should go.”

“Don’t forget the candle”, Negan advised, “and you still have about half an hour. Gabriel is never early and last night was a bonfire night, right?”

I nodded, relaxing at his words, “thanks for waking me.”

Negan grinned. How he could always be so bloody cheerful was beyond me. “No problem, if you get caught, the chance is high that I am not going to have such a nice conversation partner again.”

“I fell asleep”, I said while picking up the candle and making sure that there was no wax left behind.

“You look very cute when you sleep”, Negan said, “though I still think you’d look cuter in here.” He patted his cot. It looked hella uncomfortable.

“I’d rather sleep on the stone floor, thanks.”

Negan chuckled, “it’s not as bad as it looks.”

I raised an eyebrow, “if you say so.” I took a few steps towards the stairs, not quite sure what to say, “see you soon?”

Negan’s grin widened, showing dimples that I had missed in the low light before. “Well, I certainly hope so. It is fucking boring down here.”

“Want me to bring you something?”

Negan blinked, “what?”

Heat shot into my cheeks and I fidgeted on my feet, “I don’t know like a book or something?”

“Sure, anything to keep me occupied.”

I shot him a tentative smile and he shot his cocky smile back at me. Those dimples were really cute. The dimpled smile stayed in my mind even after I had left the cell far behind me.

Rain pattered hard onto the pavement outside. My grey shirt was dappled with it. Tears streamed down my face and stung on the scratches on my cheek as I fumbled with the key. Forging it had been difficult, because I had never done such a thing before, but I couldn’t pick the lock to Negan’s basement forever.

I stifled a sob as I finally managed to unlock the door and hurried down the stairs. Shivering all over. My body hurt more than it had in a long time as if it was suddenly remembering old bruises from before. Fists pounding down on my body.

Negan’s familiar grin slipped when he saw me and anger sparked in his eyes. They looked brown from afar but if you got close enough, they were on the greener side. “Shit, what the fuck happened to you?”

Without a word I retreated to my corner and sob wracked my body as I curled up into myself.

“June”, Negan said. I wasn’t sure for how long he had been trying to speak to me, “June, it’s okay. I am here, please talk to me. Come here.” He was leaning against the bars, crouched down, arms stretched towards me.

Teary eyed, vision blurry I stared at him. I felt so lost.

“Please”, he said softly, anger and something else battled on his face.

I moved towards him and he wrapped me in his arms as best as he could but the bars were in the way. Fear made it hard to breathe. The panic attack still had me in its grasp. Hastily I grabbed another key that I had forged and wriggled out of Negan’s half embrace.

“What are you-”, Negan stopped mid-sentence when the door of the cell swung open. He blinked for a moment and I stood opposite him, defying, daring him to just leave and barge past me. I wouldn’t even blame him.

But instead, against all the odds he drew me into his arms and sat down on the cot. I curled up into a tight ball, my hands clenched around his shirt and his grip on me hardened ever so slightly. Fear and just a whole bunch of desperate emotions rampaged through my body and soul. Tearing my heart apart.

Negan murmured soothing words, just hearing his voice made everything better and he did not stop talking. He held me as if there was nothing else that mattered.

I took a shivering breath, my muscles relaxing. Most of the emotions had passed. The front of his shirt was stained with tears.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked quietly.

I snuggled deeper into his embrace, if that was even possible and he chuckled slightly, “you should have come to me earlier.”

“I realise that now too”, I murmured and then sighed heavily, “we had a new guy. He tricked us.”

“He hurt you?”, Negan stiffened. The strength in his arms should have scared me but it didn’t.

I nodded, breathing in his familiar scent. There was an undertone of sweat and dirt but since they let him shower, he smelled nice enough. Mostly of wood, like the great forest back home. Home, I didn’t even know what that felt like anymore.

“Is he dead?”, Negan growled.

“Yes”, I said, “I bashed his brains in.”

“Good”, he said full of satisfaction.

“But I panicked.”

“That’s okay”, he soothed, leaning back now that I relaxed some more, stretching himself, so that I laid more on his upper body than being curled up against it. It allowed me to look up in his face, it was so much softer than I had ever seen before.

I shook my head. He didn’t understand. “It happened before.”

The anger was back, “in Alexandria?”

“No, before.”

“In the old world?”

I nodded.

Negan drew in a breath, “fuck. Well, whoever hurt you back then is probably dead.”

“But he still haunts me”, I leaned back against his chest, hiding my face.

“There are many things that haunt me too. It only matters that we keep going and never succumb to our fear”, he said quietly.

I smiled softly. That was a nice idea. My eyes fluttered shut out of exhaustion, my head resting on his chest. His heart beat steadily in my ear. For the first time I felt completely relaxed.

Hurried steps on the stairs destroyed the illusion and Negan’s grip on me tightened. I opened my eyes and looked towards the outside. Michonne, rifle in hand and Daryl came into view. Both froze when they saw me in Negan’s arms. For a moment no one said anything. Both of the Alexandrians clearly to shocked to say anything.

“Well, if you are not going to say anything you can just fuck right off where you came from and leave us alone”, Negan said. He always knew what to say.

To underline is statement I snuggled back against him. Michonne’s face fell.

“You leave her the fuck alone”, Daryl said.

“She looks rather comfortable right where she is”, Negan smirked and moved slightly, “I know how to please women.”

Daryl pointed his gun at Negan’s head, “let her go.”

I sat up straight, blocking Daryl’s line of fire. “Leave him alone, Daryl.”

“You don’t know what he is like, June”, Daryl said but dropped his gun, uncomfortable pointing it at me.

“Possibly not, but I know that he helped me through more than one meltdown”, I said.

“You have a key?”, Michonne asked.

Heat creeped into my cheeks, “I forged it.”

“How long has this been going on?”

My face felt about as hot as an oven now, “a month.”

Michonne shook her head and rubbed her face, struggling to say something. Daryl looked equally lost. “We need to talk about this, June.”

I leaned back against Negan, “not now.”

Michonne looked at me as if I was crazy and I was, I was sure about it now, but it didn’t matter. I felt whole in Negan’s arms.

“Fine”, Michonne said, turned around and walked out, Daryl trailed after her, “Daryl will guard the door.”

“Well, that is unexpected”, Negan said looking after the two.

“Yeah, I didn’t think they would listen. Maybe the tears convinced them.”

“Or the fact that you want to be here and they didn’t want to tear you out of my arms?”

“They couldn’t have”, I scowled.

Negan smirked, “damn right you are.” He readjusted his grip on me, “do you think they’ll try and keep you away now?”

“I don’t know”, I said honestly, “if they do, I’ll break you out.”

Negan frowned, “why?”

I shrugged, “I am tired of sneaking around and maybe they’ll lock me up and I’ll have finally some time for myself.”

Negan snorted, “sounds like a stupid plan. If you break me out, why not come with me?”

I hesitated and looked at him, “I didn’t think you’d want me to come with you.”

A frown appeared on his face, “why the hell would you think that?”

“Because”, I motioned vaguely, “I don’t know. I just assumed.”

“Well, don’t do that shit. I might have only wanted to keep you around in the beginning because you were the only person that talked to me, but you are more than that now. You are actually decent company”, Negan’s trademark grin returned, “and that is hard to come by these days.”

I smiled back at him, “fine I’ll come back with you.”

“Good”, Negan leaned forward and kissed me, stealing my breath away and my heart skipped a beat, “because I really don’t want to fuck you in this cell.”

“So, the cot is as uncomfortable as I said it is?”, I said over the mad dashing of my heart and the sudden influx of butterflies in my stomach.

“Hell yes.”


	2. Don't touch my horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little blood, a hint of gore but nothing to bad. 
> 
> Also, horses. You will find that my own horse obsession will filter through not so subtly into my oneshots.

Gunshots echoed around loudly through the dark forest and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the noise. After all this time you’d think people knew better. Guns drew walkers like nothing else. That was the exact reason why I used no guns. Sure, I was good with them but the noise wasn’t worth it. The world was deadly enough as it was, no need to lure walkers to my position…or humans.

Walkers and humans alike were drawn by gunshots and both were equally dangerous. To find a group of humans that hadn’t some weird batshit quirk was rare as fuck or none existent really, if you asked me. I had not encountered one ‘normal’ group since all of this shit started and I had been around a lot. More than most people probably, considering that I had a horse at my side. Every group I had encountered so far had some flaw, even if it showed up later, that I really couldn’t live with. Like sacrificing a human every full moon or eating walkers every summer solstice. Not on my watch. It was better to be alone, or in my case with my blue roan stallion Voron and two Pitbulls Hugin and Munin.

Voron’s head shot up at the sound of the gunshots. His muscles tensed beneath me. He was ready to go the other way, while the dogs were the opposite, they wanted a fight, wanted to tear flesh apart. They had been like this since I first found them, half-starved only eating walkers that came close to them. Gaining their trust had been hard, but I had always been good with animals.

I patted Voron’s neck to calm him down. Everything told me to go the other way. The noise would lure walkers, not to mention the idiots that were shooting would still be around but shooting idiots meant supplies. While I didn’t need food, the forest provided everything I needed, I had a gash on my arm I wanted to disinfect. Cursing in my head, I urged the stallion towards the noise of the gunshots. He obeyed immediately. He and I had been together before the world ended. Voron had been a gift from my father, the only gift ever really, but a gift nonetheless.

A few more gunshots thundered and I dared to canter towards the fight. Voron knew his way around the dark trees and thick undergrowth and with the noise of the gunfight, they would never hear us coming. The dogs were nothing but dark shadows beside us. The white patches on their pelts blurring with speed and into the dying light. It was much darker under the trees than outside of them. 

I slowed Voron before we reached the edge of the forest and peered through the branches. The sound of the gunshots had stopped and I could already hear the walkers shuffling closer. The faint smell of smoke hung in the cool night air.

“Fuck”, a deep voice said and a man stumbled into view behind a truck that had been turned into a sieve.

The man was tall and lean, but his shoulders were strong and muscled, running down to a slim waist. He wore a black, leather jacket with a red scarf around his neck. The white shirt under the leather jacket was splattered with blood as was his face. He had a stubbly, grey and black beard with black hair, that looked like it was supposed to be slick against his head but was now falling in front of a rough but handsome face. A strong jawline and brown eyes completed the look. In his right hand he held a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire. Dangerous. Everything about this man screamed danger, down to the belt with weapons, leather boots and the way he held himself.

Blood was running down the jacket, revealing a wound on his stomach. He’d die of that. Bleed out. You knew things like that if you saw enough people die.

He stumbled, one hand steadied him against the truck and he spoke into a walkie talkie, “Simon, you there? The truck is swiss cheese. Fuck!”

Voron shifted under me, making no noise but distracted me enough. I had to make a decision. I should leave him. This guy looked to be more than the average thug you met these days. He was well dressed, his barbwire bat was well taken care of and he had a radio. He was in contact with some people. He had a group, which meant some crazy shit was going on but did that really mean that I could let him die?

I sighed to myself and rode out of the trees. My mother had told me many times that my big heart would be the end of me and I guess she was right. I bet she had never expected zombies and the apocalypse to be the end though. I was glad that she never had to see it.

The man froze as Voron and I left the trees, flanked by Hugin and Munin. He leaned back, the bat in one hand, the radio in the other and I couldn’t quite tell if he was about to keel over or if he just had horrible posture. “Well fuck me, if that isn’t one heck of an entrance.” He narrowed his eyes, swaying more. Yeah, he looked like he was about to keel over. “Are you real?”

For a moment I didn’t answer. I could only stare. I had not spoken in god knows how long that words escaped me. I finally managed a rough, “I am.”

The bushes rustled and a walker scuffled out. Hugin shot forward, tearing his face off before I could even give the order. He was always the rasher of the two, but I let him.

“Damn”, the man said and I slipped of Voron to steady him as he swayed even more. A light grunt escaped me as his weight rested on me.

“Fuck you are heavy.”

He chortled, despite the pain and blood loss he must be feeling, “well fucking excuse me princess, I am a big man.”

“You need to get on the horse. There will be a lot of walkers here in a minute.” My voice still sounded too rough, despite the words coming back to me.

“You always sound that sexy when you talk?”, he asked as we approached Voron who pinned his ears. He didn’t like anybody but me on his back, though he’d tolerate them as long as I was around.

“No”, I looked at my horse, “behave yourself.” I turned back to the man, “can you get up there?”

He grunted and actually managed to pull himself into the saddle, with some help.

“Don’t try to ride off”, I pointed my finger at him, trying to ignore Hugin tearing away at the walker, “he’ll buck you off quicker than you can say ‘Quidditch’. Now do you happen to have a first aid kit in the truck?”

“Quidditch?”, the man echoed, swaying in the saddle, holding tightly on to the horn.

“First aid kit?”, I asked, not bothering to explain the Harry Potter reference to him.

“Yes”, he waved vaguely around with his hand, his face loosing colour quick. I had to hurry.

Without another word I pelted over to the truck, got the first aid kit from the trunk and was back with the man in a moment. He held himself valiantly despite the blood loss. The baseball bat rested at his side, trying to keep it away from Voron.

I leapt up behind him and whistled for the dogs. Both of them hurried after the horse as I cantered back into the forest, my arms wrapped around the man to hold the reins, while he tried to not fall of the horse. Since he was so damned tall, I had to awkwardly peek around his shoulders. Good thing that I knew this forest inside and out.

We passed a bunch of walkers, but left them far behind us, easily losing them in the forest.

“I don’t mean to destroy your little saviour fantasy, princess”, the man said, his voice sounded strained, despite the cocky words, “but I am fucking bleeding out here.”

“We are almost there.”

The forest got thicker. For the untrained eye it looked natural. All thickets were where they were supposed to be, but a tracker and a hunter would spot the barrier of thorns I had made, with traps and pitfalls, hidden spikes and what nots. Well, with all the light now gone, no normal person would see anything, but I had excellent night vision and Voron knew the way.

We crossed a small stream and reached my camp in the middle of it. The stream split around a small island, acting as another barrier between me and the world. I slipped of my horse and caught the man, slipping after me with a lot less grace. The saddle and his shirt were full of blood now. Great. That would be a pain in the ass to clean.

I stumbled under his weight, “who fed you?”

The man mumbled a reply, that I didn’t quite catch and I put him down to lean against a tree while I got the first aid kit and a torch. Scavenging batteries for that shit was hard, but so far, I had managed. I didn’t want to risk lighting a fire in most nights. I had grown accustomed to the cold.

Grabbing the scissors, I moved to cut off his shirt and maybe jacket.

“Hey, hey, I can get out of that. No need to get hasty”, the man said, “I fucking love this fucking jacket.”

I blinked at him for a moment. Was he serious? When he struggled to get out of the jacket, I assumed that he was and helped him, as well as getting out of the shirt.

“You know, in any other circumstance being undressed by a hot lady such as yourself would be fucking hot”, he mumbled.

I ignored him and instead started to clean the wound, “the bullet is still in there. I can’t get it out.”

“Why not?”, he asked, slightly out of breath. Sweat was gathering on his brow.

I put a hand on his forehead. He was burning up. Great. “I am no doctor. I can stop the bleeding, but nothing else.”

“Fuck. Well, if my guys manage to pick me up or you give me another ride, I know where a doctor is that can patch me up”, he looked at me suddenly very serious, “you can make sure that I see the next day?”

“No problem”, I applied pressure to the wound with gauze. I had decided to save this man and I was not about to let him die now. Not after I had made the decision.

“That is good to hear, princess. What is your name?”

I didn’t even glance up at him as he bleeding stopped enough for me to start sowing the wound shut. It would have to be reopened and with the bullet inside he had to be really careful when he moved. “My name is Hayley and hold the torch.”

“I am Negan”, he said it with so much cockiness in his voice that he drew my gaze for a moment. A grin was plastered on his face. “Torch, what are you? fucking British?”

“I am”, I focused on the wound again, “stop waving your hand around.”

The light steadied. At least he wasn’t deaf. “No fire then?”

“You want people to find us?”, there was no snark in my voice, I was to focused on fixing him up.

“Fair enough. Not only pretty but smart as well.”

“Stupid people don’t survive in this world”, I murmured.

“You’d be surprised”, Negan said dryly.

“I’d rather much not be, all surprises in this world turn out to be horrible.”

“Well, fuck that is one heck of a depressing world view”, Negan’s stomach moved lightly.

Wasn’t he in pain? Why did he talk so much? Well, his voice was rather pleasant to listen to. “There you go”, I leaned back after I had closed the wound. It wasn’t pretty but it would keep him from bleeding out.

Another cocky grin, “thank you, princess.”

I nodded and went to wash my hands and the tools in the stream. I returned to Negan and got myself some of the disinfectant I had used for him. Carefully, I peeled away the makeshift bandages around my arm and grimaced at the dark rims of the wound.

“That doesn’t look to good”, Negan observed.

I didn’t bother to answer him, I only hissed when the disinfectant hit the wound. Negan lit it up with the torch, “what happened there?”

“Some dude thought I was just a defenceless princess”, I bared my teeth at Negan, half smile, half something else.

Negan grinned. He did that a lot, really. “Oh, I don’t think you are defenceless, I just think you are fucking pretty. What are you doing out here all on your lonesome?”

“Avoiding people like you.”

He raised an eyebrow, “people like me?”

“People making noise”, I explained, not willing to insult him just yet. Now that the wound was disinfected, I grabbed some bandages. I stared at my arm for a moment, trying to figure out how best to apply the bandage with only one hand.

“Here, let me do it”, Negan handed me the torch and I watched him as he bandaged the cut.

“Thanks”, I muttered.

“You saved me first, this is nothing”, he frowned slightly, “why did you save me anyway? You do not seem fucking fond of people.”

“I am even less fond of watching people die”, I confessed and got up, “I have some food stored, give me a minute. And don’t move too much, you still have a bullet inside of you.”

I walked to the back of my little island and rummaged through the baskets I had woven and hung up in the trees to keep the foxes and other scavengers away. Negan looked barely awake when I returned. I placed some stew I had made earlier in front of him and a water bottle. “You need to drink, you lost a lot of blood.”

“Thanks sweetie, I wouldn’t have noticed without you telling me”, he scoffed.

I ignored his sarcasm and took tack and saddle of Voron, moving to clean the saddle. The tack, a bitless bridle, was hung up on a tree branch.

“Sorry, for bleeding all over that”, Negan said. His face was a pale oval in the darkness.

I hummed in response, continuing to clean the blood of the saddle. It would lure walkers and other animals that could smell blood. Munin came over and cuddled up to me.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Noise draws walkers.” My voice was low to emphasize the words going with it. 

“Huh, right, but your little place looks pretty safe. Even if it is fucking cold”, he had put his jacket back on but not the bloody shirt. He peeked at the trees covering us, “And what do you do when it rains?”

I looked at him, he was pretty good in shape for a guy his age and got up. I walked over to one of the big oak trees, grabbed a blanket from the hollowed-out trunk and threw it his way. “I have a tarp that I hang from the trees when it rains.”

“Clever and thanks”, he snuggled up into the blanket, his boots peeking out. I couldn’t help but feel a hint of annoyance as I thought about all the blood he’d get on the blanket. See, people were just trouble.

He frowned, “aren’t you cold?”

I shook my head and then realised that he probably couldn’t see that in the darkness, “no.”

“Well, princess. Do all of your animal companions have names?”, Negan drawled, back to being all cocky.

“Voron”, I pointed and he saw the motion, “Munin and Hugin.”

“Damn awesome names.”

“You wait until you know what they mean.”

“What do they mean then?”, he asked, intense stare fixed on me.

I smirked, surprised by how entertaining it was to talk to Negan, “I don’t tell any stray that comes my way.”

“I am just a fucking stray then?”, he chuckled and cursed, “damn woman, don’t make me laugh, it hurts.”

I didn’t apologize and focused on the saddle again.

“You know, you should cuddle up to me in the night. I’ll keep you warm”, Negan offered after a while, as it got colder.

“Just sleep”, I said, my breath billowed in the air, “I’ll keep watch.”

“Don’t you have the dogs for that?”, Negan shifted in the darkness.

“I won’t cuddle up to you, Negan.”

He sighed, “well, the offer stands princess.”

I ignored him and eyed the saddle. It looked vaguely clean, but I’d have to check again in daylight. Silently, I placed it on a branch next to the tack and covered it with a protective blanket. After that was done, I sat down and leaned against my own tree trunk, with Munin and now Hugin beside me as well. The dogs gave me all the warmth I needed and Voron grazed not far away.

Negan’s steadied breathing told me he had fallen asleep. I relaxed a little and got some food for myself. Just some dried meat. I lit fires in the day to dry the meat and make it last longer. I hunted all the meat myself, game was in high abundance since the world ended and I knew most of the berry patches around. I had even a few hidden berry farms. Food had never been an issue for me.

The sound of the radio startled both of us in the middle of the night.

“Negan? Are you there?”, a male voice said.

“Fuck, Simon. Where the fuck have you been?”, Negan snapped, not at all sounding like he had been sleeping a few seconds ago.

“Sorry, boss. We had trouble with an ambush.”

“You too eh?”, Negan’s gaze caught mine. A dark light glowing in his eyes. He was definitely one of the crazier ones. “Where are you now? Can you pick me up? I have a bullet stuck inside me and it fucking hurts and I want to get back and bash some heads in with Lucille.”

He had named his baseball bat, just fucking great.

“We are headed towards sanctuary. Where are you?”

“Well…I have no fucking idea, but I can tell you where I left the truck and you can pick me up there”, Negan looked at me half questioning and I nodded. I’d take him back there.

“Sure thing.”

“The old forest road, by the sign.”

“Will be there in half an hour, boss.”

“Send some extra people, just in case there is another ambush.”

“Yes.”

Simon dropped of the radio and Negan looked at me, “how long do we need to get back?”

“Half an hour will cut it close”, I got up and brushed leaves of my dark cargo pants, “let’s go.”

Negan fought himself to his feet, supporting his weight on his baseball bat while I saddled Voron.

“You could come with me”, Negan offered, this time he was sitting behind the saddle, since he didn’t look like he would fall unconscious at any minute anymore. “Sanctuary is safe.”

“I bet it is”, I said as Voron trotted through the stream and the thickets behind it. Hugin and Munin pelted ahead. They never seemed to get tired at all.

“We have food, water and electricity there”, Negan’s breath warmed my ear, his arms wrapped around my waist, strong chest pressed against my back, “there is nothing you’ll lack there. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Charming”, I didn’t manage to hide the sarcasm.

Negan stiffened and chuckled, “I am fucking charming indeed. What can I offer you that you’ll take?”

“Loneliness.”

He drew in a sharp breath, “fuck me. That hurts.” He didn’t sound hurt at all, “and here I thought you liked me or at least my looks.”

I didn’t bother with an answer, rather focusing on my horse and the forest around us. I pricked my ears for the sounds of walkers shuffling and the scent of carrion. They were the easiest giveaways of the undead.

“Who hurt you so bad that you don’t want to trust me even after saving my life?”, Negan murmured. It was the closest to soft he had gotten so far.

I stiffened as memories barraged my mind. “The whole fucking world.”

“Sucks. I can make your world better.”

Did this guy ever shut up? “No, thanks.”

He sighed, “you are a stubborn one, you know that?”

“Yes, I am pretty sure I am to stubborn to die and that is why I haven’t yet.”

He laughed at that and winced, “I can imagine that. At least have my doctor have a look at your arm.”

“No thanks.”

He growled lightly, his arms tightened, “just saying no to me all the time is not cool.”

He had a weird way of emphasizing his words. Giving his sentences ups and downs like a hillside.

“Getting bucked off by my horse and then dying of your wound isn’t cool either”, I said coolly.

He hesitated for a second before he laughed again. “damn you are not easily frightened, are you? I like that!”

He shifted. Probably in pain from the wound.

“To be frightened you have to care.” The words escaped me before I could stop them.

“Shit”, he said, “again, depressing as fuck. Why don’t you come with me and I show you that life is worth living for?”

“No.”

He groaned, “damn it, woman!”

I stopped further away from the edge of the forest this time. Bright light was shining through the trees. Trucks and cars waited on the road with their headlights turned on.

Negan chuckled and slipped of Voron, “that will be my guys. Thanks for the ride princess. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

I looked down at him, at his handsome face and the devilish sparkle in his eyes. I almost said yes to the offer. To come with him, get lost in those eyes. “I am sure.”

Negan’s tongue flicked over his lower lip, “I’ll come back tomorrow with the doc, to make sure that your arm will be alright.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “why?”

“You saved my life, I’ll help you out”, Negan shrugged, “it is only fair.”

Suspicion fought with the urge to survive.

“Don’t look at me like that princess. You have my word and I am a stand-up guy, if nothing else. I keep my fucking word.” Negan leaned back, but he didn’t look like he’d fall over.

“Fine”, I agreed, “see you.”

Negan beamed, “awesome! See you princess!” He waved at me with the bat as I rode back into the forest, my realm.

I hadn’t expected Negan to be there the next day, leaned against a black truck with a nervous man next to him in a white lab coat. At least ten guys were securing the perimeter, armed with machine guns.

I did not want to get close to them, not even for my arm, despite the light fever I was sporting as the infection was getting worse. I stopped Voron deep into the forest and crept closer, Hugin and Munin at my side.

Negan looked even better in daylight. His eyes caught the sunlight and sparkled. He didn’t look like he had almost died yesterday. At that moment he caught my gaze, proving that he was a lot more attentive than he let on, “come on out princess, those guys are not going to hurt you.”

Carefully, I stepped out of the trees, having almost perfectly blended in with my dark green cargo pants and shirt. The dogs walked at my side and the guards eyed them warily. I refrained from touching the sword at my back.

Negan grinned at me, “wow, you look even better in daylight, darlin.”

Funny how I had thought exactly the same thing. I looked him up and down, “you don’t.” 

Negan laughed and winced, “damn, laughing still hurts. This is the doc. Doc, this is my brave saviour.”

The doctor nodded at me nervously. He had the energy of a mouse. “Negan told me you are hurt?”

I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt revealing the bandage Negan had put on last night. The doc moved the bandage away.

“Have you thought about my offer?”, Negan asked, eyes twinkling, leaning forward.

His eyes weren’t brown. From this distance they looked more like green with just a little bit of brown in them.

“I already told you last night”, I couldn’t look away from his eyes.

“I know the way you look at me, princess. You want a king”, Negan smirked.

I raised an eyebrow, not really impressed and turned back to the doctor, “how bad is it?”

“The infection has to be fought off from the inside now as it has spread, but I have brought some antibiotics that should help. It would be best if you came to the clinic with me”, he faltered at the glare I gave him.

Negan threw an arm around my shoulder, “see, princess? Even the doc thinks you should come with me!”

I barely resisted the urge to lean into his touch. He just felt to strong, to safe, while being a complete liability at the same time. “I’ll be fine.”

The doctor cleaned the wound, clearly uncomfortable with the banter between Negan and me.

Negan’s energy changed and I felt like I was looking at a lion. Not even Hugin and Munin had been this intimidating at first. The look made me want to scream and run or fight for my life. I squared my jaw, despite the fear. He had a mean glare. “No.”

Negan stared for a moment longer before he smiled. His sudden mood changes were unnerving. “So, fucking badass. I love that!”

I forced myself to look away from that damned smile of his with dimples a man like him shouldn’t have and to the doctor.

He handed me a pouch, “fresh bandages, disinfectant and the antibiotics. Two a day. If the fever gets worse three.”

I nodded and ducked away from Negan’s embrace, “thanks doc. Good bye, Negan.”

Negan strode after me, “that sounds so final, princess.” He managed to grab my uninjured arm.

Sighing I turned around to face him, “you just want me with you to have a pretty face to fuck.”

“And why is that bad?”

“It isn’t bad, but I don’t need that sort of shit right now.”

He grinned again, “and when do you need it?”

I leaned forward, invading his personal space. His eyes flickered to my lips. His tongue sucked over the front of his teeth.

“How about never?”

Negan’s smirk only grew, “you are fucking sexy, you know that?”

I rolled my eyes at him and stepped back before I could do something I’d regret later, “take care, Negan.”

“Oh, come on, Hayley.”

I shook my head and vanished into the woods, allowing myself only one last look at him with his leather jacket and baseball bat. My heart ached as if I was leaving a friend. I hadn’t even known him for a whole day. But it felt longer. Probably just the loneliness speaking. Or the fever. That had to be it.

Light alerted me to the fact that something was wrong. Well even more wrong. The whole day people had been running through the forest doing god knows what. It had been a pain in the ass to avoid them, but I had managed. It hadn’t been worth the risk to fight them or approach them.

When night fell, I thought I would finally have my forest to myself again, but then I saw the lights and a feeling of dread settled in my stomach. Lights without noise? That couldn’t be good. It just couldn’t. It wasn’t the light of a fire either. No, it was the lights of cars. And quite a few at that.

I knew I should have ridden away. Instead I rode closer, Voron’s dark coat hidden in the night. I was always hidden, leaning close to his neck, my breath billowing in the cool night air.

A bunch of cars stood in a loose circle, lighting up a free spot between them with a camper van bordering the other side, completing the half-hearted circle.

People were on their knees inside the circle. Lined up as if they were supposed to be executed. Even more people, standing and armed, surrounded them.

“Hey, who are you?”

I disarmed the man before he could speak another sentence and knocked him out with the end of his own machine gun. I kept the machine gun at hand. I hated guns but I wasn’t sure if I could just watch people getting executed.

Not that I would get the chance. Five people suddenly surrounded me with guns of their own.

“Drop it”, one of them said. He had dirty blonde hair and a look in his eyes that I had seen far too often since the world ended.

I stared at them, the dogs were back in the forest, they’d come, but I didn’t want to risk Voron being hurt. I dropped the machine gun and the man smirked.

“Now get of the horse, nice and slow.”

My jaw tensed as I dismounted Voron. A man reached for Voron’s reins.

“Don’t touch my horse”, I said while dirty blonde pressed the barrel of the machine gun to the back of my head.

“Shut up.”

The man that had reached for Voron looked at me, “I’ll do whatever the fuck I like, bitch.”

I sighed. I had warned him.

He grabbed the reins. Voron pinned his ears back. His head snapped up. The reins slipped out of the grasp of the man as the stallion rose on his hind quarters and crushed his skull. His scream stopped abruptly.

“What the fuck is going on back there, Finn?!”, an all too familiar voice shouted. I had not heard it in two months and yet I had never forgotten the sound of it.

Voron fell back onto his front hooves, prancing, ready to strike out again. The men backed off, clearly freaked out by the horse.

“I told you”, I said, staring at the man that had spoken first. He looked a little pale.

“Take your horse and go!”, he snapped, the gun still pointed at my head.

I took Voron’s reins and calmly walked into the clearing. Negan’s eyes widened.

“Well, fuck me, if it isn’t my princess!”, he beamed at me, leaning back, swinging his baseball bat, “I thought you died. Why didn’t you show up again? I called for you!”

I crossed my arms, letting go of the reins. Voron stopped next to me, like an oversized guard dog. “I am not some dog, that comes when called.”

Negan grinned, his teeth flashed white and the dimples deepened, “of course you aren’t, you are a badass lady! Speaking of dogs, where are yours?”

“Back up.”

Negan pointed Lucille at me, “very smart, very smart indeed. Now love have you come to watch the show?”

“Her horse killed George”, dirty blonde said. Finn?

Negan laughed, “oh I bet he did. Voron is a fucking badass horse.”

Finn frowned in confusion.

“This ladies and gentlemen”, Negan made a wide sweeping motion, “is Hayley. She saved my life two months ago.”

I tried not to shift under all the stares that were suddenly on me.

Negan looked like this was his birthday, “now, princess. What can I do for you on this fine evening?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to know what was going on. Now I know and I want nothing to do with it”, I hesitated, “just… are you planning on killing all these people?”

“I would be in my fucking right to do so”, anger slipped into Negan’s voice, “they attacked one of my outposts. Killed quite a few of my people but no, love, I am not going to kill them all, just a few of them. Enough for them to know that I am not messing the fuck around.”

“Great, I’ll be going then”, I mounted Voron, happy to get out of the spotlight.

“The offer for sanctuary still stands”, Negan said lazily, but I saw the light in his eyes. He wanted me back and I wanted to be with him again as well. In the last two months, I had replayed our conversation in my head over and over again until I knew every word of it. When he had called me, I had hidden in the bushes, just listening to his voice. I remembered feelings of his arms.

I bit my lip, “I’ll think about it.”

Negan beamed once more, “now that are words I like to hear. Don’t go too far princess.”

I couldn’t help but smile a little and Negan’s smile turned warmer, making my heart leap. Oh, this was going to be bad.


	3. Shit that keeps you alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real warnings to give out apart maybe for some eww walkers. A light chapter, not overly long (in comparison to the first two mind you). Part two coming next week.

**Patience**

I waited patiently on the roof opposite the mall I was scouting. A lot of cars stood abandoned and rusting in the parking lot, indicating that not many people had made it out of there alive if at all. Which in turn meant a lot of walkers loitered in there, hopefully guarding supplies.

The big cities in the new world were rather dangerous. The most walkers roamed them, but they also held the most supplies. And if your survival skills were rather medium you needed those. At least I didn’t need much since I was on my own.

I had this mall in my sights for a few weeks now and so far, I had seen no one leave or enter. Most walkers in the immediate area were already dead, killed by my blade, but the walkers in the cities never stopped.

A gust of wind blew a few strands of cinnamon coloured hair into my face. With an annoyed huff I put it back behind my ear. My wild curls hadn’t been interested in staying in braids and ponytails before the apocalypse. Without hair care products they weren’t interested at all.

The cold wind brought clouds with it and I decided that it was time to check out the mall. If I got wet and started dripping, I’d for sure be noticed by the walkers.

The stairs to my roof had long been destroyed, but I didn’t need them anyway. Easily, I slid down a rain gutter and landed on the pavement, keeping my steps light. I had always been quiet but in the apocalypse, I raised it to an Olympic discipline. If I really wanted to, I could sneak past people and walkers without so much of a whisper. Though walkers were more difficult, since they had an actual sense of smell.

**Silence**

Silently I walked over the street and approached the mall. If there had been a sniper around, I would be dead. I had been here for a few months now and had never encountered another soul. Which was a good thing and might just stay the winter. There was still much to explore and maybe I’d even head for the skyscrapers for some real parkouring fun. Since the police was dead, I could parkour wherever I wanted and damn was that fun.

I avoided the broken glass shards on the floor, giving no indication that anything had entered the mall. I sent a few small animals scurrying in panic when they noticed. Now that humans produced a lot less waste, vermin populations had reduced drastically though rats still held rule over most big cities, gnawing away at walkers, which was freaky if you asked me but whatever.

I stepped into a dark spot to the right of the door and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim light. Just blindly rushing ahead would be foolish and I liked to think I wasn’t foolish with patience being my first rule and all. 

People thought the things that would keep you alive in an apocalyptic world would be survival skills like lighting a fire and knowing what to eat. I had seen people like this die and be torn apart by walkers because they lacked common sense. _Patience, silence, wit and dare_ kept you alive, at least in my experience and since I was still alive, I felt like that counted for something.

Still standing in the same spot, I scanned the entrance area of the mall. Plants had started to grow through gaps in the floor, an abandoned fountain sprouted and amazing selection of herbs, shattered glass and greenery all over made it look just like every abandoned place artwork you had seen before the world ended.

Finally, I found the fire escape plans and general direction maps and walked over. I scanned the plans, memorising the exits and general layout of the mall, just in case. Taking note of the food stores, I headed there first. My eyes scanned the shop signs and fronts as I passed. All of the windows had been destroyed, making it a minefield to walk through the mall. It was almost like a dance to avoid all the glass. I stopped by a place that had sold backpacks.

I stopped in front of the broken shop windows. There were no backpacks left in the main room. The faint groaning of walkers reached my ears and I tilted my head to listen intently. They were on the lower levels, as far as I could tell. Definitely not inside the shop in front of me. It smelled to nice anyway. If you could call it nice. Mouldy was better than rotting any day.

Readjusting the sword on my back, I stepped into the shop. I needed a new backpack. My current one, it had been white once but was now brown with dirt, was sporting a few holes that slowly but surely got to bothersome to fix.

The shop was even darker than the halls outside, but I didn’t bother with a flashlight.

There were a few purses and bags left, but nothing that was sturdy enough for my needs, hence the reason they had been left behind. So, I headed straight for the store rooms of the shop. They usually had the most bounty as the average survivor couldn’t pick locks and was generally not strong or brave enough to kick doors in.

The door I came upon was a dark purple, what an odd colour choice, and rather heavy looking. Kicking it in would make way to much nose, so I got my lockpicks and started working. It was fairly easy. Picking locks had been a lot harder when you had to make sure no one saw you. Another thing that had become easier with the lack of police officers around.

“Bingo”, I murmured to myself as I entered the room. It was filled to the brim with backpacks. I hadn’t seen so much stuff in one place in a long time and decided to get two, just for the sake of having two.

My main backpack got replaced with a sturdy military type, with straps that would keep it close to my body when I ran and jumped. The other one I could throw over my shoulder. It would be worse for running and more for my supplies. It had the same camo colouring.

 _This might just turn out to be a good scavenging trip_. I put all my stuff in the new backpack and left the old one. It ached my heart a little. The backpack had been with me since my school days but you didn’t lob around stuff like that in the apocalypse. I locked the door again and headed straight for the food sections. There was not as much here as I had hoped. Even in the locked areas. But I found enough for me to get by for another few weeks.

After checking the food stores on the ground floor, I headed up to the first floor. The mall itself had five floors up and two more down, not including the parking levels. Walkers however liked dark areas more and I really didn’t want to explore the lower levels of the mall. I wasn’t too proud to admit but it scared the fuck out of me.

The first floor was surprisingly full of walkers. Without making a sound, I drew my blade. I had lined the inside of the special made sheath with fabric so the blade would be silent when drawn. The walkers didn’t even know what hit them until they were dead on the floor and my new bags got their first drops of walker blood on them.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a few rats scuttle closer, waiting for me to leave, to enjoy their meal. I screwed my nose at the thought and quickly checked the walkers for anything useful.

I stifled a whistle when I came upon a Glock with a full magazine. I wasn’t overly fond of guns, as the sound of gunshots alerted everything to your presence, but I had kept a suppressor with me for weeks now, just in case I found a gun.

Smirking, I put it on the Glock and holstered it to my thigh before I started checking the first level. On occasion, I came upon some walkers that met my blade. The stores up here were better stocked than the ground floor, probably because of the walkers. Walkers were notoriously bad at stairs and climbing shit, so all the walkers on the floors had been here for ever.

My bag was a lot heavier when I headed up to the next floor. The third was full of walkers as well. When I reached the fourth, I froze at the sound of car engines outside.

**Wit**

I beheaded another walker coming up behind me and I listened closer to the engines. That weren’t just cars but trucks. The loud rumbling died, somehow making the silence afterwards thunderous or it was the blood rushing through my ears. Who in the fuck still had gas for cars? A few walkers threw themselves from the higher levels and splattered all over the ground as the noise drew them in and I sidestepped to let another walker pass me and fall of the fourth floor.

By the sound of it at least four trucks were parked outside. Doors slammed shut and people called out to each other as if they didn’t have a care in the world, with all the ruckus they were making.

This was bad. They were confident. Confident groups were even worse than groups in general. Groups these days were worse than herds of walkers. You never knew what you could expect with groups. Some were decent others were totally nuts. Sadly, the totally nuts groups had the numbers on all the others.

My eyes scanned the fourth floor. I knew where the fire exists were but they were rusty and broken. With my luck a step would break and announce my presence to the whole world. Not to mention that they led down to the ground floor into an alley that only lead around to the front of the building. Exactly where I didn’t want to go. It was either up to the roof or out of a window on this floor. The mall was the tallest building for quite some distance around. I’d be trapped on the roof, which meant a window. With a little bit of luck and skill, I might make it to the third floor in time, or I would be shot.

I moved quietly into a dark spot when people entered through the destroyed doors of the mall. At least fifty people strolled in. With that many people they’d have the place cleared quickly. I needed to get out of here fast.

All of them were armed. It was a mixed bunch of men and women, which meant that they probably were not into raping people, but who knew. I had seen all sorts of shit these days.

They were talking and laughing to themselves, joking about the walkers still falling to the ground floor as they split up to check all the levels.

I moved from my spot when all the people on the ground floor had moved out of sight. Mindful of the light, I made sure I was nothing more than a fleeting shadow you might or might not see out of the corner of your eyes, and headed for the fire escape stairs at the back.

Quietly I opened the door to the fire escape and thanked the universe that it didn’t creak. A thin metal wire was strapped to the railing of the stairs connected to the opposite roof. It was pretty far down. I had tied the wire here on a previous scouting trip, just for this occasion. I was glad for my paranoia sometimes.

With swift movements I tied the duffle bag to the wire and sent it off. When it hit the roof, I snapped the wire, to make sure no one would notice it quite as quickly and headed back inside. I kept my backpack. I would never go anywhere without my backpack. Everything that I needed to survive was in there, and I didn’t mean food but basic things as a metal water bottle, clothes, a flashlight, my whetstone, rope and some other useful stuff.

“Wait”, a male voice called from below as I moved back through the shadows.

I knew where I wanted to go now. It would be fucking risky, but I knew a way out. _If I survive this shit, I am granting myself some chocolate._

“These walkers are freshly killed”, the same person said.

A deeper voice answered him, “fuck and really fucking fresh at that, the rats have barely gotten their share. We have company.”

He sounded outright delighted by that thought.

“Come out, come out wherever you are.” He sang.

I grimaced. He had a very nice voice but sounded like a total lunatic.

“There are some up here to, boss”, a male voice said from my floor.

I shot a look around the corner and spotted a dude with a machine gun prodding a dead walker with his foot.

“Any on the fifth floor?”, the deep voice called. So, he was the boss. Go figure.

“No”, someone shouted from up top.

“They are on the fourth floor then”, deep voice concluded and I heard steps.

“They could be gone”, the first voice said.

“Doubtful, the walkers are that fucking fresh we would have seen them”, deep voice walked up the vacant escalators.

I sensed my chance when he turned to the dude that was prodding my dead walker. They had their backs turned to me and I scurried away through the shadows towards the café at the left side of the mall. They had nice big windows faced towards a roof a little higher than the rest and in a good position to jump onto the roof I had sent my duffle back to. It wouldn’t be nice to fall such a distance, but I had the training for it.

The only problem was the light falling in and illuminating me for the group to see. A risk I would have to take if I wanted to get out of here alive, because I did not trust these guys.

I stopped in another dark spot and cast a look back. One of the men was scanning the level. He was tall, towering over the other two, with black hair and dark eyes. He had a short, salt and pepper beard. His strong shoulders were hugged by a really nice leather jacket. He wore a red scarf, dark pants and black boots. On his shoulder sat a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire. This dude had to be the leader, the deep voice. He had this whole leader energy around him and it had nothing to do with his ruggedly handsome look.

“I want the whole fucking floor searched”, he barked, eyes still scanning the level. “Find them!”

The two men nodded and few more hurried up the empty escalators.

 _Fuck. No more sneaking around then_. Not only did they have flashlights but they looked about ready to take the place apart to find me.

“Come out, you fucker”, bat man called. I smirked the nickname, “this will be a lot easier for me if you just show your fucking face and a lot less painful for you in the end.”

His eyes rested on my shadow spot for longer than I liked.

I turned my head towards the café. I could make that. I had to make that.

**Dare**

Ignoring the bat man, I moved along the shadows. Wishing for a black backpack and clothes. Maybe I should have checked the clothing stores as well.

I moved faster than I would usually dare to, but I had to reach the café before they did. And I did not look back. I needed to make sure where I placed my feet as not to step on glass.

“There you are”, bat man said and sounded a lot closer than I had anticipated.

A few guns were cocked in my general direction, the café was at my back. I whirled around. I didn’t draw any weapon on him. He was a few metres behind me, two goons with guns behind him, said guns trained at me, but no one was coming from the other direction just yet, which was good.

“Now, that is a fucking pretty face. You should have come out much earlier, love”, the man said with a cocky grin on his face.

It was a good grin, but the look in his eyes unnerved me. He was enjoying this, with the bat in his hands and everything. People that enjoyed other people’s fear were generally not emotionally sane.

His eyes wandered over my body. I was at least 10 inches smaller than him, with a tight blue tank top and a black leather jacket and black combat boots. The tank top showed more cleavage than I was suddenly comfortable with and the leather jacket emphasized my curves. At least my olive-green cargo pants didn’t give too much away.

“I like your clothing style, love. What’s your name?”, he asked, stepping closer.

I took a step back.

“Don’t move”, one of his goons said.

I raised an eyebrow, “or you are going to shoot me?”

He opened his mouth to speak but leader guy interrupted him, “No, we are not”, he was still smiling, revealing very white teeth, “you are way to fucking pretty to be shot. I just want to talk. Where are my fucking manners? I am Negan.” He pointed his bat at me, “and this is Lucille.”

“Nice to meet you”, I said more out of reflex than anything else.

He laughed, “so fucking polite! How lovely. And what is your name, dollface?”

Dollface was by far the worst pet name I had ever heard. “Chucky?”

“What?”

“You know chucky the murder doll?”

He guffawed, “oh fuck me, you are smart too! I have hit the fucking jackpot here. Smart and beautiful. Where were you hiding all my life?”

“Far away from you”, I said before I could stop myself.

He took another step forward and I took another one back. I was properly standing in the light now, streaming through the windows of the café, but I didn’t even dare to glance towards my exit, just in case I would betray my intentions.

His gaze hardened, “now that is not very fucking nice.”

“Your guys still have guns pointed at my face”, I said with half a shrug. My sword shifted on my back at the movement, calming me somewhat, “that isn’t fucking nice either.”

His lips twitched again, “you don’t scare easy, do you? I like that.”

Hell, I was terrified, but that had never stopped me from being snarky. Which was pretty stupid considering.

“Take your guns down guys”, Negan said, “and will you tell me your name now, pretty?”

“Why do you care so much?”, I asked and slightly readjusted my stance as the goons lowered their weapons. My heartbeat still was way too fast. Even without guns pointed at every inch of me this shit was way to fucking dangerous.

“I would like a name to such a pretty face”, Negan simply said and I nearly rolled my eyes.

“None of your business!”, I wasn’t even sure why I didn’t want to give him my name. It wasn’t like he could look me up on Facebook. 

Negan took another step closer, pissed off by my answer. “Give me your fucking guns and talk.”

I swallowed hard and backed away into the area of the café. I forced down the wave of sickness and fear, putting a smirk on my face in the hopes of appearing more confident than I felt. “We are already talking though.”

“We are, but you look about ready to bolt and I would like to know how much stuff you took from this fine establishment, what you can do and if you’d like to come with me”, he gave me a bright smile as if he wasn’t threatening me.

The sudden change from threatening to smiling brightly only convinced me of the lunatic impression from earlier.

“I think I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer.”

The smile vanished, “you have the chance for something better now, but the window of opportunity is closing fast.”

My window of opportunity was right behind me. Literally. “Look, Negan. I don’t know the kind of group you are having, but I am happy on my own.”

“Right, give me the stuff you took from this place then and you can go”, Negan said and I didn’t believe a word.

“Why would I do that?”, I asked and crossed my arms, “this is not your place.”

“I decide what’s fucking mine and what fucking isn’t”, he nearly growled.

Stones dropped into my belly and it took all my courage to let him come closer. _Let him think he has cornered me_.

“How does your ego even fit in here?”, I waited for him to come even closer. He was towering over me now, hiding me effectively from the goons with the guns.

“You have nowhere to go, cupcake.”

He stood so close, I had to crane my neck to look up at him and I got a good whiff of his aftershave which smelled amazing! I pushed the thought from my mind. He might smell good but he was also trying to kidnap me!

“It has been nice talking to you, Negan. I bet you are a real nice guy.” With that I whirled around, dodged the hand with which he tried to grab me and ran towards the windows. I grabbed my gun and shot one bullet. The window shattered. Glass exploded everywhere. 

I heard shouting behind me, more glass shattered when they started firing at me, while Negan shouted something else. The words were lost in the general chaos. I dared to cast a look back. 

Negan was coming after me. His long legs brought him very close, very fast. Anger and something else burned in his eyes. The goons had stopped firing. I turned my head back around. The broken window was right before me and below a drop sure to kill me if I missed the timing. I jumped out of the window with a grin.

Air rushed past my face as I fell towards the roof. As soon as my feet hit, I bend my knees and rolled, despite the backpack, to take the force out of the fall. Only years of training kept my bones and body from breaking.

Still grinning, I leapt back to my feet and waved to Negan who stood at the edge of the broken windows and stared at me with a slack jaw. I blew him a kiss and ran away over the roof to get my duffle bag and head back to my hiding place.


	4. Shit that doesn't keep you alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warning apart from strong language since it's Negan.

**Curiosity**

Curiosity kills the cat and people in the apocalypse. I should have just let the encounter with Negan go, but a guy like him was really hard to forget. Even when I had gotten back to my hiding space in the attic of a house, I felt like I could still hear his voice, smell his aftershave, because damn did that guy smell good.

The look in his eyes lingered in my mind as I sorted through my supplies and it kept distracting me while I tried to make a mental list of what I had and what I might need.

“Fuck”, I said and Murder echoed me.

“Fuck!”, the raven cawed.

I threw Murder an annoyed look, “yeah, thanks for that, buddy.”

Murder, named after a murder of crows, was the only company I had since the world ended and now that I had talked with another human being, who hadn’t tried to kill me immediately, it bugged me. The fact that he was handsome was an added bonus.

 _I should not go back_. My common sense told me not to go back and yet I found myself getting back to my feet, strapping my backpack in place and climbing out the window and onto the roof.

“Fuck?!”, Murder asked as I headed over the roof. He had been off somewhere when I had scouted the mall. He didn’t like being inside. He was smarter than I, really.

“I know that it is a bad idea”, I fell into a light jog, leaping of the roof and clinging to the gutter of the opposite house. I climbed up the gutter like a monkey and pulled myself up onto the flat roof, where I picked up my pace until I was almost flying over the different rooftops, with Murder actually flying over me.

The mall was a good fifteen-minute run away from my hiding place and that was like cross country over roofs. It would take longer if you followed the streets. So, my hiding place should be safe, especially because it wasn’t fortified traditionally. I hadn’t barred the windows on the ground floor and there was a walker in the garden next to mine. The house looked totally abandoned and the attic was only accessible from the roof.

The trucks were still parked in front of the mall when I reached the roof from which I had first scoped it out. People loaded stuff into the trucks and Negan overlooked the whole operation with Lucille in hand.

The guys were not only taking the food but almost everything else. Clothes. Furniture, you name it. Had they gotten into the backspace of the backpack store as well? Probably. They looked like they would be able to pick locks or simply destroy everything in their path. There was something very crude about these people.

I sat down at the edge of the roof and Murder landed beside me. A few more ravens joined us as I unpacked the chocolate, I had promised myself. It didn’t even taste stale yet. Yes! 

I knew immediately when Negan spotted me. His whole body stiffened for a moment before he headed in my direction with a very determined stride. Two goons followed him. Their eyes nearly popped out of their heads when they spotted me up on the roof surrounded by ravens.

“Well, hello there again”, Negan said, he smirked as if he was in control and I wasn’t out of reach on a roof, “I hadn’t expected you back so soon. Did you rethink my offer?”

It was easy to hear him even with the distance between us. I kept a close watch on his armed monkeys. I did not want to end up shot. “No, I just came to enjoy the view.”

Negan grinned and turned around himself, arms wide, “and it is a nice fucking view, isn’t it?”

I raised my eyebrows, fighting a smile, “why do you think I meant you?”

“Oh, come on, you can’t fool me, darling”, Negan drawled and I probably couldn’t. He was far too handsome.

“Why are you taking the furniture?”

“I need somewhere to sit, darling. Don’t you fucking need furniture?”

I shrugged, “usually not worth the trouble, but you guys to look to be very well organized.”

Negan smiled proudly, “that we fucking are. We are the Saviours and back at Sanctuary we have all your heart could desire. Running water, warmth, food, safety.”

“Sounds like an advertisement for post-apocalyptic residence”, I joked and failed in fighting my smile. I finished my chocolate and put the paper into a pocket of my cargo pants. _No need to leave my trash behind_.

Negan’s smile widened in return, “it is in-fucking-deed and I am offering you a chance spot in there, Tomb Raider. The way you jumped out of that fucking window was so fucking bad ass! I have never seen anything as fucking cool as that. We could need someone like you, especially because you didn’t even point a weapon at me, which I always greatly appreciate.”

I looked at him critically. I didn’t like groups, as I mentioned before, but I also noticed how much I missed human contact. Only coming in contact with people had made me realise how much I missed it, but was it worth the risk? Worth the solitude I was so used to? “I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on love. This is no fucking place for someone as pretty as you, not to mention that you have to be fucking lonely”, Negan clearly sensed my hesitation.

“I might be lonely”, I agreed.

“Lonely!”, Murder echoed and I rolled my eyes at the raven.

“Don’t interrupt me!”

“Does that crow talk?”

“It’s a raven”, I corrected.

“And it fucking talks?”, Negan asked incredulously.

“You heard him, didn’t you?”, I asked back, “and as I was saying, I might be lonely, but groups are fucking nuts.”

“Mine isn’t”, Negan said still eying Murder suspiciously, “how do you train a fucking raven to talk?”

“You don’t really. He just picked up things along the way”, I petted Murder with a smile. He pushed his head further into my hand.

“It’s a he?”

“Yes. His name is Murder”, I said with a grin.

“Murder?”, Negan echoed, “like a murder of crows?”

My grin widened, “exactly.”

“But you just said it’s a raven.”

“He is.”

Negan frowned. Clearly confused by what I was saying and leaned back to get a better look at me, “well, the Saviours aren’t fucking nuts.”

“You would say that as their leader.”

“Well, I make the rules so I would fucking know! No rape, no abuse, everybody gets to eat, but everybody has to earn their share as well”, Negan explained.

It sounded too good to be true and I shook my head, “thanks but no thanks.”

“Oh, come on love. I am really trying my fucking best to convince you down here”, he gave me another model magazine smile, showing really cute dimples on his cheeks, “you know, if you become my wife you don’t have to work at all.”

“What a nice offer.” The words dripped with sarcasm. “I’d much rather die than trade my body for safety.”

“Harsh words”, Negan said, but didn’t seem to be bothered much, “what can I offer you then?”

“Nothing really. I am perfectly content as I am”, I stood up, “good bye Negan.”

“Wait”, he shouted as I had just stepped of the ledge back onto the roof.

I leaned back over to look down at him.

“I still don’t know your name.”

I smirked, “you don’t indeed.” With that I left.

He cursed down on the street and my smirk widened, feelings of companionship bloomed in my chest that I hadn’t felt in ages. How weird.

**Making friends**

Friends got you in trouble. Anybody that said there was safety in numbers, had no idea how to survive alone and how quiet you could be on your own. I knew it was a mistake to follow the trucks through the city. They had cleared the mall but had come back a few days later to clear some more spaces. Negan was always with them, scanning the rooftops, clearly looking for me.

Today, I found him actually on a roof. Grinning to myself, as he and I were continuing to play cat and mouse, I climbed up on a broadcasting tower, which put me only a few metres above his head.

“Hi.”

He jumped. It was funny to see such a tall and confident man startle. “Fuck me, woman! Do you have to sneak up on my like that?”

“I am good at sneaking up on people”, I balanced on the edge of the little metal platform to look down at him, the wind made my cinnamon hair fly all over the place, “and this is my territory.”

“How did you even get up there?”, Negan asked with a frown, one hand still tense around his baseball bat.

“I grew wings”, I said sarcastically.

“Oh, are you in a bad mood today?”, Negan smirked and his shoulders relaxed.

“I am talking to you, am I not?” He’d fucking know if I was in a bad mood.

“Yeah, I saw you the other day”, Negan’s gaze hardened, “and I do not like to be ignored.”

“Well, you better get used it to it, buddy. I have better things to do than to run after you every time you whistle”, I snapped.

Murder landed on a metal bar atop me, “hello!”

“Well, hello there creepy raven!”, Negan greeted the bird, “you know, raven girl, we might have a problem if you keep being rude.”

Now it was my time to smirk. Negan looked to be as agile as a Rottweiler, he would have no chance against me in a rooftop chase. Not even with his long legs. “Oh no, I am horribly afraid!”

Negan scowled and pointed Lucille at me. The barbed wire gleamed in the sunlight, “you should be. I have enough people to turn this whole fucking city on its head.”

“I doubt that”, I said. I really did. It was a rather big city and there was a herd deeper into the place that would tear them apart, “I know this place, Negan. I know every crevice.” Well that might be a little exaggerated, but he didn’t need to know that, “If I want to vanish, or pick your guys off one by one you won’t be able to stop me.”

Negan glared up at me. It was a very good glare, that unnerved me despite my elevated position. “You wouldn’t be this brave if you were down here with me.”

“Correct”, I said, “but since I am not, it doesn’t really matter.”

“And I thought you were brave”, Negan scoffed.

Was he trying to goad me into coming down? How fucking stupid did he think I was? I didn’t need pride in the apocalypse. Pride got you killed to. “I am brave, but I am not stupid and going up against you would be stupid”, I sighed, “look I don’t want to argue with you, but I am a little irritated by all the ruckus you are making in my city.”

Negan raised an eyebrow, “your city huh? And if you just came with me there would be no fucking problem whatsoever.”

“Yes, my city. I was here first and for quite some time now. And why are you so insistent on recruiting me anyway?”, I asked with a confused tilt of my head.

“You are entertaining and as I said, Tomb Raider, you would be very fucking useful and I bet you know some amazing food stores in this city”, Negan said, showing that he was not only thinking with his dick.

I put a hand over my heart, “I don’t know whether to feel offended or not that you are interested in more than my pretty face.”

“Well, complimenting your looks last time had you jump out of a window on the fourth floor so I thought I’d try a different tactic.”

We grinned at each other.

“Fair enough. And you are correct. I do know some stores in this city but that won’t be much help for you.”

“Why is that?”, Negan asked, whirling Lucille around.

“There is a herd deeper in, a big one”, I pointed vaguely towards the city centre, “I usually wouldn’t tell people and just let them walk to their doom but strangely enough I like you.”

Negan chortled, “well, good to hear that I have made some impression.”

It was weird to help Negan like this. Almost as if I was making friends and I didn’t know what to think of that.

“Thanks for the heads-up. I will keep my guys away from that place. Isn’t the herd bothering you?”

If I hadn’t known better, I would have said Negan was concerned. “No human or walker can get me when I am on the roofs.”

“Huh, yeah, well that makes sense”, Negan admitted.

“Where is Sanctuary?”, I asked curiously.

“You’d like to know that, wouldn’t you?”, Negan smirked. “Sorry, darling. I can’t tell you.”

“Why not? Are you afraid I am going to rob you? Do you have some artefacts that Tomb Raider me would like to acquire?”

Negan chuckled, “maybe I have something down my pants that you would like to acquire.”

He had not actually said that. I’d just pretend I hadn’t heard or I’d roll my eyes so fucking hard they’d pop out of my skull.

“No, hotshot, there are no artefacts but I am not just giving away my address to every stranger that asks.”

“Stranger?”, I asked and faked hurt, “and here I thought we were more than that, Negan.”

He laughed lightly at my antics, “I like you; I have to admit. Even though I still don’t know your name.”

I smiled proudly, “how about I give you my name and you tell me where Sanctuary is?”

Negan shook his head, “nope. You have to give me something better.”

I pouted and gave him my best puppy look.

Negan drew in a sharp breath, “damn woman, do you know what that look fucking does to me?”

“Hopefully it convinces you to tell me where you live.”

“I swear at every other time I would have said yes, why are you suddenly so interested?”, Negan asked and I saw a light bulge in his pants. Oh yeah, he had liked my look.

“I want to check out your place. Test whether you are really what you say you are”, I didn’t see any harm in telling him that. “I want to know what I am walking into, if I am walking into anything.”

And that was no guarantee.

Negan thought about that for a moment, “I would gladly show you around the place.”

“And lock me up?”, I shook my head, “I don’t trust you enough for that, Negan.”

“How much do you trust me?”, he asked his voice a little lower.

“Just enough so that you will not shoot me most likely.”

Negan sighed, “we are not going to get anywhere like this, are we?”

“My paranoia is unsurpassed, sorry”, I shrugged and smiled apologetically, “it has kept me alive all this time.”

Even before.

“Guess we just have to keep doing it one the rooftops then”, Negan said and I chuckled at the wording.

“Guess so.”

His radio crackled, “Boss. We have found some really nice stuff down here you might want to take a look at.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.”

I stood up, “it has been nice talking to you, Negan.”

“You too, hotshot. See ya.”

“See ya”, I was strangely enough dreading the day when Negan had cleared the city and wouldn’t come back again. I knew I shouldn’t get this attached. Hell, the dude had named his baseball bat and was talking to it, but despite that I liked him. Despite all my better judgement.

**Recklessness**

I knew this was reckless. Hell, it was borderline stupid. Who did I think I was? Actual Tomb Raider? I might have fun talking to Negan when I was perched high up on a roof and safe but I had no idea what he’d do if we came face to face and despite that, I was marking one of his cars for Murder to follow and lead me back to later.

I should know better. I shouldn’t need to know nor want to know where Sanctuary was and yet I couldn’t help it. It was as if there was an invisible rope tying me to Negan and pulling at my heart every time, I wasn’t around him. It was annoying and I was sure it was going to get me killed.

Impatiently I paced on a roof, waiting for my raven to return. The whole tracking and leading thing had been a pain in the ass to train. Lucky for me ravens were smart and didn’t stand out much in the cities. Not that anybody cared these days.

Finally, I heard the familiar caw of Murder and picked up my backpack. It was filled with all kind of necessities to keep me afloat for a few days. I could actually lay traps for small animals. Most of the time I caught rats and out in the forest it would hopefully turn up a rabbit. Hm, rabbit stew sounded way to nice.

“Show me, boy”, I said and ran after my raven as he headed back into the direction he had come from. He had never led me astray. Unlike humans, you could trust animals blindfolded.


	5. Good weapon taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light gore warning, since there is some walker fighting. Also language warning, but that is a given with Negan.

Walkers surrounded us on all sides on the empty street, but that never stopped us. The stupid zombies had nothing on us. Us being my mother, my sister, our dog and I. We had survived the fucking end of the world and we’d survive whatever the fuck came after it.

My mother fought with a bastard sword and looked pretty awesome doing so. My sister preferred her axe, a proper medieval axe, pretty big, cuts through almost anything. I had a sword strapped to my back, but my favourite weapon was a baseball bat. Wooden, sturdy, handmade. My mother had it since I could remember and I had taken it onto me to use it when the world ended. 

“Are you ready girls?”, my mother asked over the growling of the walkers. Her red hair cut short. Just like my sister she hated long hair. All of us had the same red mane, the only difference was that my hair was curly. The curls had somehow passed my sister. The model beauty. Not that beauty mattered much these days.

“Fuck yes”, I said, wielding the bat. Beating the shit out of walkers was the most fun I had in years. Though I was glad there was almost no wind. Walkers smelled worse than the socks of soccer guys.

Our dog, a Doberman- Husky mix, growled. Pale eyes fixed on the advancing walkers. My sister didn’t say anything, but she was not one for many words, just condescending glances.

“Then let’s show those fuckers who owns this shithole of a planet”, my mother usually didn’t cuss much but the apocalypse had really loosened her tongue.

A grin spread on my face as I started smashing brains in, while I heard the slicing of my mother’s sword, the hacking of the axe and the growling of Icecream. Yes, our murderous dog was named Icecream.

Brains exploded with a nice splat. More and more walkers streamed out of the streets but it was nothing we couldn’t handle. We had made sure that there wasn’t a herd nearby before we had come to scavenge to the abandoned little town. We weren’t stupid after all.

Walkers might be easy to manage but herds were a real pain in the ass. Ruby and I were working on some tactics against them but so far only drawing them away with noise or a lot of fire had come up as sufficient solutions and we couldn’t burn down half the countryside. A flamethrower would be nice.

A laugh escaped Ruby’s lips and I grinned to myself, bashing two heads in with one swing. “You counting, Gimli?”

She snorted, “shut up, elf.”

She should have been the elf. She was quite a bit taller than me, but since she was my little sister, she ended up being the dwarf.

“You two should concentrate!”, our mother chided as we mowed our way through the walkers.

“That one has really nice shoes!”, Ruby said, ignoring our mother as always.

I glanced over to where Ruby was fighting and spotted some sandals with low heels on a walker. “I’ll try not to get any blood on them”, I swung my bat murderously.

“You’ll ruin them.”

I grinned devilishly, “oh I will!”

“I hate you, you know that, right?”

“Yes”, I laughed and continued killing. I nearly beheaded a particularly old walker with one swing and whistled.

Suddenly bullets flew through the air. Even more walker guts exploded everywhere. I took half a step back, but there was nowhere to go.

“Shit!”, our mother cursed and ducked. Not that it helped much. We were surrounded by open streets and dead walkers.

A few trucks rolled to a halt not far away and the rest of the walkers turned towards the noisy engines. I narrowed my eyes at the people. Roughly ten of them, armed with machine guns and other firearms jumped out of their vehicles and mowed down the last walkers. 

Combatively I raised my bat, fingers relaxed around the handle. If you got to stiff, you couldn’t swing it properly.

“Now that woman has the right idea in terms of weapons!”, a deep baritone voice called out. It belonged to a tall man holding a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire on his shoulder. The barbwire was a really good idea! He was tall, easily 1,90cm and on the leaner side, but his shoulders were just broad enough to let you know he was strong and dangerous. A cool leather jacket covered those rather nice shoulders. A red scarf sat around his neck, a pop of colour, reminiscent of blood. Black hair and a grey and black beard stubble perfected the villain look.

My sister sneered, but didn’t say a word as the man strode closer.

“Now ladies, you look way to unhappy for the fact that I just saved your pretty hides.” He had a nice voice but an odd way of speaking, as if he was in drama class.

“That’s because you didn’t”, my mother frowned at the man, who was towering over all of us, but that never stopped us. “We had everything under control.”

“To be quite frank”, I said, “you kind of ruined my fun.” To emphasize the statement, I bashed in the head of a walker that was still twitching. Blood and brain matter went flying over the street. 

“Eww, seriously, Autumn?”, Ruby took a step back and flicked some walker bits of her jacket. It really didn’t help considering she was pretty much covered in blood.

I shrugged.

Negan grinned, showing some very white teeth and very cute dimples. He pointed his bat at me, “Fuck, that’s the right attitude! I am Negan and this is Lucille.”

“Shit, now I feel kind of bad for not naming my guy here”, I looked at my bat. What was a good name for a bat? Batman? Batboy? “well, I am Autumn. That is my sister Ruby and my mother Nell.”

My mother glared daggers at Negan. Ruby sneered slightly.

Negan looked at me with pretty pale brown eyes, “and what are you lovely ladies doing here?”

Ruby scoffed.

Negan raised an eyebrow, “would be badass better?”

“It would be indeed”, Ruby said and gave Negan her best condescending look.

He only laughed, “oh I like you! You have fire in you and you look rather hot as well.” He wiggled is eyebrows.

If possible, Ruby looked even more disgusted and turned around with a sigh to get the shoes she had spotted earlier.

“Is she always that fucking grumpy?”, Negan asked grinning. Did he find everything funny?

“Yeah, she is”, I rested my bat at my side. Icecream came up behind us, fur mattered with blood, turning is pale brown Dobermann markings dark. “Oh, and that is Icecream.”

Negan laughed again, “Icecream? Are you fucking kidding me?”

I smiled at the sound of his laugh. It was a nice laugh. Deep and hearty. “Nope.”

Negan snorted with laughter, “well, that’s certainly something.” He chuckled, getting his breath back, “so what are you doing here?”

“Just taking a nice afternoon stroll”, Ruby crouched down next to the walker with the nice shoes, “what do you think?”

“Ruby”, our mother chided, “be nice.”

“What for?”, Ruby asked examining her new shoes, “who gives a fuck for manners in this world?”

“I do”, Negan’s voice turned cold, “and I give something on respect.”

Ruby turned around to him. Oh boy. “Well, I respect people who have earned it, not just because they go guns blazing with machine guns and come strutting around looking like the cover of a biker magazine.”

For a moment Negan looked like he might be angry then he grinned again, “you think I could have been the cover for a biker magazine?”

Ruby rolled her eyes so hard I half expected them to get stuck and her attention went back to the shoes.

“We are scavenging”, our mother tried to get the conversation back on track, “just like you I assume.”

“Indeed”, Negan said, “though I do have to care for far more people.”

“You have a group?”, I asked and Ruby raised her head in mild interest.

Negan gave another Oscar worthy grin, showing the cute dimples again. They ruined his villain look if you asked me. “I do indeed and I would love to have you join me. Especially you Autumn with that amazing taste in weapons, though I wouldn’t say no to your hot sister either.”

“Careful”, I said, “she might break your bones if you push her to far.”

Negan’s grin didn’t fade, “I like women with some spunk.”

I snorted hard, “I don’t mean to offend, but I think she has too much spunk for any man.”

Negan turned to look at me, “what do you mean? She doesn’t like men?”

“Sorry, buddy. She doesn’t.”

Negan looked actually sad. “Well, fuck and here I thought I could have another red head wife.”

“Another?”, Ruby echoed and then shook her head, “hell no!”

“What type of group are you running?”, our mother asked. At least she was not getting distracted. 

“The good kind”, Negan turned that dazzling smile on her, but it had no effect, “we have rules, we have food, we have running water, we have safety.”

“Sounds too good to be true”, Ruby was coming back with new shoes on her feet. They did look good on her, though I wasn’t sure about sandals and walker fighting. The thought of walker blood on my feet made me cringe. I didn’t even want to imagine all the other crap walkers lost when you bashed their heads in.

“It isn’t”, Negan smiled at her too, his charm wasted on her, “we call ourselves the Saviours.”

Ruby scoffed.

“And my place is called Sanctuary. Not far from here actually.”

In my mind I quickly jumped through all the groups I knew around. This many people and all the trucks? Could only be one place. “That old factory?”

Everybody turned to me in surprise.

“How do you know?”, Negan asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I scout a lot”, did he think I stalked his Facebook profile? “it’s not like I have much to do these days.”

“How do you know I live there?”, Negan’s hand around the grip of Lucille tightened. He was even wearing a leather glove. How fancy.

“I didn’t know it was you, but I saw a lot of people going in and out there.” Whenever we had enough food for a few days I travelled around the land, usually with a horse or two.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”, Ruby asked.

“I didn’t think you wanted to join a group”, I shot her a glance, “problem with authority and all.”

Ruby pursed her lips. She couldn’t argue with that.

“Well, ladies, what do you think?”, Negan asked mostly directed towards our mother. Despite the fact that I did most of the talking, she was the boss.

“What rules do you have?”, our mother asked and cleaned her blade with a rag.

Negan grinned, “you’ll like them: no rape, no abuse, no one goes hungry, well and most shit belongs to me, but for that I offer safety. You can either be a Saviour and to be quite fucking frank I see all of you in that rank or work for points and buy shit. Basic food is free as well as sleeping arrangements. Saviours don’t need points. They just take whatever they like and scavenge.”

“Executions? Cannibalism?”, my mother asked. Her tone was all business. 

“Executions yes, depending on how much the rules were broken. For example, rape I don’t fucking tolerate. Pretty much immediate death except if I feel like I have to make a fucking example out of someone and fuck no to cannibalism. What sick fucks have you encountered so far?”, Negan screwed his nose. Together with his dimples, his bad boy look was now totally ruined. 

I tried to hold back a grin.

My mother shrugged and sheathed her now clean sword, “how about the people that can’t work? Children?”

“Everybody can provide something. Old people usually teach the kids or babysit them. The kids get education. With sixteen they can start working or train to become a saviour”, Negan rubbed his beard, making the scratchy sound that always send a shiver down my back, “shit this feels like a job interview.” He gave a really charming smile, like even more charming than before. Butterflies awoke in my stomach and he wasn’t even looking at me, “how am I doing mama amazon?”

My mother’s lips twitched at the nickname, “not bad, provided you speak the truth.”

“Well, you can see for yourself, it’s only a truck ride away”, Negan motioned to the trucks with one arm.

My mother looked at me and then at Ruby. Was it worth the risk? The three, well four of us had a good thing going, but it was hard and we all could use a good rest.

“Do you have a doctor?”, mom asked.

“Mom, don’t”, Ruby said.

Negan looked to Ruby and then back to our mother, “are you sick?”

“Ruby has a wound that is infected”, our mother said.

“Sure, we have a doctor and free healthcare! Can’t have people dying, because people are a resource.” Negan was so overenthusiastic I wondered if he had mood swings.

My mother narrowed her eyes. Not really happy with the cold statement but she had a hard time disagreeing even though she wanted to. She nodded, “we’ll come.”

Negan grinned, “wonderful!”

“As long as pets are allowed”, I piped up. I’d rather run around here struggling everyday than leave my pets behind.

Negan attempted to throw an arm around my shoulder. I flinched and ducked away more out of instinct than anything else. He raised an eyebrow at that reaction, “twitchy much?”

I lifted a shoulder apologetically, “reflex.”

“Well, it’s kind of sad that, that is a reflex and yes, of course pets are allowed. You have any more than good old Icecream over there?”, Negan asked, dropping his arm. Something else now lingered in his eyes.

“Yes, I have two horses”, I said.

“Two?”, he looked at us, “why two?”

“My mother is allergic and I am basically the only one that rides them anyway. They carry stuff for us usually”, I kept a close look at Negan in case he wanted to touch me again. I wasn’t generally averse to touching but I needed to be prepared for any touchies.

“We don’t have a truck that can transport them. You’d have to ride to Sanctuary”, a grin crept onto his face, “and you know what I am going to come with you.”

Ruby looked ready to argue.

“Great”, I said. Spending some more time with mister handsome wouldn’t be too bad, “let’s get our stuff, I assume you want it?”

Negan smirked and leaned forward. I got a whiff of aftershave and shampoo that had me nearly close my eyes in bliss. I had always been a sucker for male scents. “You read my mind, darling.”

After 30 minutes we had all of our crap in the trucks and the horses were saddled next to our hideout in a suburban house with a nice garden.

“Are you sure about this?”, my mother whispered. We stood just far enough away from Negan and his men so we wouldn’t be overheard.

I squeezed her hand, “yes, I am sure about this. I can deal with one dude.”

She nodded and then drew me into a hug, “be careful.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’ll be right behind you, mom!”

“Still.”

I hugged her back, “fine. I’ll be careful.” I drew back and walked to the horses, “you’d think, that I wasn’t 27 years old.”

Negan chuckled, “I think it’s adorable.”

“Take Icecream with you”, my mother called after me.

“Sure”, I rolled my eyes once more and mounted my white mare, Shadowfax. Yes, Shadowfax was a boy in the books, but who gave a fuck?

Negan sat on Legolas, a palomino. I thought my naming conventions rather funny.

Ruby shot Negan half a death glare and then got into the truck with our mother. I gave a low whistle and Icecream hopped over to me. His tail wagged in excitement. He always loved to come with me when I rode somewhere.

“What was that glare for?”, Negan asked, looking after the trucks. Was he really that clueless?

“It was a warning not to try anything with me. As if I was the younger sister.” I might complain about Ruby but her protectiveness was really cute. I’d do the same for her in an instant.

“How old is your sister?”, Negan picked up the reins like someone who knew how to ride.

“21 and you keep your paws off her”, I pointed my bat at him and he grinned at the gesture.

“Don’t worry. That is to young, even for me”, we headed after the trucks at a relaxed walk. “Have you thought of a name yet for your bat?”

“Who is your bat named after?”, I asked instead of giving him an answer. His face darkened and I knew I had struck a nerve, “sorry. I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories. You don’t need to answer.”

My words seemed to soothe him and some tension left his shoulders, “she is named after my wife.”

His still lingering pain and grief hung in the air. _We need a subject change_. _Pronto_. “Well, I am thinking about another Lord of the rings related name.”

Negan raised an amused eyebrow, “I don’t know the books to well. The only names I remember are Gandalf and Sauron.”

“Well, they are rather important and having the bat named Sauron would be super badass but somehow a little cliché”, I mused out loud.

The trucks had long disappeared in the distance leaving only Negan and me with the horses, the clopping of their hooves the only sound. Much softer than you’d hear in modern days. They weren’t shoed.

“Why would it be cliché?”, Negan readjusted himself in the saddle.

“Well, Sauron is the big bad guy”, I explained, “don’t you know that?”

“As I said I only remembered the names”, Negan grinned, “I had better things to do than read fucking children’s books.”

“And let me guess those better things you had to do were fucking?”

Negan’s grin widened, “precisely. Please tell me you are into men.”

I chuckled, “I like both.”

He let out a breath, “yes! Your sister not liking men is a shame. She is beautiful.”

“I know right?”, I agreed, not jealous in the slightest. All men saw Ruby first. I was used to it and it wasn’t her fault, especially because she got so annoyed by it, “I always said she would be a model, though you know, now.” I motioned vaguely.

“Yeah”, Negan said, “What did you do before the world went to shit?”

“I was a vet tech”, I smiled at the memory, “to lazy to become a real vet.”

Negan chuckled, “lazy? You?”

I only grinned.

“And your mom?”

“What about my mom?”, I shot him a look. His eyes looked green in the sunlight.

“Does she like men?”

“She does, though you are not really her type.”

Negan sighed, “the women of your family are rather complicated, are they not?”

I laughed at that, “Oh Negan, you have no idea!”


	6. Tory I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is split up into at least two parts. Maybe three. Haven't quite finished editing everything yet. I love Tory's story. I always wanted to turn it into a full blown fic, but never managed. It's one of my favourite oneshots/ short stories. 
> 
> No warnings that I can think of. Let me know if you think I should add any.

The sun glared into my eyes as I stepped out of the house and I pushed down my sunglasses. The sun stood lower, usually I didn’t need the glasses for my morning run. Most of the time the sun wasn’t even up at 4am. Since I had just moved to the area and it was Sunday, I allowed myself a day off, not that it meant I didn’t have to go running. Even though my body still ached all over. A faint bruise showed on my neck. Only a few days ago I had finished the training to become a Navy Seal and my body was showing the hell I went through to reach it.

The new house was pretty small, but with a nice lawn in a docile suburban area. My eyes scanned the surroundings for threats automatically, but apart from my neighbour on the other side of the street watering the plants on his lawn there was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Good morning”, he greeted me and I focused on him once more.

He was tall with broad shoulders. It was obvious he made sure to stay in shape. Short black hair sat on his head and he had a stubbly black beard. He smiled at me charmingly, but I didn’t miss the ring on his finger.

“Good morning, Sir”, I said and walked towards the street, running shoes already on my feet and a knife hidden in the small of my back under the T-shirt. I always had a weapon with me, especially that knife. It had saved my life over there more than once.

“Please don’t ‘Sir’ me. I am not my grandfather.”

I nodded at him. Most people got uncomfortable when I addressed them with the curtness that soldiers had. “Yes, S.” I caught myself and my lips twitched.

His grin made his brown eyes sparkle in the sun, “you have been in the army for long, haven’t you?”

He stopped watering his plants and walked over, crossing the street, so we didn’t have to shout at each other.

I adjusted my stance slightly upon his approach. He walked with the confidence of a man who not only knew what his body could do but also who knew he was attractive.

“6 years”, I managed not to say sir again.

“Damn, you look way to young and pretty to have been in the army for that long”, he said with that charming smile of his.

“Looks can be deceiving”, I met his eyes. They had looked brown from the distance but now that he was this close, I realised that they leaned more towards green, not even hazel really.

“My name is Negan”, he held out his hand.

I took it, “Tory.”

“What a cute name.”

Did he ever stop smiling? “Thank you.”

“You take everything that serious?”, he asked, still smiling. It looked good on him, but I had the feeling that he thought everything was a game and that made me somewhat uncomfortable.

“Yes, S- fuck, Negan.”

He laughed. He had a rather nice laugh, “and here I thought you wouldn’t cuss. Nice.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Since when are soldiers known for their soft mouth?”

He was still chuckling, eyes alight with happiness, “you are damn right.” His eyes lingered on the bruise on my neck for a moment, “what happened there?”

“Training.”

“Looks like it was rough”, his eyes wandered over my body, half scrutinizing half suggestive, “are you going running?”

“Yes.” I refrained from shifting on my feet. He was to close for comfort, but stepping back would admit a weakness, not to mention that I couldn’t show him my paranoia. I was not good at playing the harmless game, after shooting people, almost dying in firefights and what not.

“Can I join you?”, he grinned at me winningly.

The question caught me of guard and my serious demeanour slipped for a moment, “you think you can keep up?”

His grin widened. He had adorable dimples. “Are you saying I look old?”

He was at least over forty, but that was not the problem I had, “no, but I am very well in shape.” 

He smirked, “don’t worry about me, dear.”

“Hurry up then, if you want to run with me today. On week days, when I am not on a mission, I run every morning at 4 am”, I told him, my voice firm.

“Perfect, I’ll be back in a few moments”, he turned around and jogged back to his house.

Half suspicious, half pleasantly surprised I watched him vanish inside his house.

My eyes scanned the dark street and bright bubbles of light from the lamps. Dawn hadn’t broken yet, but by the end of my round it would light the suburban streets. I wasn’t quite sure what to think about my new neighbours. Quite a few soldiers lived here, since the area was close to the barracks, but the civilians still dominated the area and it had me constantly on edge. I was taught to look out for threats and protect civilians if possible, so every time I stepped out of my house or went into it, I did a few routine sweeps. It would have been easier if I knew that my neighbours were trained just like I was.

Negan stepped out of the shadow of a tree when I walked over my lawn. He looked surprisingly awake for this time of day. Despite him saying that he would join me on my morning rounds I hadn’t expected him to be here. I never expected people to hold their word really, only if I knew them very well.

Before I could stop myself, my eyes wandered over his body. He was wearing a t-shirt showing some tattoos on his arm. One I recognised immediately, “you were in the army?”

Negan smirked at me, “good morning to you too, darling.”

I started running lightly and he fell in step beside me.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

“Are you always this brisk in the mornings?”

“I am always this brisk”, I shot him a look and kept from smiling so that I wouldn’t destroy my hardass image.

Negan chuckled, “yes, I was in the army. 8 years, I met my wife Lucille shortly after I left.”

“What did you do?”, I asked him, testing how well he could run and talk and Negan liked to talk. Liked the sound of his own voice. Not that I could blame him. He had an amazing voice.

“Seal Team.”

Surprised I stared at him. That made him quite a bit more dangerous than expected. “Damn.”

Negan grinned, “hot damn. I know. You wouldn’t believe how many girls that has drawn in before, though you don’t look like someone that would be overly impressed by it.”

Was he cheating on his wife or only bragging? I had no time for cheaters. They were usually cowards. I didn’t mind if you were polyamorous or in an open relationship, but you had to be honest in your relationships or shit didn’t work. “I am impressed that you were in the army that long. I didn’t take you for the type to take orders.”

Negan shrugged. It looked a little awkward while running. “I can take them, if I respect who gives them and the Seal Team guys, I fucking respect. You have that air around you as well.”

“Thank you”, it was a big compliment. To be a Seal in general showed that you were the best and Seal Team six meant you were the best of the best.

“Always so polite. Do you ever argue with people?”

“Of course”, I let my eyes wander over the suburban houses passing by us, “but usually I don’t bother, people are stupid.”

He laughed loudly and I couldn’t help but smile a little, “if that ain’t the fucking truth. And you have seen nothing before you haven’t had a teacher parent conference.”

“You are a teacher?”, I was surprised once more. I needed to work on my people reading skills.

“Yes, PE.”

I shot him a sideway glance. I guess I could see that.

“Surprised?”, Negan smirked. He had perfected the art of cocky grins, “Most people are. They have a hard time believing that I can keep my dirty mouth shut around the kids, but most of them can cuss just as bad as I do.”

I chuckled, “oh yeah, I remember my school years. We could make sailors blush.”

Both of us shut up as we increased the pace. Running and talking at the same time wasn’t the easiest. To my surprise Negan managed to keep up without much trouble. Sure, sweat glistened on his body and drenched his shirt when we approached our houses again but not once had he fallen behind and I had put up a brisk pace for 45 minutes.

“Damn woman”, he panted when we stopped to stretch after the run, “that was a good run.”

“Tired already, old man?”, I teased.

Negan looked at me, danger lurking in his eyes, “careful who you call old.”

I raised an eyebrow, almost smirking, “or what?”

Negan stepped closer, invading my personal space. “Or I will have to show you that I haven’t forgotten one thing from my training.”

I smirked properly now, “show me, old man. I am not afraid.”

Negan reached out to grab me, but I was out of his reach in an instant. He narrowed his eyes at me, “I know of a dojo close by, you up for a round?”

“I am done at 5pm, probably can be there at 6pm”, I said.

Negan nodded, “I’ll be there.”

I should not be as excited as I was about beating up my neighbour.

I entered the dojo in similar sport clothes to this morning. Long pants and a lose shirt. I wasn’t armed right now, but I had a weapon back in my locker. A knife, as usual. I didn’t like to have firearms lying around civilians though I had a carry permit.

Negan was already warming up at a punching bag and for a moment I allowed myself to watch him. I was surrounded by tall and fit men all day long at my job, but most of them lacked the wit and charm Negan had.

As if he had sensed me, Negan turned around and shot me his trade mark smile, “like what you see, love?”

I scoffed, “I am surrounded by the fittest men on earth all day long, I’ll pass.”

“Ouch”, Negan put a hand over his heart, “so you are Seal as well?”

“What makes you think that?”, I asked, and started warming up, throwing in a few combat rolls. Even before joining the army I had been interested in martial arts, much to the joy of my father, who was a police officer.

“Normal soldiers aren’t the fittest men on earth”, Negan pointed out and went back to punching.

“You are indeed correct, I am a Seal”, and damn proud of it, especially when bullies had told me all my life that nothing would become of me.

“I always liked badass women”, Negan grinned at me, “that is so sexy.”

“What does your wife work as?”, I asked him and his eyes sparked. He got the hint.

“She is a kindergarten teacher”, Negan said, his voice full of love and I smiled softly.

“Cute a High School teacher and a kindergarten teacher, don’t you make the perfect couple.”

“Now you are just messing with me.”

I sniggered, “what was that about badass women?”

Negan smirked back. Had he ever made a woman physically swoon? “I still like them and dealing with a bunch of children is pretty impressive, don’t you think?”

“Dealing with a bunch of horny, brainless dudes just as much”, I quipped.

Negan laughed, “that bad huh?”

“I am used to it. Nothing much has changed over the course of my life.” Especially not when you joined the army and looked like I did, with curves and nice breasts and an amazing butt that only benefitted from all the sports I did. The strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes only added to the appearance. I had gotten shit for my looks forever, so I was used to all of it.

“Damn that sounds depressing”, Negan said and I caught the question in his eyes.

I shook my head, telling him I didn’t want to talk about it and walked towards the mats, “you up for this or what?”

Negan’s smirk returned immediately, “hell yes, I am.”

Both of us stepped into the ring, gumshield in our mouths, but apart from that we wore no protective gear. I met Negan’s gaze for a moment as we circled around each other before attacking with a strong kick towards his head.

He cursed and dodged, batting my leg to the side, what he hadn’t expected was the second leg to follow. I hit him square in the chest and he landed flat on his ass, breath driven out of him.

I didn’t say anything but the look I gave him was enough to light ambition in his eyes.

He got back up on his feet and attacked straight away with a strong punch. I blocked him and tried to get him in a lock joint but he was never where I expected him to be.

His training and physical strength really showed when we sparred like this. He was not only in shape but had kept to combat training as well, though I still managed to beat him, more than once.

With a grunt he landed on his back. Sweat ran down his face and a bruise formed on the right side of it. He hadn’t managed to land a hit in my face, but my rips ached.

He patted out and I stepped back, letting him get up. He took a deep breath and removed his gumshield. “Damn girl, you hit hard.”

I popped out my gumshield as well. “What do you think I do all day long? Just sit around and look pretty?”

Negan shrugged, “you would have made a great model.”

I rolled my eyes and walked over to my water bottle. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You look really hot like this”, Negan followed me over.

Even without the warmth at my back, I would have known from the sound alone that he was much closer than he should be. Water bottle in hand I turned around and narrowed my eyes at him, not sure if I should tell him to back off or not. The memory of his strong arms pinning me to the fighting mats was still vivid in my mind. He hadn’t managed to keep me down, but that didn’t make the feeling any less exciting.

As if he had caught the moment of weakness Negan leaned forward, eyes transfixed on mine. The door to the dojo opened and I took a step back, focusing on my water bottle once more. This man was married! And while he might not mind cheating I certainly did. Well, I minded lying.

“We should repeat this sometimes”, Negan said, after he had emptied his water bottle in one go.

I swallowed a mouthful of water, “definitely. It’s nice to fight someone that isn’t in the army anymore. You have different techniques, that they don’t use as frequently.”

Negan smiled, the look in his eyes more suggestive than it should be, “I am always happy to help.”

I shook my head at the tone of his voice but didn’t fight the smile creeping onto my face.

I hummed to myself as I changed the tires on my car. Autumn slowly turned to winter, so the snow tires had to be put on and I never bothered to go to a workshop for it. I hadn’t even learned it at the army but I had stolen and taken apart more than one car when I was younger, without my dad ever finding out.

“Do you need help?”, a hand slapped down on the hood of the car.

My hand went to my gun and I had pointed it at the person without even having a conscious thought in my brain. I glared against the bright light. “Fuck, Negan!” I lowered the gun.

His eyes sparkled with laughter, “you are getting careless, though since you were ready to blow my brains out possibly not.”

I shook my head. He looked totally unfazed. As if it happened every day that your neighbour pointed a gun at you. I holstered the gun again, “do I look like I need help?”

“Do you want to change all the tires on your own?”, he leaned sideways against my car. I didn’t miss how some of the muscles played on his arms. He was only wearing a shirt, despite the cool autumn breeze.

I looked up at him with half a frown, “I guess you can do the next tire. Don’t you have to do it with your own car?”

“I already did them last weekend.”

I returned to my work, turning my back on him, but all my senses continued to be on alert. 

“You don’t meet many women that can change the tires of their car.”

“I know a lot of things that normal women don’t”, I said, arms straining as I removed another screw.

“Oh, I bet you do.” Negan’s voice made you think of ruffled sheets and naked skin. There was an actor lost on this guy.

“Like breaking people’s bones, without it looking like I can”, I shot him a look but Negan only grinned down at me. It got harder every day to imagine him as a soldier with that jovial attitude of his.

“That is fucking cool, you know, that right?”, he said, as if I hadn’t threatened him with violence.

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t miss how that became a habit around Negan. He was like an overexcited dog. I removed the tire and moved to get the new one but Negan held it out to me.

“Thanks”, I put the tire on and moved to screw it tight again.

“No problem. I hadn’t quite realised how fucking hot it is to watch a woman change her tires all dirty and stuff.”

“You find everything hot, Negan”, I said dryly.

“Not everything”, he argued, “but maybe everything you do.”

I didn’t even bother to react, focusing on the tire instead. Negan’s attention was flattering and butterflies had started to flutter in my belly in our most recent meetings. However, before I could get to excited, I reminded myself that he was cheating on his wife and that usually killed all the butterflies pretty quickly.

“Even ignoring me is hot”, Negan joked.

I threw a screwdriver in his direction.

He laughed and the screwdriver clattered harmlessly on the driveway. At the sound of his laughter I had to smile against my will.

“You missed!”

“If I had wanted to hit you, I would have, but I don’t want to end up in jail just yet”, I looked at him and let a little bit of the light drain out of my eyes, “and if I want you dead your body will never be found.”

Negan stopped and knelt down so that he was on eye level with me, “fuck me, that are the eyes of a killer.” And he dropped his own mask. He had the same empty stare as I had, maybe even a bit more removed. “Aren’t we a jolly team?”

“Is there nothing that scares you?”

His eyes darkened, leaning more towards brown now, “there are a great many things that scare me but death isn’t one of them.”

“Fair enough”, I stood up, “you can get to work if you want. I’ll get something to drink, do you want a beer?”

“Nah, just water”, Negan took down the automobile jack and placed it under the back of the car to change the tire. I found myself watching the muscles in his arms move before I quickly left to get the drinks. I shouldn’t give him any ideas when I didn’t plan to follow up on them.

I left the house with two water bottles and nearly bumped into a small Asian woman. She had very long and beautiful black hair with soft doe eyes. She looked like she wouldn’t be able to hurt a fly.

“Hello”, I said and put my civilian face on. It was more open than the cold and concentrated soldier, “can I help you, Ma’am?”

She looked almost shy, “yes, uhm hello. Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen my husband, Negan?”

I blinked. Shit that was Lucille?! It was strange how I had lived here for a month now and never seen her but she was usually at home when I got back and I left before ever seeing her. “Uh yeah, he is changing the tires on my car. Come on”, I waved her to follow me and walked around to the side of my house where Negan changed the tire.

“Negan, you have a visitor”, I said and handed him the water bottle as he got up eyes fixed on his wife.

“Damn, darling. What are you doing here? Did something happen?”, he approached her and I turned away, drinking from my water bottle.

Lucille said something to low for me to hear and they disappeared to the front of the house. Lucille’s dark eyes had been serious. I really hoped it wasn’t something bad.

I had finished changing the tire Negan started when he came back.

“Did something happen?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s okay.” Negan tried to sound casual and failed.

“You don’t have to come back”, I met his gaze, “I can change the rest of my tires on my own.”

Negan hesitated, clearly torn between being with his wife and helping me.

I got up and put a hand on his lower arm, “go to her, Negan. It’s okay.”

His shoulders sagged, “thanks, Tory. I owe you one.”

I smiled. It was the first time he had called me Tory since our first meeting really. “You don’t owe me one, now bugger off.”

Negan shot me a smile that would melt most women on the spot and quickly walked over to his house. I smiled to myself. That is what a husband should do. Be with his wife when she needed him.

The first frost of the year covered the world outside. It would certainly make running interesting. I stepped away from the kitchen window and allowed myself to wince at the pain in my ankle. Mitch had stepped on it in training and damn that had fucking hurt. It wasn’t puffy anymore but still hurt with every step. Despite that I put on my running shoes and stepped out.

Negan wasn’t there yet, though I trusted he’d show up. Otherwise he would have told me. Or he was just a pussy and didn’t like cold weather.

I nearly sniggered at the thought and started to do some careful stretching exercises. My ankle hurt every time I moved it. Damn that sucked. I’d fucking punch Mitch in the face when I saw him today.

A door fell shut and light went on. I looked up to see Negan coming my way. He wore knee long shorts but a light sweater. It was an odd combination especially for the cold air but I wasn’t going to ask him.

Negan furrowed his brows, “since when are we stretching before a run?”

“We aren’t, I just didn’t want to freeze my ass of waiting for you”, I rose from a stretching position and hid the pain in my ankle.

Negan huffed and his breath billowed white in the air, “I am not late.”

“You are on time.”

“And you are always to early.”

“Correct, Sir”, I said just to annoy him.

He huffed again. He did that a lot when I teased him. He started running, without another word in my direction. I nearly sniggered at his back and fell in step beside him. Every step sent jolts of pain up my ankle but I ignored them.

“Do you have plans for Christmas?”, Negan asked. We always talked in the beginning of our runs.

“Not really.”

“No family?”

My mind wandered to my dad and little brother. I hadn’t seen them in quite a while. As soon as I had grown up the wife of my dad had effectively cut me out of their lives. “I’m not on good terms with them.”

Negan was quiet for a second, “please don’t tell me you are one of those people who spends Christmas alone?”

“No, I have friends, Negan”, I shot him a look, “also there is nothing wrong with spending Christmas on your own. Stop judging.”

“I never said there was anything wrong with it”, Negan defended, “I just think it’s sad. Everyone should have someone on Christmas.”

He was probably right. “Don’t worry, I have friends.”

“If you want to come over you can.”

“Thanks”, warmth flooded my system and it had nothing to do with the running.

We fell quiet and increased our pace. My ankle continued hurting and sweat gathered on my brow sooner than usual. Oh great, that was really the last thing I needed.

“You are limping”, Negan commented towards the end of the run.

“I know”, I panted. My teeth clenched.

Negan stopped running. I kept going for a few more paces until I noticed he wasn’t with me. I stopped as well and tried to hide the relief when my ankle didn’t protest for a second.

Worry etched lines into Negan’s face, “what happened?”

“Training.”

“And you still went running?”, he walked over to me, “you need to look out for yourself, Tory. You can’t just ignore and risk your body like that.”

“I am fine”, I argued. Also, he used my name, meaning he was actually serious.

“Is that why you are glistening like the frosted grass while I am barely sweating?”, Negan asked in his teacher voice.

I nearly growled at him.

“Come on”, he waved and walked forward, “let me take a look at that ankle.”

I stared at his back and then caught up, “are you doctor now or what?”

“No, but there are a lot of twisted ankles as a PE teacher”, Negan said, “you have a first aid kit?”

What a question. “Of course.”

“Your place it is then.”

I sighed under my breath. Apparently, Negan had a protective streak. I should have known.

I unlocked the door to my house and we walked into the kitchen. The first aid kit was under the kitchen counter. At least one of my first aid kits. I had them strewn around the house just like weapons hidden under and in cabinets.

Negan caught the gun taped to the underside of the kitchen counter but didn’t comment. Instead he just got the First aid kit and said, “sit.”

I plopped my ass down on a chair. He pulled a second chair over and sat down himself then he picked up my sweaty foot. Eww. I wasn’t queasy but sweaty feet were something else.

He pulled down the sock like I was a damn baby and whistled. “Damn, Tory!”

The whole ankle was a deep purple.

“Why didn’t you say something?”, he looked up, “you should have taken a break.”

“I am fine.”

Negan looked about ready to cuff me over the head. Instead he reached for the first aid kit and got some salve. The salve wasn’t in most first aid kit, but I modified mine. Just in case I got into a firefight in my house, I guess.

Negan put the salve all over my ankle, “no more running for you until further notice.”

I rolled my eyes, “yes, Doc.”

“I mean it!”

Damn he was hot when he was strict like that. I bet the girls really liked having PE with him.

“Why are you smiling at me?”

“You are cute when you are the teacher.”

Negan scowled, “I am not cute.”

He got bandages and wrapped them around my ankle to stabilize it a little, “tell your guys you have to take a break. I mean it Tory.”

“Yes, Negan.”

“I’ll know if you don’t!”

He was really worried. Someone save my heart. I leaned forward and brushed over his cheek. His stubbly beard scratched over the palm of my hand, “I’ll take care of myself.”

Negan relaxed into the touch, his green eyes incredibly soft, “you better.”

I dropped my hand. “Are you done?” I asked and the moment was gone, “I have to get going.”

Negan nodded and took his hands away from my foot. He stood up, “let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do. Thanks, Negan.”

I had been doing thinks on my own for so long, it was strange for me to have a friend nearby to care for me like this. It woke so many soft, fuzzy feelings in my chest.

Happy Christmas lights shone into the living room through the windows. The whole street was decorated in a lot of holiday stuff. So many reindeer and Santas. We didn’t even need the street lamps anymore. It looked like a circus. My house was one of the darker ones, though even I had some decoration out front just. I didn’t want my house to look grumpy. I wasn’t the grinch after all.

The holiday spirit was high and I sat in my living room folding and packing gear for a mission. Knives were spread out all over the couch. I hadn’t quite decided which I’d take just yet. There were a few guns here too. Of course, we’d be issued our own guns at the base, but I liked to have my own as back up. You never knew what happened when on a mission.

I had an audiobook on. My uniform was perfectly folded on a stack to the right. Next to it some civilian clothes. We packed tight and not very much. This mission would be intense.

It knocked on the door. I stopped mid movement of folding a knife into my set of clothes. Some knives and daggers always accompanied me. Those were easy to pack.

Who’d came by this late in the evening? Tomorrow was Christmas. Most people spent the night with their family.

With a gun stuffed into the back of my pants I stood up and walked towards the door.

“Tory?”, Negan called through the wood.

I opened the door, hand already dropped from the gun hidden out of view. “Negan, what are you doing here?”

Negan held up a box you usually carried food in, “Lucille made some stuff and wanted to give some to you.”

“Lucille? And why are you bringing it over?”

“Because she doesn’t like the cold”, Negan smiled somewhere between winning and innocent, “may I come in?”

I stepped back and opened the door further.

He waltzed into my house, but made sure to leave his shoes at the door as to not spread snow everywhere. He walked into the kitchen to place the food down and saw all the organized chaos in the living room. “Are you leaving?”

“I am going on a mission tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!”, Negan turned to look at me, “tomorrow is Christmas!”

“I don’t make the rules Negan”, I opened the box. Damn that smelled heavenly. Some meat, some potato dish, some cake for dessert. And enough for two.

“You are staying I assume?”, motioning to the two portions.

Negan grinned, “I am indeed. Dishes?”

I walked around and got plates and cutlery. Instead of eating in the kitchen though I put it on the dining table. The dining room was open to both the kitchen and the living room.

Negan’s eyes wandered over the collection of knives and other stuff I thought to pack. “Damn girl, you have a thing for blades!”

“They never run out of ammo”, I said with a wicked smile.

“Fuck me, you can be so hot.”

I rolled my eyes and sat down.

Negan plopped down opposite me, “so what happened to: I am not going to be alone on Christmas?”

“The missions happened. My friends are all seals so all of us are home packing”, I shrugged. I didn’t mind. Since I went to work tomorrow it didn’t feel like a holiday.

“Somehow having to work on Christmas morning is even sadder than spending it alone”, Negan mused and dug into the food.

It wasn’t delicious, it tasted outright heavenly. I moaned a little, “damn Lucille can cook.”

Negan grinned, it was full of love and pride, “I know. She is amazing.”

We chatted through the food and some part of me lit up and relaxed. It might not feel like a holiday but things could still feel kind of tense before a mission. It was hard to be tense when Negan was around. He had a way of lighting up a room and making you laugh. Or at least me.

“Right”, Negan said when we were finished for a while now, “as nice as the company is. I have to go. I promised to watch one of her favourite series with Lucille.”

“Please don’t let me stop you”, both of us rose and walked over to the door, “thanks for dropping by Negan. It means a lot.”

At the door Negan turned around to me, there was an almost pained expression in his eyes. He drew me into a hug. I stiffened for a second before I allowed myself to sink into his strength. His smell of smoke and cedar. “Please be careful, Tory.”

I took another deep breath, “don’t worry. I am always careful.” I stepped back from the hug first otherwise I’d be tempted to stay in it forever.

Negan looked like he wanted to say more, instead he smiled and said, “give them hell, girl.”

I smirked, “always.”

He left and I closed the door behind him. Suddenly the house felt empty. My life felt empty. I knew missions were dangerous. I knew I could die on every single one of them but somehow the tone in Negan’s voice made me feel much more fragile than I ever had before. Fuck.


	7. Tory II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Some zombie guts and zombie death. Also mentioned loss of family. 
> 
> Took a little longer to update. Mainly because these scenes weren't in the original one shot I had prepared and took some more editing. Also life.

My scar twinged softly as I snuck through the undergrowth. The NVD lit the night in vague green light. Ian wasn’t far off. His steeps barely audible. He had grown up hunting deer in the countryside.

“Something doesn’t feel right”, Mitch whispered through the comms.

“Keep your eyes open”, Ian responded.

“I’d rather not keep my nose open”, Georgetta murmured.

The forest smelled as if someone had dropped a truckload of rotting corpses. With the weirdest news of a virus and zombie shit I really didn’t want it to be true. The problem was we wouldn’t have been sent here if it wasn’t. We were recon but also attack.

The trees loomed in the night. Even with the NVDs the night had something foreboding about it and the smell certainly didn’t help. Not even an owl hooted.

A cabin appeared in between the trees. No light inside, but that didn’t have to mean anything.

“Strawberry, take your three and go towards the back”, Ian ordered.

“Copy that”, I said and motioned for my three to follow me. Mission meant codenames. And because of my hair, I suffered the name Strawberry. At least Ian wasn’t eagle.

Jay, Leo and Georgetta followed me. The leaves barely whispered under their boots. We arched around the side, making sure not to step out of the forest. No sound came from the cabin and the forest remained dead as a grave. Wrong thought.

“We are at the back door”, I said into the comms.

“We are going in”, Ian said.

I could hear wood splinter answered by groaning. The kind of groaning you just knew from horror zombie movies.

“Fuck me”, I growled and kicked the back-door in. I wasn’t even sure what exactly came my way but I fired fast and quick. First in the chest and when nothing happened into the head. The thing went down. Black blood splattered all over the wall.

“Fucking shit”, Leo cursed.

Jay and Georgetta secured our backs.

The gunshots echoed loudly through the night. To loud if you asked me. All the alarms went off in my head. Everything went quiet once more until twigs snapped in the woods. Lots of twigs.

“Movement in the forest”, Jay said.

Why did I have to be right? My guts could be wrong from time to time.

“Aim for the head”, I ordered.

“I feel like I am in a fucking video game”, Leo said.

We advanced further into the house. Four more zombies came our way. Ian and his team took care of the rest. He tested the lights. It still worked and we took off the NVDs.

“What the fuck are those?”, Leo breathed.

It wasn’t easy to shock a seal. Even my stomach was queasy. Those things looked like actual zombies. And how the fuck did no one ever complain about the smell in movies? They smelled far worse than rotting corpses. Especially up close.

Ian’s face was hard. He didn’t even allow himself to twitch. Instead he got a camera and started taking pictures.

“Don’t touch them”, he said.

Jay, Georgetta and Ian’s back up Michael and Mitch still fired into the night.

“How many are there?” Zeke peeked out of the windows. In the same moment the gunshots stopped.

“Are you alright?”, Ian asked.

“Backdoor secured”, Georgetta said. “No wounded.”

“Front door secured”, Michael said. “No wounded.”

All the zombies looked vaguely the same. Grey skin hung off skinny frames. They looked frail but I doubted they were. If the clothes were anything to go by some teenagers had hidden up here. Maybe college students.

“Right, we are done”, Ian said. “I’ll call base. They’ll send disease control.”

We stepped out onto the porch. The smell in the cabin was way worse than outside even with the dead zombies littering the edge of the clearing. I took a shallow breath. I wanted too take a deep breath but if I took one more mouthful or rotting corpse pelting my tongue I’d throw up. The last time I had thrown up on a mission was years ago. I didn’t want to ruin my streak.

“Where did all of them even come from?”, Leo asked.

My eyes got stuck on the badge of a sheriff.

“Cover me”, I said and walked over there. My knees bent and keeping low.

Rifles went up behind me and Leo stuck to my shoulder.

I crouched down and turned the zombie over with a stick. “Shit.”

“What?” Leo’s control frayed at the edges and pitched his voice.

All the blood drained from my face.

“Strawberry?”

“That’s the sheriff from the town we drove through on the way here.”

“What?!” Leo turned to take a look to. He whirled around and threw up.

I grimaced and took a few steps back. My stomach heaved like a stormy sea, but I couldn’t allow myself to throw up. I pinched the bridge of my nose and kept an eye on the surroundings while Leo emptied the contents of his stomach. We jogged back to Ian, in a hurry to get away from those things.

“I can’t reach base”, Ian said.

“That back there is the sheriff of the little town we drove through.” I pointed towards the corpse.

Ian’s face paled enough to be seen under the camouflage make-up. Usually nothing shook him. “Shit.”

Shit about covered it. I wanted to let lose a string of curses, but kept it to myself. All of us had seen enough apocalypse movies to know what this meant, especially if he couldn’t reach base.

“Back to the trucks”, Ian said. “Keep eyes and ears open. We’ll head back to base on our own and check the town on the way there. Take anything of the canned food you think we might need.”

We took the building apart. Everything that wasn’t nailed down got moved to find the little last hiding place. We got the weapon of the sheriff and made our way back to the trucks. Some more zombies lingered around in the woods. Possibly drawn in by the noise, but got stuck on some other stuff.

My stomach churned. If the little town had been completely turned, the base had fallen… home. What about Negan? 

The military trucks roared through the empty city. Buildings smoked in the distance. On occasion a thunderous sound could be heard when a skyscraper fell. Home had been hit hard. Home didn’t exist anymore.

Smoke, dirt and some other less favourable substance covered our faces. The team was solemn.

“We check the hospital. Pick up any straggles that get drawn in by the noise and keep going”, Ian ordered.

Base had been overrun. Only a few had made it. Those smart enough to lock themselves in or found safety on the rooftops. We had taken the whole base apart in an effort to find anyone that might have survived. The place was a zombie graveyard now and burning brightly. I tried not to think too hard about everyone that had died. I couldn’t. I’d dissolve into a bubbling mess and that was the last thing we needed.

The convoy halted on the parking lot of the hospital. It didn’t look like much but would be better than nothing.

We turned the engines off and hopped out of the cars. Ian gave the orders. No one minded following. Most of the soldiers were just glad we were here. Having a seal team around had reduced some of them into relieved tears.

“You stay with the vehicles”- Ian pointed at the soldiers in question- “Make sure to have a round about vision. I don’t want anybody to sneak up on us. No lethal shots apart for the zombies. You with us.”

We walked in battle formation into the hospital. There were quite a few stray zombies. We cleared the floors one by one from zombies and medicine.

Roughly an hour later we had medical supplies and a nurse with us who had been locked in. We cleared her for bites and took her back out. She hadn’t stopped crying yet. I didn’t dare to ask for any survivors. This hospital had been the one where Negan’s wife was treated for cancer. I didn’t even want to think about my father or brother. All my other friends who were unaccounted for.

Five more people had come to the convoy and were currently being checked thoroughly for bites. The last thing we needed was someone turning into a zombie in the middle of driving.

My eyes fell onto a little girl clutching a dirty plushie to her chest. Cinder covered her face only interrupted by tear trails.

Leo rubbed over his beard. His eyes haunted. He took a deep breath and walked over to the little girl. “Hey there sugarbun.”

My heart ached. Leo had a family. Of course, we had checked. Not even Ian had managed to keep away from home. They were empty. All of them. No sign of our loved ones.

“Did you lose your parents?” Leo’s voice cracked.

The little girl nodded.

“Come here.” Leo drowned her in a bear hug. “You are safe now.”

I swallowed hard but a tear still escaped my eyes. “Fuck.” I turned around to get my composure back. I didn’t have time to cry yet.

“Let’s get going”, Ian shouted.

All the civilians were cleared of bites.

A lot of hustle and bustle started. Ian aimed for the countryside down south. Less people meant less zombies and the south was warmish.

The night was calm and with the crickets chirping in the high grass almost peaceful. If I listened closely, I could hear our cows and horses chomp away on the hay in the stable. The new world wasn’t safe enough to keep your animals out of the barn in the night.

Light flashed on the dirt road in the distance. I had lost count of how many times the idiots driving had flashed with the lights. Light drew zombies just as much as noise did. Well maybe not quite as much but very close.

“People approaching”, Leo said through the comms. He laid on the roof his sniper rifle ready.

I sat on the porch of the farmhouse we had claimed a while back. Usually I preferred a rocking chair but I’d have fallen asleep in an instant and that wouldn’t do.

“Are they through the gates yet?”, I asked. In the same moment the clanking of the metal chains being cut echoed through the darkness. “Assholes, that was a good chain.”

“We can fix it.” Ian stepped out onto the porch. Just like me he was in full combat gear.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” I peeked up at him. A scar covered his cheek now. More visible since he had shaved.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Ian’s eyes fixed on the headlights of the cars coming up the driveway. He had his machine gun in hand.

“Is Kendra asleep?”

“Like a baby.”

I couldn’t even put into words how happy I was that he had found someone again. This world shouldn’t be braved alone.

Above Leo unpacked his sniper rifle. The soft clicking only recognisable for someone who knew guns. Georgetta moved behind the parked military trucks. Perfect cover.

Mitch and Mikael were in the fields. Jay was up with Leo on the roof. We had another sniper, Rory on the barn roof. He was from another seal team. I wasn’t surprised many seals and specials ops survived. Our base had much more military than civilians at this point.

The first car hit the barbwire. Tires exploded and the car fell into the designated ditch. Breaks screeched. Yeah, they should have fucking knocked. We wouldn’t have messed up their tires. They could be glad we didn’t have landmines on the road up here.

Ian smirked and walked down from the porch. We had been aware of the group scouting out our farm for a while now. If they hadn’t come at night, we would have been much friendlier but no one in this world made a friendly house call at night.

“Drop it.” Ian had his gun pointed at the first guy coming out of a car with a shotgun.

I was at Ian’s shoulder, my own gun pointed.

Georgetta and her group of soldiers made their guns click. The field positions didn’t give themselves away.

“You are surrounded”, Ian said. His voice brokered no argument. Curt. Hard. Military. “We have snipers on the roof. Drop it.”

“Fuck!” A man cursed in the ditch and climbed out of it. The voice was oddly familiar. Then he leaned back over the edge and someone held a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire out to him. He took it and stood up.

I only saw a dust covered leatherjacket. It was a nice back. Then the man turned around. I nearly lowered my gun. Nearly. “Negan?”

Negan blinked at me. “Fucking hell, Tory?”

He took a step forward and then decided otherwise when behind me some more guns were revealed.

Negan hadn’t changed much. His beard had greyed more, the hair was a little longer but otherwise he looked just like back in the day. The red scarf over his black leather jacket certainly added some dramatic flair.

“Would you mind?”, Negan asked waving at my guys and the guns we pointed at them with deadly accuracy.

“Yes, I would mind.” We might have been friends once but the apocalypse changed people and not for the better. “What are you doing here?”

“We wanted to say hello”, Negan smiled winningly. It was that smile. My stomach tightened. Negan nodded at Ian, “hey there, Ian.”

Ian scowled, “hello. I want your people to drop their guns or we are going to open fire.”

Negan waved his hands. “Please guys. These are professionals.”

Negan’s goons lowered their guns. Some went to help the others climb out of the ditch. Negan scratched his beard. “You guys are well organized. Well, I won’t lie. We came here to intimidate whoever lives here to work for us.”

“Work for you?”, Ian asked.

“They give us half of their shit and we protect them”, Negan smiled as if he was a brilliant motherfucker. “But you guys certainly don’t need that. How about we all sit down for a coffee and some talks? We have a lot to catch up on.”

Negan’s eyes lingered on me. I wanted to hug him so bad.

“Only if we can check your guns and vehicles”, Ian said. He wasn’t about to let down his guard.

Negan sighed, “fine.”

His guys looked surprised.

The whole square lit up as Georgetta turned the flood lights on. Negan flinched when the guys came out of the fields. We searched and disarmed everyone and put them where they could be seen and guarded. The had the numbers, but it was obvious all of them had been civilians in their previous lives.

Negan, Ian and I went onto the porch.

Negan looked at me. “You look good.”

I smiled. It felt surprisingly real to my own face. Something inside of me uncurled because Negan was just like Negan. Hitting on women he liked. “Of course, that would be the first thing you say.”

Negan grinned. How I had missed that grin. Easy going, wide, toothy. Just him full of fun and mischief. I had no idea how he had managed to keep that grin with all the shit going on. “I do have a good eye.”

I snorted but the smile remained. “It’s good to see you again, Negan.”

“Fuck me. It’s good to fucking see you again”, Negan said, he leaned the baseball bat against the railing. “Mind if I fucking hug you?”

“Not at all.” Quite the opposite really.

Negan smelled like Negan and it took everything I had not to burst into tears.

Negan shuddered a little too. We stepped back from each other. “Now we can talk business.”

Business ended up with us being more or less an outpost for the saviours. We had food, they had a lot of ammo. Both of us had people with skills the others could use. Exchange went in both directions. Negan wasn’t stupid enough to try and pressure us into anything. We maybe had only half of his in numbers but double the skill.


	8. Tory III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the third and last part of Tory's story. She is really one of my fav OCs. 
> 
> Warnings: Mention of chosen family death/ character death; Language warning for Negan but that goes without saying really. Also warning for people that like Rick, there is some Rick bashing in this one.

Rune cantered through the night. The dark bay mare did not slip once. The wind whistled past us and brought the scent of walkers rotting somewhere. Undead or properly dead, these guys always smelled worse than normal rotting corpses. Normal rotting corpses! I had actually thought that!

I screwed my nose at the smell. One would think that after all this time I had gotten used to it, especially since we had the fences of The Sanctuary guarded by walkers, but sometimes the stench felt just as bad as the first time I had smelt it.

My breath billowed in the cold night air and I was glad for the leather jacket to keep me warm as I headed towards Negan. He was making a show tonight. For the past few days, a great deal of Saviours had been busy working and blocking the way to Hilltop to make sure that the people that had crossed us -Alexandrians as far as I was aware- could be taught a lesson. Knowing Negan, the plan had worked perfectly. He was too smart for his own good.

That had left me to deal with a lieutenant who had messed up properly. I had wanted to wait for Negan to come back, but the dude was causing a mess and I needed for Negan to know before he returned. He needed to be on top of things or things could blow up in his face. Not many people dared to oppose Negan like he had and he currently was in a cell, but he had caused whispers of rebellion that Negan needed to be aware of.

The headlights of the saviour’s cars lit the night far beyond the borders of the clearing they stood on. Much further than expected. A gust of wind carried away the stench of walker and I took a deep breath. In the beginning I had carried around mint with me, but not for a long time now.

I slowed Rune into a trot, I didn’t want to appear too hasty. I needed to appear in control, mainly for the people Negan needed to intimidate. All of the saviours knew better than to mess with me. I could put them all down without breaking a sweat. Negan was lucky to have me on his side really.

Negan had the Alexandrians on his knees in a row. One of them, a woman with short hair looked about ready to keel over, with the hint of a fever in her eyes. She must be the reason why they were headed for Hilltop, to see the doctor.

Everybody looked up at the sound of hoof beats and I nodded at Simon, before I launched myself of Rune and quickly knelt in front of Negan. I got up smoothly, my face didn’t betray anything but casualness.

Negan grinned at me, though he knew that me being here was not for any good reason. Despite the dire circumstance his grin made my stomach summersault. His effect was never lost on me. “Tory, love what brings you here?” he sauntered over to me, Lucille swinging at his side.

“Just some things I need you to know”, I said as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Negan kept his smile and leaned forward, intruding in my personal space. He was the only one allowed to do that. Smiling, I leaned against him and he wrapped and arm around my waist. “What is it, love?”

I quickly whispered the news in his ear, before my lips brushed his for a second. Negan didn’t let the kiss stay that chaste. His eyes burned with anger over the crap Ron had pulled back at Sanctuary, but Negan was always hotter when he was angry. I moaned softly into the kiss before we both broke it to get up for air.

Negan smirked, “I missed you to, but you can’t always distract me when I am working.”

I scoffed and grinned back at him before I looked over the Alexandrians, most of them shivering with cold and fear. I was just about to say something when the words got stuck in my throat as my eyes landed on the man in the middle of them. He was wearing a thick jacket with fur trim and his bright blue eyes -the same as mine- stared back at me as if he had seen a ghost. I felt all the blood drain from my face and I took a step back, bumping into Negan, drawing strength from his presence.

“Tory?”, Negan asked and looked at me. “Do you know one of them?”

“Shit”, I cursed softly and stepped closer. “Dad?”

My dad looked at me, hurt, fear and something else battling in his eyes. “Tory” -He looked between Negan and me- “what?”

“Fuck, that’s your dad?”, Negan asked, “the fucking asshole that never fucking showed up in your life, once you were old enough to fucking live it on your fucking own?” Negan stepped closer and before I could say anything, he punched my dad hard enough for him to fall over.

I wasn’t even sure if I should stop him or not and then my eyes found Carl. He had lost an eye and stared at me angrily. I turned to Negan, when he turned his back on my dad. “Are you going to kill them?” My voice was numb. The total opposite of the emotions roaring through my head.

“Not all of them, no”, Negan said, meeting my gaze. “But I am going to beat the fucking crap out of a couple of them.”

I nodded and took a step back. I wanted to do nothing more than run and ever come back. “I’ll head back to Sanctuary.”

Negan caught my wrist and pulled me back to him. He pressed another kiss on my lips and I closed my eyes, I wanted to forget that I had just seen my dad, but I couldn’t.

“I won’t touch him and neither your brother”, Negan whispered at my lips.

“Thank you”, I whispered back.

Negan and I both straightened, putting our masks back on.

“Wait for me in my room”, Negan said with that cocky grin of his.

I grinned, but it didn’t quite feel right with the turmoil in my chest. “You have a way with words, Negan.”

“For you always, love.”

Amused I shook my head and returned to Rune. “Have fun, dear.”

“You too”, Negan said when I mounted my horse and turned my back on my family, leaving them to the mercy of Negan and that wasn’t much.

I couldn’t believe my dad had survived. After all this time. I had expected him dead and suddenly he was there, looking at me as if I had betrayed him. I shook my head and spurred Rune into a gallop. He had no right to look at me like this. None!

Suburban Alexandria was nice. A real scenery change from the industrial Sanctuary but also much harder to protect despite the high walls they had going around the place. I had already picked out three ways I would be able to get guys in here and or take down parts of the wall. Might share that information with Negan later if my dad proved to be stubborn.

“Negan.” I walked up to him.

He strode along the street with my dad trailing after him holding Lucille, looking about ready to throw up or something.

Negan smiled at me, making my heart skip a beat. His smile never failed to make me fall for him and I couldn’t help but smile back. Somehow the end of the world had softened my mask rather than make it harder. I was much less of a soldier than I had been before even though I did a lot more fighting.

“What can I do for you, love?” he asked, pulling me against him, ignoring the MG I carried.

I put a hand on his chest. “I’ve got something for you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What is it?”

I pecked him on the lips. “Come and see.” With that I walked off and put some swing into my hips.

I heard Negan draw in a sharp breath and then his steps followed after me. I wished we weren’t here in Alexandria right now. I wanted to tell him what I had discovered with Doc. Carson this morning, but this was hardly the right time or place. We could still celebrate this evening.

My dad trailed after Negan like a lost puppy, just like Negan liked it. We entered one of the houses and I led Negan to an office in the back, with really nice mahogany furniture, but that wasn’t the best thing about it, though I saw Negan eyeing the desk.

What was actually interesting was the safe resting behind the desk.

“A safe?” Negan’s his eyes lit up. “Can you open it?”

I smirked, “who do you think I am? It’s already open.”

Negan hurried over to the big, black metal box and opened the door. Revealing a bottle of really expensive and old scotch, some papers that were of no interest anymore, some really nice chocolate that should still be edible, and a box with jewellery in it as well as a gun. The gun glistened silver, too fancy for my taste, but it worked. I preferred my guns black, so that they wouldn’t give my position away but I knew Negan would like it.

Negan smirked at the gun and checked the magazine. “Damn, that is one pretty weapon.” He stood back up, put the gun in his pants and kissed me, with the scotch in his other hand. “That is a fucking nice gift. Did you check out the jewellery?”

“I did, but I didn’t really think I’d have much use for it.” I leaned against the desk with him standing between my knees.

He turned back and got the jewellery, putting the diamond necklace around my neck. His fingers trailed over the jewellery and my collar bone. My hairs stood on end with pleasure and I couldn’t wait to get home. “Keep it. It’ll look great with that black dress I got you a few weeks back.”

I smiled, thinking about the dress. It was beautiful with little gemstones all over. “And are you going to give me an opportunity to wear it, love?”

Negan’s eyes darkened with hunger. “For fucking sure I will.”

We kissed again and it was anything but chaste. The fact that my dad was watching had completely escaped my mind until Negan straightened and said, “Rick hand me Lucille and get some glasses for that scotch.”

My dad handed Negan the bat, shot me a look half pain, half disgust and then headed off while Negan and I wandered out onto the porch, watching the saviours take different sorts of furniture out of the houses. Negan looked so smug and comfortable I knew he liked it here.

“You look like you want to move places”, I said with a grin.

Negan scoffed, “when I retire maybe.”

Both of us sniggered at the notion of retirement when Rick returned with two glasses. Negan poured one and handed it to me, while pouring himself a drink.

I hesitated, taking the glass. Negan frowned at my obvious hesitation. I really didn’t want to do this now.

“What?”, Negan asked. “Lost your taste for alcohol?”

“No, I can’t”, I said and put the glass down on the handrail.

Negan’s frown deepened. “What do you mean you can’t?”

I bit my lip and placed a hand over my belly. “No more alcohol for me.”

Negan’s eyes became huge. “Are you fucking pregnant?!”

I nodded, “I checked this morning with Doc. Carson. I wanted to tell you but we headed off so soon and I thought this wasn’t the time.”

Negan put Lucille down on the chair behind him, the glass on the railing next to mine and with a roar of happiness picked me up and swirled me around as if I weighed nothing. I couldn’t help but laugh at the obvious happiness in his eyes. “God, I love you so fucking much right now.” He kissed me again, making my knees weak with all the emotions. “You are fucking perfect you know that?”

“I do.” He never failed to tell me.

“Fuck! We are going to have a mini me run around!” Negan was over the moon.

“Or a mini me.”

Negan smiled, “that might actually be better.”

“You’d spoil her to no end.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, giddy with happiness. I had been a little worried about how he would take this but now that it was out, I felt dizzy with joy and relief.

“My children deserve to be spoiled!”, Negan announced, his chest puffing. “Why did you even come if you knew? This is to fucking dangerous! You should be resting.”

I glared at him and hopped down from his arms. I already knew that we’d be arguing about what I could and couldn’t do until the baby was here. “As long as I can hold a gun, I’ll do it.”

Negan shook his head, but didn’t look like he wanted to argue right now. Which was certainly new for him. He turned to Arat who smiled at the news. “Make sure she has two guys following her at all time.”

I rolled my eyes, “Negan, I can take out most of your guys blindfolded.”

Negan turned back to me, without waiting for a response from Arat. “I know that you can, but you can’t stop a bullet and I want you to be safe.”

I sighed, when he looked at me like that, I had hard time saying no to him. “Fine.”

Negan kissed me again and I smiled at his lips. “You have me wrapped around your finger.”

Negan chuckled, “I wanted to say the same thing to you.”

Still smiling I stepped back a little and caught my dad’s gaze. He looked so lost and then took in a breath, “can I talk to you, Tory?” He half looked at Negan as if he was unsure who was calling the shots.

Negan stiffened, his hands on my hips tightened. He didn’t want me to talk to him, he was still angry at my dad and I doubted that would ever stop, but he also wouldn’t get between me and my family.

“Sure. We can talk.”

Negan let me go as my dad and I walked out into the street, with two guys trailing behind me just like Negan had ordered. Negan stayed on the porch, watching with hard eyes.

“What can I do for you, dad?”, I asked and focused on him, my arms crossed.

“Are you really pregnant?”, he asked.

“Of course, I don’t lie about shit like that. To be quite frank I don’t lie at all.” Anger already bubbled up inside me. Hot and searing, powered by the grief that never quite dulled since the attack on the outpost.

“Why?”, he asked, trying to keep his temper in check.

“Because I love him.” It was as simple as that.

My dad sighed and rubbed his face. “What happened? How did you meet him? I mean...”

“You mean you hate him and think that he is a monster.” I knew the way he looked at Negan. I had seen it often enough from surrendered communities.

He nodded, his expression was careful. He didn’t want to anger me and at the same time had a hard time keeping his opinion about Negan to himself. “He said he was the one who sat at your bedside when you almost died. He was there for you when no one else was, is that true?”

“Yes, it was before all of this. I got shot on a mission and almost died. They had to restart my heart twice. Negan was there when I woke up”- a soft smile came onto my face, despite the storm of emotions in my chest- “he was always there for me when I needed him. When the whole world went to shit and the military had fallen under the storm of the dead and the following wars, I was still with my team. Seal Team, don’t know if you picked up on that or not.” My heart clenched thinking about my team.

“What happened?”, my dad asked, he had caught onto my pain.

“Some asshole came along to our outpost and killed all of them in their sleep.”

My dad paled as he realised what had happened.

“And not only took that asshole, that monster, the last member of my team, a part of my family really, but he killed the men I had trained. I have trained almost all of the men at the Sanctuary”- my voice rose with anger until I was yelling- “they are as much his men as they are mine and you fucking took them from me.” I pushed my dad, I couldn’t help it.

He stumbled backwards as if I had done so much more than that.

“You call Negan a monster, but you have done so much worse. He would never, _never_ kill people in their sleep. That is weak and we have no place for weakness in the new world. He protects people. He makes sure people are safe. You have only ever gotten people killed, Rick”, I spat out his name making him flinch, “he would have been well in his right to kill you all and everybody in here for making you pay, but he didn’t. You should be fucking grateful for that because when I got Ian back as a corpse I for sure wanted to kill the family of the person who had done that, or their friends. I want you to feel the pain I felt.”

“I am so sorry, Tory. I didn’t know, if I had known…”

“If you had known you wouldn’t have done it?”, I sneered, “that makes it only worse. You make me sick, you know that? I knew you were never strong but this is even worse than what I imagined.” I shook my head and took a step back, “you are disgusting and you aren’t my father anymore.”

“Tory, please.” He reached for me.

“Fuck off”, I snapped and the guards stiffened ready to come to my help, “if you put only one finger on me, I’ll break it!”

Rick let his hand fall down and I marched past him. Anger and pain battling in my chest. Negan came down from the porch and drew me into his arms. I sniffled at his chest, trying really hard not to cry but a few tears still escaped my eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay baby girl.” He hugged me tightly. I breathed in his familiar scent, the strength of his arms, just felt him and grounded myself. Getting my emotions back in check. “Do you want to go home?”

I shook my head, “it’s fine.”

Negan looked at me critically, “are you sure?” He brushed a tear away with his glove free hand.

I nodded and took a deep breath. “I am fine.”

Negan kissed me softly. “Tell me if you need anything, right?”

“Sure thing”, I smiled a little at him, I knew it was still sad at the edges but it would be getting better. We were having a family and I was so looking forward to it.


	9. Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of character death but otherwise there is nothing bad happenig. It's rather on the fluff side really.

The days after Rick and his small group had run into Negan were tense. Grief hung over Alexandria like a grey cloud of smoke, but it was permeated by heavy sparks of anger and the hissing of fear. I hated that the monster that had killed Glenn and Abraham had the same name as the man who I loved so many years back.

My heart ached when I thought about Glenn and Abraham. I hadn’t seen their bodies, but I knew the damage a baseball bat could do. Negan had one to back in the day, though I didn’t think much about it. It had to be a coincidence, right? Right? It couldn’t be the same man.

The man who I had loved, I had known, would have never done something like this, but then I thought Rick wouldn’t do something like this either and Rick had raided the Saviour outpost in the night. Killing the men in their sleep. I had argued against it. It was murder but Rick didn’t listen and everybody followed Rick blindly.

I had stayed back and since Nya needed me, no one argued, despite my excellent combat expertise and skill. My daughter currently slept on my lap, her thick black curls especially ruffled today. She had inherited the curls from me and the colour from her father.

A soft smile crept on my face as I watched my daughter sleep. I told her many stories about the old world and her father, though she had been everything but planned. She was a happy, little accident of a drunken one-night stand that had turned into a proper affair, right before the world went to shit.

Carl walked up the stairs of the front porch, his one eye angry, but he was always angry these days, though the whole ordeal with Negan seemed to have made it even worse. I had almost forgotten how angry teenagers could be. Negan had always spoken about the silly hormone driven children who believed they were adults, but back then things had been different. In this world you had to grow up fast and Carl for sure did.

“Hi Carl, how are you feeling?” It was a touchy subject to ask people how they felt these days, but I refused to tiptoe around them. People had to work through their grief.

Carl sighed and leaned against the white railing. “I think you should hide together with Judith in the church.”

I shook my head. My hand didn’t stop softly running through Nya’s curls. “No, I won’t hide.”

“What if he takes Nya?”, Carl argued.

My left hand tensed on her back. She was only half a year older than Judith. “What would he want with a child?”

“To torment us some more?”, Carl’s eye blazed but he didn’t raise his voice.

“From what you told me he wants our stuff and a child as small as this would only be trouble for him, not to mention that Rick submitted to him”, I said my voice equally level. Nya was pretty good at sleeping through stuff but we didn’t have to risk waking her. I might want to catch up on some sleep as well, now that I thought about it.

“I don’t think he is that logic driven”, Carl crossed his arms. For all the age in his eyes, his body was still as lanky as any teenager’s

I glared at him, but didn’t squeeze my daughter tighter. “I don’t think you are this logic driven. We attacked first, remember? Negan struck back.” Just saying his name felt weird.

Carl’s eye flashed. The other had been lost in a fight that I hadn’t been there to witness. “You can’t seriously be defending him.”

“I am only stating facts”, I breathed through my anger. It never helped to snap at people. “And you know it.”

“Glenn and Abraham were your friends too”, Carl hissed.

Nya shifted on my lap.

“And don’t you think the people you killed were someone’s friends?”

“We can’t just not kill people, Faye. That is not how this world works anymore.”

“But so far we only killed in self-defence”, I said while soothing my daughter, who seemed close to waking up. “What you did was murder.”

Carl stared at me for a moment longer, before he huffed in anger and stormed away. With a sigh I relaxed in my chair again. “What will I do when you reach that age, hm little one?”

Nya made an unintelligible sound and looked up at me with green eyes, that looked brown when they light was low. The same eyes as her father. My heart constricted looking into those eyes. Negan and I had never been traditionally together. I had been his affair while he still had a wife, but I had felt more for him. It didn’t matter to me that he might not have felt the same. I hadn’t listened to my friends telling me I would never be as important to him. I had loved him and that was all that mattered to me.

Enid came up after Carl had left in a storm. “What was that all about?”

“Carl doesn’t like logic”, I said, my smile fading around the edges. Before I could explain what had gone on between me and Carl there was a loud banging at the gates.

My heart dropped into my pants and Enid paled visibly. “Is that them?”

“I don’t know”, I stood up, moving Nya to rest on my hip. “They are early.”

Rick headed past us in that moment, looking even more stressed than normal, which was an achievement in the zombie apocalypse. “You should hide, Faye.”

“I don’t hide”, I didn’t sound nearly as convinced as I had when I talked to Carl, but there was this little voice in my head. The voice that constantly asked: What if it was your Negan? Nya’s father? She deserved to meet her father. _Even if he is as bad as everybody said he is?_

Enid and I stayed on the porch. The chains on the front gate rattled and the sounds of trucks filled Alexandria. I couldn’t see it from here, but just listening to it I got the feeling of quite a few people. Of course, there had to be, otherwise Rick and the others would have simply kicked the Saviour’s asses. Rick could be so determined it was almost scary.

Enid shot me a look. “I better head home. Make sure that they don’t steal my sketchbook or something.”

I nodded in agreement, hugging Nya a little tighter than was necessary. “You do that and be careful. Don’t get in trouble.”

Enid sent me a timid smile and hurried away across the street to her house.

A few moments later men and women armed with machine guns came walking down the nice, suburban street. I didn’t like the look in their eyes at all and stepped to the side when they headed to my house. They looked me over with Nya in my arms and I could see that they put me on the ‘not dangerous’ side, which was exactly what I needed in case things got hairy and knowing Rick they would get hairy sooner or later.

A crash sounded from inside and I flinched a little. Nya’s lip quivered. I stepped down from the porch, before they could reduce Nya to tears and turn me into an angry banshee, and headed towards the lake at the front of Alexandria.

Many Saviours passed me by, most of them didn’t even spare me a second glance. Nya watched with her big eyes as men and women ran inside the houses and I could tell that it unnerved her. When she whimpered, I stopped to comfort her. “It’s alright, little one.”

I was so busy with my daughter that I didn’t notice people walking up to me.

“Now what do we have here?”, a man said and I recognized the voice immediately. The happy, slightly mocking lilt in it.

My head snapped up and my eyes widened when it was actually him. He was older now. His beard was greyer than before, his eyes were harder, a little darker than Nya’s, his skin more tanned, but apart from that he looked exactly like I remembered him.

Negan stared back at me. He looked like he had seen a ghost. I felt the same. “Shit, Faye?”

“Negan”, I whispered and Rick stared at the both of us as if we had grown some extra heads.

Negan’s eyes wandered to Nya, who now looked back at him then his eyes wandered back to me a question in them, “is she?”

I nodded, still to lost for words. He was alive.

“Mama?”, Nya asked unsure of what was happening when Negan stepped closer.

Rick held his baseball bat wrapped in barbwire named Lucille. After his wife. She must have died then.

“It’s okay baby, that’s your dad”, I said softly torn between smiling and crying. I settled on both.

“Can I hold her?”, Negan asked, suddenly lacking the confidence, he had shown mere moments ago.

I handed him his daughter. I knew he’d never hurt her. With a big smile, that tore my heart in two he picked her up and balanced her on his waist just like I had.

“Now aren’t you a pretty lady”, Negan cooed, “and so gorgeous.”

I smiled and didn’t bother hiding my tears. “She has your eyes.” My voice was thick with emotion.

Negan tore his attention from his daughter and looked at me, “hey, why are you crying?” He extended his other arm and I stepped into his embrace, breathing in his scent. The motion was so familiar, I totally forgot what was going on around us.

“It’s okay”, I sniffled a little. The leather of his jacket was soft from use. “I am just way to happy she gets to know you. I have told her stories you know.”

Negan kissed the top of my head and for a moment everything felt like it was supposed to be. “Only good ones, I hope?”

I chuckled and looked at my -our- daughter, “of course.”

Rubbing my eyes, I straightened and stepped back a little, taking in the sight of him with his baby on his arms. It looked perfect, down to the leather jacket, the cocky grin and the red scarf.

Negan grinned at me. “I like that look in your eyes.”

Sheepishly I smiled back. Negan reached out with his free hand and brushed a stray tear from my cheek. “You have to come to Sanctuary with me.”

I hesitated, “I don’t know…”

“It’s not safe here and I won’t risk my daughter or you, for that matter, now that I have found you”, Negan’s voice had gone hard. Harder than I had ever heard it before.

A shot echoed through the little town, making me jump. Nya started to cry and Negan handed me my daughter back, he brushed over my cheek once more. “See? Not safe.”

With that he headed towards the infirmary from where the shot had come. A little lost I stared after him while I tried to soothe my daughter. She never liked the sound of guns.

I had wanted her to meet her father and I had wanted to meet Negan again as well, but now I was suddenly hesitating to go with him? I had argued with Carl that he was not nearly as bad, as they made him out to be, so why didn’t I go. Yes, I had friends here, more than I counted, but I could go and visit. The thing was I didn’t know Negan anymore. I trusted him not to hurt Nya but I didn’t know where he stood with me.

“Have you made up your mind yet?”

I jumped as Negan suddenly appeared again.

“Geez, Negan, you scared me!”, I breathed out, still clutching Nya to my chest.

He smiled charmingly. That smile had been my demise in the beginning and it still send my heart into a wild gallop. “Sorry, you know I totally forgot to ask what my little angel’s name is.”

“Nya.”

His smile turned into a full-blown grin. “What an awesome name.”

I sighed. My mind wandering to the Sanctuary conversation. “Negan, I don’t know where we stand. I know you’d never hurt Nya, but I don’t know where we are with that. I have heard some pretty bad stories about you.” And I could see it in his eyes. Something had broken him.

Negan pursed his lips for a moment, “yeah, I bet those as-“

I slapped a hand over his mouth, earning a few weird glances from the Saviours passing by. “Mind the baby.”

Negan pried the hand from his mouth and grinned. “Sorry.” He put his hands over Nya’s ears, “you believed those fucking assholes?”

“No, well, I know you only retaliated and that we attacked first, but beating people to death with a baseball bat and nearly having Carl’s arms chopped of?”, I asked, “don’t you think that is a little much?”

“I needed to make a fucking point”, Negan growled, but he wasn’t angry at me and I wasn’t afraid of him, he calmed a little, one hand coming to my cheek. “I would never hurt you, Faye.”

I pressed into his touch before I could think better of it. “And you think your place is a good place for Nya to grow up?”

Negan didn’t grin this time. He managed to be at least somewhat serious. “It’s the best, she will be treated like a princess.”

My lips twitched. “By which you mean spoiled horribly.”

Negan chuckled, “well, maybe.”

I smiled, “alright, I’ll come, but I want to come back here and visit Alexandria. I like it here.”

Negan looked around. “I know right?”, he put his hands over Nya’s ears again. “It’s a fucking nice place.”

I sighed and shook my head. “You will really have to work on your cussing, Negan.”

Negan pecked me on the cheek, “I’ll try my best, love.” With that he took Nya from me, placed her on his hip and wrapped and arm around my waist. “You’ll love Sanctuary. It’s much safer and we have a great deal of stuff.”

I leaned into him as we headed towards his truck. “If you say so. I am just glad you are alive.”

He bent down to kiss my temple. “I missed you.”

I turned to look at him then. “I missed you too.”

With soft eyes Negan bent even deeper and I went on tiptoes to kiss him. The kiss was relatively chaste, knowing Negan, but maybe it was because of Nya.

“Kiss!”, Nya exclaimed.

Negan chuckled and turned, “of course, a kiss for my princess.” He smooched her as well and she giggled happily, nearly smacking Negan with a baby fist of excitement.

Enid suddenly came running towards us, Rick was still standing off to the side staring at the both of us properly weirded out. “Faye!”, Enid stopped when she saw me standing so close to Negan eyes wide. “Oh uh, sorry.”

I stepped back a little, trying not to look as lovestruck as I felt. “What is it, Enid?”

“Well, people are packing up all your stuff…” Enid trailed off and looked from me to Negan and back to me. I saw it click in her head. “That’s him?!” She breathed eyes beginning to sparkle. “Nya’s Negan?”

Negan chuckled, “the one and only.”

“Oh wow!”, Enid exclaimed, “this is so romantic.” She froze, “so you are leaving?”

“Yes, but I’ll come back to visit”, I promised.

Enid nodded and then hugged me quickly. “I’ll miss you, but I am so happy for you.”

I hugged her back, caught between happy and sad again. I guess that’s what the term bittersweet applied for. “I’ll miss you guys too and you don’t even know how happy I am.”

We shared a very girly grin before Enid looked at Negan, suddenly brave. “You’ll keep her safe?”

Negan nodded, no smile on his face this time. “Of course, with everything I have.”

And that was quite a lot if I was to believe Rick.

Enid nodded, “good, because she is special and my best friend.”

Negan smiled, “I know that she is special. My special girls and don’t worry, they’ll be fine.”

Nya and I rode front centre in Negan’s truck and got our first view of Sanctuary. Nya had constantly been playing and giggling with Negan while we drove. The woman behind the steering wheel was dark skinned with hard eyes, but they softened every time she looked at Negan and Nya messing around with each other, even with her soft baby features it was obvious that she was Negan’s daughter, from the hair to the eyes.

Sanctuary was an old factory and looked rather grim. Nothing like the peaceful, suburban Alexandria, but it was also better protected. With high fences, guard patrols, snipers and walkers tied to those fences. Rather gruesome if you asked me and I covered Nya’s eyes when we left the trucks.

Nya was in my arms and Negan lifted me out of the truck, so I could make sure my daughter didn’t see the ugly walkers.

“Don’t you think that is a bit much?”, I asked Negan, nodding towards the walkers.

Negan smiled cockily. He had always been confident, but that seemed to have reached new heights now. “Nah, I find it just the right measure to keep people away.”

I screwed my nose, which led to Negan softly tapping against it with his finger. “You still look adorable doing that.”

I smiled softly, but before I could respond a man walked up to him. He had dark, slowly greying hair, making it look almost completely dark grey with a moustache.

“Boss”, he nodded. “Did everything go well?”

“Perfectly fine”, Negan smiled and turned to the man. “Simon, this is Faye and my daughter Nya. I expect that they will be treated just like me.”

Simon’s eyes widened as he looked at the both of us, “well if that isn’t a f”-

Now it was Negan who slapped a hand over Simon’s mouth. The other man flinched. “Mind your language, Si!”

Simon nodded hastily, “sorry, a big coincidence.”

“Or a happy coincidence”, Negan grinned, nearly bouncing with excitement. “Come on. Let the guys unload the sh”- he managed to catch himself in time- “this will be worse than back in school.”

I chuckled, maybe a little to entertained by Negan’s troubles. “You wanted us to come.”

“And I don’t regret it”, Negan said, suddenly very serious. It was ridiculously easy to reconnect with him. “Now, come on, I’ll show you where you’ll live.” He turned to Simon. “Make sure we’ll get a baby bed up there, best two, one for my room as well.”

Simon was clearly surprised by those orders but nodded. Negan ran a tight ship around here, by the looks of things.

“And some food”, Negan added, “for both of my special girls.” Negan smiled down at me. “You must be hungry.”

“Yeah, though at the moment I am a little nervous.”

Negan threw an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t be. Come on. I’ll announce you, to make sure that you get the proper respect!”

Negan led me inside the factory. It was cool, compared to the outside and a lot of people mingled about, kneeling down when Negan passed by. He shot me another grin and I only shook my head, my lips curled up. Negan’s grin widened and he held out his hand for me to take.

Hand in hand we strolled up to a walkway over the mass of people. Negan banged with Lucille against the railing until everybody had fallen quiet.

“Now, people. I bet you didn’t expect me to come back with such a beautiful lady and her equally beautiful child”, Negan announced loudly. He should have been a drama teacher. “The trip to Alexandria was rather successful and we got some new mattresses.”

The people didn’t react. Somewhat unnerving. 

“However, I didn’t come here to talk about mattresses, to you sorry f”- Negan stopped himself and smirked. “Right no cussing. We have a child among us and not just any child. My child!”

That did get a reaction from the crowed. They murmured and looked up at Nya and me.

“This is my daughter Nya, she is my little princess and I expect you to treat her this way. If not, you’d wish you’d only have to face Lucille”, his voice dropped and the temperature of the room dropped with it. “And that is her beautiful mother Faye. She is treated with the same respect. They are my special girls and you better remember that.” Negan paused to let the words sink in, “as you were.”

With that he led me further up into the upper levels of Sanctuary. “You shouldn’t have any troubles here whatsoever”, Negan said and took Nya from me as we started to climb stairway after stairway. “I’ll also install a child gate, so that we don’t have to worry about Nya falling down the stairs.”

“I was just about to mention that”, I said, my eyes wandering all about the place as I tried to take in everything at once.

“You can also keep your gun. You don’t have to work for anything, just take what you like or ask me”, Negan continued. “Well, of course you can work.”

“I might have some suggestions for your security.” My head already picking apart everything I saw.

“I knew you’d have to say something. You are too smart for your own good.” He stopped on a stair and kissed me again.

I smiled against his lips. “Nya is probably going to be just as smart.”

“Of course, she is!”, Negan exclaimed and continued up the stairs as if he was twenty years younger. “She is our daughter!”

I was a little out of breath when we reached the penthouse level, but Negan didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. “You’ll get used to the stairs.”

“I bet”, I said and looked around the upper floor. It was by far the nicest and most luxurious one with carpet on the floor and a guard always on the staircase.

A woman excited through two black double doors at the end of the hallway and stopped when she saw Negan with the baby and me next to him. She was a beautiful redhead, very close to my own hair colour, wearing a short black dress. Her eyes went from Negan, to the baby, to me and clearly connected the dots.

“Ah wife!”, Negan called out. His voice bounced a little through the hallway. “Come on, Faye. You can meet all my wives and our daughter’s aunts.”

“Wives?”, I asked. My lips twitched as I tried not to burst into laughter. A giggle bubbled up and then I had to laugh.

“You think that’s funny?” He asked as we headed towards the black double doors.

“I think it is very you”, I said, still giggling.

Negan grinned and the woman held the door open for him.

The room was filled with five women in short black dresses, six with the redhead who entered after us. All the women looked up from whatever they were doing when Negan and I entered.

“Wives!”, he announced. “This is Nya, my daughter and her mother, Faye.”

The wives clearly didn’t know what to think of that.

“They will live here now and I expect you to welcome them warmly”, Negan said.

“She is so cute”, the redhead said and walked up to me. “I am Frankie.”

“Nice to meet you”, I smiled and shook her hand. I’d certainly ask Negan about the whole wife deal later. I wasn’t surprised, but I was curious how that had come about.

Soon I had all the wives cooing over Nya. Negan stood to the side, an arm wrapped around my waist watching the whole thing go down. “As I said. Aunts.”

I grinned, “they are very nice.”

“Of course”, Negan scoffed and kissed me on the cheek before he pushed himself of the wall. “Now wives, sorry to interrupt, but my special girls have to eat something.”

Negan picked up Nya and we headed out of the room.


	10. Big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of death, blood and a dead guy. But overall it's pretty light (as light as TWD can be that is). Also it's not as edited as some of the others. I couldn't be botheredd and university starts again tomorrow, so I am not sure when the next update will be.

“This is stupid and you know it is”, Daisy hissed from behind me as I cleaned the blood from the stomach wound of the man.

He had been cut up pretty bad by some asshole and then left to die. It was pure luck I had come just in time to save him from the walkers. As soon as he had seen me, he had keeled over and passed out. Over six feet of man for me to drag back to my treehouse. Not an easy feat and my back ached more than I cared to admit, but he was alive and that is what counted.

I shot a look at my friend. Her brunette hair with golden highlights grazed her shoulders as she leaned forward.

“What would you have me do?”, I asked in annoyance. “Just leave him to die?”

At least the bleeding of the wound had stopped, now I only had to stich him up. The things you learned in a post-apocalyptic world.

“Yes!” -Daisy waved her arms around- “I repeat: have you seen how big he is? He could take both of us out if he woke up.”

“Of course, I have seen how big he is and no he can’t take both of us.”

Daisy didn’t look like she believed me. That happened rather often which was weird. I had never let her down.

“Who is the one of us that has actual fighting experience?”, I paused, “right me. No matter how big he is, the state he is in, he is going to take no one on.”

Suddenly the man below me moved. “I do enjoy having ladies talk about my size”, he muttered voice rough. “But I do have to ask where the fuck am I?”

Daisy and I froze. He had opened his eyes and looked at us through half lids, reminding me of a sleepy cat, or lion rather. Black hair fell into his face, hiding eyes that couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be brown or green.

Mostly black stubble covered a masculine jaw. Hints of grey lingered here and there but not enough to call it salt and pepper just yet. He’d be there in a few more years.

Due to the fact that he was without a shirt I could see his muscular upper body. He was thin, but not malnourished, which meant something in this shitshow of a world.

“So?”, he prompted a wicked grin appearing on his face. “Or have I rendered you speechless with my amazing voice? Wouldn’t be the first fucking time.”

Daisy looked at me as if to say, ‘see? Bad fucking idea’. We knew this type of man. Horribly cocky and convinced of themselves with killer charms. They had been insufferable with law enforcement and were even worse without it.

Nonetheless there was no way to turn back time. “You are in my treehouse.”

He eyed the low wooden walls, waking up more and more. Tension returned to his body and I bet pain. “Looks more like a Hobbit Hole to me.”

My lips quirked upwards at that. “Well, it was built for six-year-old me. I certainly wouldn’t have expected to use it in a zombie apocalypse.”

I loved my treehouse to death. As a child and now. It had saved us right from the start. Easy to defend against humans and walkers.

“Huh”, the man scanned his body. “How am I even still alive?”

“I saved you”, I sounded way to proud. “And you are way too heavy. My back wishes I hadn’t saved you.”

“I wish that too”, Daisy muttered.

I glared at her. “How about you get some snow for the wound?”

Daisy sighed as if I had just told her to drag another man into the treehouse and vanished in the back to get some snow from outside.

“I’ll have to stich you up. Please lie back down.”

Suspicion hardened his face. If not for the wound I would have been worried. “Are you a doctor?”

“I was a vet, but I know how to treat wounds like this.” Stitching up flesh wounds really was the same with mammals and most other animals. Of course, depending on the organs things could get tricky.

“Vet is fine by me”, his head landed on the pillow again. He laid on the floor with only a blanket and a pillow. Not only would the bed Daisy and I shared be too short for him but I wouldn’t want blood and something else on it.

“I am Negan, by the way.” A light look of panic suddenly crossed his face, but he relaxed as soon as he saw the baseball bat at the other end of the room. “You got Lucille as well. I owe you one.”

“No problem”, I disinfected the needle, not overly worried he had named his baseball bat. Swords had names so why not baseball bats? “Do you want something to bite down on?”

“Do you have some alcohol?”

“Nope, sorry.” Sometimes I wished we had, but I couldn’t risk drowning all my sorrows in alcohol.

He sighed and grimaced. “Just get on with it.”

“Please don’t twitch”, I said and got to work.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, love”, Negan scoffed, “what is your name by the way?”

“Ava and my very caring friend is Daisy.”

“Those are some pretty fucking names, even though I don’t like Daisy’s attitude. Would she really have left me to die?”, Negan asked, as if he found that hard to believe.

“Yes, she would have. Lucky for me I am her conscience.”

“And I am your brain”, Daisy entered the room again, ducking under the low doorway with ease. “I have left the snow on the windowsill, so that it doesn’t melt before you are finished.”

“Thanks, Daisy”, I said, voice distracted as I leaned over Negan’s stomach, fixing up the long gash.

“How long have you guys been hiding out here?”, Negan asked into the silence.

“Since the beginning.”

“That long?”, Disbelief pitched his voice.

I hummed in agreement, moving the needle through his flesh. I was surprised by how he managed to be so chipper.

“Damn girls. That is not bad. Most people can’t stay in one place for too long. What are you living of?”, Negan sounded really impressed.

“Squirrels, pigeons and honey.”

Negan’s gaze rested on me like a heavy weight. I hated people watching me work. “You have to be fucking kidding.”

I didn’t look up at him in fear of messing up the stiches. “I am not.”

“Honey? Where the fuck do you get honey from?”

“Her father was a beekeeper”, Daisy supplied. It bordered on a miracle that she had decided to join into the conversation.

“Ah, that makes a lot more sense now and is fucking cool”, Negan’s voice sounded a little strained at that. Not immune to pain after all. “And the squirrels and pigeons?”

“We are breeding the pigeons”, I said, “and catch the squirrels with traps. We get the occasional rabbit as well. Tonight, is rabbit stew time, if you care to know. You are lucky.”

“That does sound fucking delicious. I didn’t have any good fucking food in a long time.”

“You do look like you had food though”, Daisy pointed out.

Negan huffed. I couldn’t tell whether it was from pain or irritation. “I had, but the dude that makes it can’t fucking cook for the life of me and I am pretty fucking sure that he is feeding us dog.”

“Us?”, I asked. Would people come and look for Negan? That was really the last thing I needed.

“Yeah, a bunch of fucking idiots living at the old factory”, Negan sneered, “they aren’t much better than animals. When I get back there, I am going to make some fucking changes.”

Daisy and I exchanged a worried glance. He had to have lost more blood than I thought. If my hands hadn’t been busy, I would have checked his temperature. Fever maybe?

“What old factory?”, I kept my voice light. I surely wasn’t worrying about him hallucinating. Not at all.

Negan stared at both of us.

I cleared up the stitches. “You are all done.”

I dropped the needle in a bowl of water and washed my hands, then wiped over Negan’s stomach wound with disinfectant once more. My hands got some disinfectant as well and I got some bandages.

“Sit up please.” I helped him sit up. I shuffled even closer and could feel the heat radiate off him. I wrapped bandages around his stomach.

“How far away are we from the east road highway?”, Negan’s voice was tight.

“Oh, a long way off”, I said, “with the car at least five hours.”

“That fucking asshole!” Another string of curse words followed.

I stood up to get the snow and put it in a towel, placing it on Negan’s wound. He hissed at the cold.

“It’ll help with the pain and keep down infection”, I told him, “keep it on until it melted.”

Negan complied, maybe he was too angry about whoever he was cursing at. I got him some food as well, while Daisy sat in her corner and pouted.

With my own bowl of stew, I sat back down opposite of Negan. “What happened?” I couldn’t help but be curious. Daisy had been my only company for a year and I longed for some more.

“Ron betrayed me”, Negan snarled, fingers tense around his wooden bowl.

“Ron?”, I asked, “the guy that was dead a little way off?”

Negan nodded, “glad to know I managed to kill him. What about the car?”

“I didn’t check for cars. I do have keys, taken of Ron, but I don’t drive. Makes too much noise.” I dug into my bowl of stew and pointed at Negan to eat some as well.

Frown still etched onto his face he took a spoonful of the wonderfully warm stew. “Can you get me back to where you found me?”

“Yes, but only once you are healed.”

Negan glared at me and I stilled, half ready to wrestle him to the ground should he try and attack me. “I have to get back.”

I channelled my ‘have to deal with stupid pet owners’ patience. “If you want to change things, wouldn’t it be better to change them when you are healed and can actually wield your bat properly?”

“Her name is Lucille”, Negan growled.

“My apologies, but my point still stands.” I took another mouthful of my stew. Good thing that I wasn’t overly interested in varied foods or I wouldn’t have wanted stew anymore.

“Why are you so invested in my wellbeing anyway?”

“Yeah”, Daisy joined in, “I would like to know that too.”

“We are in the fucking apocalypse. Dead are ruling the planet. We can’t afford to turn on each other like the stupid people we are. We have to work together or soon there will be no humans around anymore”, I snapped at both of them.

A thoughtful expression rested on Negan’s face. “You could be right. Just sad that most of the fucking idiots these days don’t see it that way.”

“You could make them see it”, I met his gaze. “When you go and change things.”

“Why are you so confident that I can?”

“Because you were nearly disembowelled and still killed your attacker and you were ready to take down walkers as well” -I waved around with my spoon- “I have rarely met someone with that much survival will.”

Negan grinned cockily, “you are right. I am fucking badass and that stew tastes fucking amazing, by the way.”

“Thanks”, Daisy muttered, “though personally I can’t taste it anymore.”

“In spring we’ll have turnips again”, I promised her.

“If they grow.”

“I’ll make them grow.” Growing turnips wasn’t nearly as hard as coaxing the tomatoes out of the ground.

“Do you have a green thumb?”, Negan asked and I nodded with a smile.

“Beekeeping and gardening are my favourite things.”

“Cute”, Negan grinned and my smile widened.


	11. Coach Tucker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess warnings of Older Man/ Younger Woman (nothing actually happens it's just mentions) otherwise it's more or less AU (never decided whether it was before the downfall or it never happened) so only teasing and happy things going on. 
> 
> Differen't perspectives. I tried with Negan, but not sure I don't write third person limited very often. 
> 
> Also Golden Flight basically looks like Spirit. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

Negan walked down the hallway of the school. He had a free period, heading for the teachers’ lounge. His steps echoed off the walls, muffled voices of students could be heard through the doors on either side.

A long, very pale blonde braid and a pair of very nice legs disappeared around a corner ahead of him. None of the other school staff and teachers had such nice hair nor legs, so it had to be a student. In the middle of class? In this part of the school?

“Hey!”, he shouted. His voice boomed through the corridor. It nearly made him uncomfortable. It was good for being a PE teacher but inside voices...

A second later a head popper back around the corner. It was a pretty, young woman. He couldn’t quite judge her age, but the girls these days were hellbent on getting him into prison so he was rather careful with anybody he didn’t immediately recognize as teacher or staff. She was somewhat familiar to him with the bright blue eyes and that amazing hair, reaching down over her butt. He wanted nothing more than to open the braid and get his hands into that hair. _NO! BIG NO! Fucker, this gets you straight to jail._

If he recognized this girl and not from staff then she had to be a student, though it was odd, since he knew all of his students fairly well. He tried to get his finger on the vague memory he had off her but it slipped away.

She came back around the corner as he walked closer. A grin spread on her face, looking him up and down in a way no student should look at their teacher. Her grin, paired with those eyes seemed hellbent on making trouble.

“Coach Tucker?” she asked with an older voice than she looked.

“Yeah”, Negan stopped in front of her arms crossed, god she was tiny! Almost a foot smaller than him. “You new here or what?”

“Kind of”, she said with her mischievous grin that unnerved him a little as he frantically tried to place her. Hell, he didn’t want her to be a student.

“How can you kind of be new?”, he asked voice rough. “What are you doing out in the hallway anyway? Don’t you have class?”

If her eyes sparkled any more, they’d be mistaken for jewels. She seemed to be quietly laughing at him, but he wasn’t quite sure why and despite her angel like appearance it made him grumpy.

Not to mention those strong legs of her were stuck in tight jodhpurs. So, she was one of the riding girls. Might explain why he couldn’t immediately place her, though he couldn’t help think about those legs riding him. He knew he was fucking screwed. He would never, ever try something on a minor. He’d rather hack his own cock off, but that didn’t stop his fucked-up brain from coming up with all sorts of images, making his job rather hard from time to time.

“There are no riding classes at this time, girl”, he said, trying to figure out whether she skipped class or not.

“I know”, she grinned like there was no tomorrow, which was usually his job. “I guess I should head back to class then.”

Why was she in riding gear, down to sexy leather boots when she didn’t have any riding classes right now? This girl was hiding something, but if she had to go back to class, he didn’t want to hold her up any longer. “You better do that and if I find you in the hall again, without a hall pass, you’ll be in trouble, young lady!”

She laughed at him while walking away. It was an amazing laugh. Light and clear. “Sure thing, Coach Tucker!”

Negan stared after her with a frown until she disappeared from view, his brain still trying to place her. Damn he should have asked for her name. This would drive him mad!

“Hey!”, a deep baritone voice rang out through the hallway. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

I smiled even before I turned around to look around the corner, seeing my former gym Coach Negan Tucker come my way. Coach Tucker had barely changed in the 8 years since I had last seen him. I knew I had barely changed. People still confused me with being 18 all the time, though my figure had filled out. I looked like a woman apart from my face. My face was young and if you saw me in a school you might mistake me for a student instead of a teacher.

Coach Tucker walked towards me with the same confidence he always had. He was tall, over six feet and he towered over almost everybody in school. He had broad shoulders, a strong chest and as the gym teacher with a hobby for boxing he stayed in shape. The white shirt he wore accentuated that very nicely. He wore blue jeans, his hair was the same black as always but his beards had hints of grey in it now.

If you asked me, he had only gotten hotter with age, but I had been shamelessly crushing on him since forever basically, which is why I was exhilarated to find him still working at my old school, when I came back to teach. Now I was a fully blown adult and could fuck whoever I liked, if they were up to it of course, and if the rumours back in the day were anything to go by, Coach Tucker had a hard time keeping it in his pants, despite being married.

He stopped in front of me, brows furrowed, trying to place me and failing. I saw it the way his eyes trailed up and down my body like he had done with some of the female staff.

“Coach Tucker?” I asked, trying not to grin like a stupid idiot who had just seen their crush and most likely failing. 

“Yeah”, Negan said. God, damn was he tall. I needed to crane my neck to look up at him and I thought he only seemed tall in my memories. Maybe I should start carrying around a ladder with me. I nearly giggled at the thought. “You new here or what?”

“Kind of”, I said, my grin turning mischievous. Let’s see if he would catch onto who I was. He must have heard of the new riding teacher coming in, and not any riding teacher but Nell Goldyn, the Olympia victor of dressage. Yup, that was me! 

“How can you kind of be new?” he asked. Hm just listening to the sound of his voice was so nice. “What are you doing out in the hallway anyway? Don’t you have class?”

It was really hard to keep from giggling in his face, but he looked so adorably confused and grumpy. My crush clearly hadn’t lessened over the years. If my reaction to him was anything to go by it had only increased, well I was sort of allowing myself to fawn over him right now. I mean I didn’t have to worry about legal repercussions anymore.

“There are no riding classes at this time, girl”, he said, as I failed to answer his questions at first. Too caught up with staring into his eyes that looked brown from afar but were green when you got close enough. 

“I know.” I continued to grin like the devil and I knew it annoyed him. Coach Tucker was usually on top of everything. He was in control and knew exactly what to say to the people around him to get them to do what he wanted. I was pretty sure he had the principle wrapped around his little finger. “I guess I should head back to class then.”

His look of confusion only increased and I felt the urge to rub away the wrinkles between his eyes, which was a bad idea. He still thought I was a student. Actually, let’s see how long we could keep the game up. “You better do and if I find you in the hall again, without a hall pass you’ll be in trouble, young lady!”

I finally started laughing while walking away. I just couldn’t help it. I turned around to catch one last glimpse at him. “Sure thing Coach Tucker!”

I felt his gaze on my back while walking away, right until I had disappeared. Maybe he had been staring at my ass. It did look amazing in those jodhpurs if I dare say so myself.

Negan headed out the back of the school building to the sports area of the rather expensive boarding school to get set up for his next class. It wasn’t just your general gym class. These guys were the extra sporty kids and he wanted to keep them entertained.

His mind wandered to the encounter with the riding girl in the hall earlier this day. He hadn’t spotted any new names on his list, so she probably wasn’t in his class. Not to mention this was a rather strange time to appear in a new school anyway, in the middle of the semester. Of course, people couldn’t always control stuff like that, but still.

A horse moving in the riding arena to his left, caught his attention. He had heard of the new riding teacher coming in, but he wasn’t aware they had arrived already. However, when he saw the movements of the horse, he knew this had to be the riding teacher, because that horse seemed to be gliding over the ground. He had never seen anything like it here, apart from a few years back. They had a really special girl back then, amazing with horses, top grades. She finished one year early to go to championships and he heard rumours she had made it to the Olympia.

His eyes narrowed when he caught sight of pale blonde hair under the helmet. It was in a tight bun and from the distance it looked white and yet, the hair reminded him of the girl he had met in the hallway. A frown appeared on his face and he marched over. Was she crazy? Skipping class, taking a horse and riding it around?

When he got closer, he could even hear the music she had turned on. The school had a very expensive set up to prepare the students for all kind of championships.

She was totally engrossed in riding the horse. She didn’t wear any gloves and the horse wasn’t in the traditional dressage get up with two set of reins and what not. Negan had never been to interested in horse riding, but he knew a few things. It was hard not to when he taught his classes right next to the stable area of the school.

The horse itself was a pretty golden thing with a darker mane. It looked like it belonged in a movie as it flew over the arena with graceful movements. The rider was equally graceful, as if she hadn’t done anything but ride for her whole life.

For a moment Negan stopped to watch. Totally forgetting that he had wanted to reprimand her as he saw the elegance and amazing union of rider and horse. They seemed to get each other without any struggle and she worked as if there wasn’t a care in the world.

When the horse moved to a relaxed walk, stretching out its neck, she finally caught sight of him. It was the same girl as in the hallway. Her eyes lit up when she spotted him. “Oh hi again, Coach Tucker!”

“What are you doing?”, he growled, but he had a hard time keeping his voice rough as she stopped her horse to talk to him.

“Riding.” She looked down at him.

He wasn’t used to being looked down at and it certainly didn’t help that she was laughing at him with her eyes, even though her lips were only slightly twitching. “Yeah, I can see that, but classes aren’t over yet.”

“Uh-huh. There are no riding classes at this time”, she said, quoting his earlier words back at him, trying to stay serious.

Before Negan could properly snap at her for teasing him and fucking with the system, he was interrupted by a rush of students coming up to the fence. All of them girls and all of them had the ‘Oh my god a horse’ glow in their eyes that usually had him roll his.

“Oh my god, Miss Goldyn is that Golden Flight?”, one of the girls asked in a tone that could have said ‘can I have an autograph.’

The girl on the horse nodded. “It is indeed.”

The girl who had asked gave a shaky sigh, “I can’t believe you brought him. A world class horse. The best of the best. Can we watch you ride for a moment?”

“Well, I am not sure, don’t you have classes?” Miss Goldyn asked and shot Negan a questioning look. It was the first time she looked serious and so much older all of a sudden.

“I can’t wait to participate in your class later, Miss Goldyn”, Emma said. She was in his class in a few minutes.

“Shit, you are a teacher?”, Negan asked and Miss Goldyn glanced back at him and started giggling. “Couldn’t you have said that earlier?”

She laughed harder and the girls looked between the two of them in confusion.

“You can watch me another time”, she said to the girls, “go prepare for your class now. I have to talk with Coach Tucker.”

With another look the girls scurried off and Miss Goldyn focused on Negan again, who felt pretty stupid right now, but he still got the nagging at the back of his head that he knew her from somewhere.

“Of course, I could have told you earlier”, she said and started giggling again, the sound was adorable and he had refrain from tugging her of the horse to kiss her right there, “but where would have been the fun in that? Well, and I wanted to see whether you would figure it out on your own, though you still don’t seem to remember me.” She gave a heavy sigh, “and here I thought I made an impression.”

Negan frowned at her. “What’s your full name?”

“Nell Goldyn.”

“Shit, the girl who finished early to get a big riding career?” the name suddenly sparked all of his memories he had of the lively girl. She had always looked at him with those sparkling eyes, though she looked at her horses almost the same. She had always been a top student, more in love with horses than with anybody else and never involved in any drama.

“That would be me.”

“Damn.” He rubbed a hand over his scruff. Surprised and happy she wasn’t a student. The fact she had been one once, didn’t bother him too much. She had to be at least in her mid-twenties now, even though she didn’t look it. “Why did you come back?”

“Because I want to teach and I can train here just as much as anywhere else. Also, a little break will be good for us.” She patted the neck of the horse and it snorted, stretching to look at Negan.

“Huh, well, we’ll be seeing more of each other then, I guess”, Negan said, he certainly hoped he would.

She smiled at him, “sure thing. I might even teach you something about riding.” The look she gave him made him think a lot of dirty things. Was she hitting on him? She had to. That could not have been a slip up paired with that smile.

He smirked, giving her the version of his sexy smile and hers widened. Oh yeah, she was hitting on him. This would be fun. She had to be taught a lesson after all she had made fun of him.

“I can’t wait”, he said and then headed back towards his students.


	12. Pity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence warning. Implied rape, like threatened rape, sort of, but the word isn't used in of itself. 
> 
> You know, when I edit these, 99% of the time I think: Damn this would make a great story. And then I move on because my brain is just like 'haha nope.'

The hospital was an absolute mess. I mean most places were. The world was going up in flames so fast every time you blinked something else had collapsed. I wasn’t even sure what was happening anymore. There were no news anymore. No broadcasting. No functioning phone lines. Electricity held up in places and just as people lingered in places. Mostly those with electricity. I had been in major trouble because of more than one helicopter.

Buildings were death traps and hospitals were particularly bad. Which meant I was headed straight for one. Death traps usually had something to lure people in.

Mindful of the glass shards on the ground, I stepped into the hospital. Any dead body in here would be walking by now and I wanted to avoid drawing any attention to me for as long as I could. Of course, those things had a sense of smell, but since there was no real wind in here, my scent wouldn’t travel far or fast.

More than one walker shuffled around the hospital. Gurling, growling, bumping into things like angry toddlers… not a mental image I had wanted. Thanks brain. Some actually permanent dead ones laid in the lobby. Killed either by blunt force trauma to the head, gunshots or knives. Nice work.

I headed up the stairs. I wouldn’t risk getting stuck in an elevator. A walker was splat dead on the floor, nearly blocking the door. He was dead, had lost his head when he fell down the stairway. Poor fucker. I had no real pity for the walkers. They wanted to kill me after all, but I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to a person’s consciousness when they became a walker. Well, not that I would ever find that out. This was a zombie movie come to life and I doubted that we had a scientist somewhere who would figure this shit out and if so… I didn’t have the time to wait for them.

I stepped out on the third floor. I knew they kept most of the good meds here. Not that I wanted much. Antibiotics, first aid kids, just stuff that would be good just in case I got hurt. My backpack was already pretty full with food I had scavenged. I was armed well enough. I’d survive, if a sniper didn’t come my way or I was dropped in the middle of a herd, but these weren’t a huge issue if you could funnel them or climb up somewhere high.

I didn’t even have to break into the med room. The door stood open, a gaping dark mouth, the splinters of the doorframe were the teeth. I stared at the dark opening. I didn’t hear a walker behind it. I inched forward, keeping my body outside of the room and reaching for the lightswitch with a hand in a glove and relatively thick padding around my lower arms. Just some fabric wrapped around.

The light flickered on, no walker in here. Not even a dead body. Nice. I stepped inside and filled my backpack with all the stiff I might need.

A heavy thud, followed by cursing cut through the silence. Much louder than it actually was. I looked up. Frozen in place, like a horse right before it bolted. No agitated gurgling followed straight away. Safe enough I guess. I stood up and poked my head out of the storage room. A tall black-haired man stumble out of a room further down the hall. A walker growled inside of the room he had come out off.

I grabbed my backpack, closing it hastily, ready to run away from the dude while simultaneously ready to help the dude.

“Shit, shit, shit”, he looked back at the room with such a pained and broken expression I knew there was a loved one in there. Or had been a loved one in there.

I tightened the backpack straps around my chest and stepped out of the room. I had everything I needed. The man stumbled backwards when the walker shuffled out of the room. It was an Asian woman, wearing a hospital gown, looking already pretty thin and sick. No hair on her head. A cancer patient, might even have died of natural causes, well the cancer, just not the virus. Poor guy.

“Please don’t”, the man whispered, voice broken and rough.

I drew my dagger, it was pretty long, close to a short sword and had been my dad’s once. I had never expected I would need to use it one day.

“You need some help buddy?” I asked, the dagger rested calmly in my head. No fancy whirling. My father was pretty good at it but had never taught me.

The man whirled around to face me. Damn he looked like shit with deep bags under his eyes and hollow cheekbones. He had black scruff all over his face and his eyes couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be brown or green. If he hadn’t looked like he had faced death he might actually be handsome. “I can’t do it”, he said.

“Yeah, don’t bother mate. It’s okay if I do it?” Better ask. I didn’t want him to go all batshit crazy on me.

He nodded, still moving backwards away from the walker. I stepped forward and ended her with a quick stab to the head. When I drew the dagger out, I made sure not to get any blood or other crap on me and turned around to the man. “You need to get yourself armed quickly.”

He blinked at me blankly. I wasn’t sure if he even listened to me. He might be in shock. I sighed. I didn’t have the time to deal with an oversized baby, but at the same time I couldn’t just leave him behind. This was a us against them kind of situation and we humans needed to stick together. “Come on”, I walked past him. “We need to get out of here, before we run into trouble.”

“What?” he hurried after me.

“What what?”, I asked when I hopped down the stairs.

His long legs easily kept up with me. Damn he was tall and I bet he was pretty in shape under that leather jacket of his. “What is even going on? I mean I heard talk of a virus and evacuation but…”

“But they wouldn’t take her because she was dying anyway?” I curled my lip in disgust. I hated humankind sometimes.

“Yeah”, he nearly growled.

“Well, the dead are walking. Zombies and shit. Make sure you don’t get bit”- we reached the ground floor- “It started a month ago. Evacuation was a week ago.”

“You seem pretty adapted to this for it being one week.”

So, he had brains. Nice to know. “I was thrown into this shit a little earlier.”

I let out a quiet breath of relief when we stepped out of the building. They made me feel trapped for more than one reason.

“Are you military?”, he asked, “is there a plan? Are we fighting this shit?”

“I was in the military. The military is mostly in shambles as far as I know”, I moved across the street to my jeep. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Where are you headed?”, he asked, the fear slowly fading from his eyes to be replaced with something else. Something harder.

“The countryside. Less people, less walkers, open space to see whether they are creeping up on you or not” -I threw a knife into a walker behind him. He jumped out of his skin- “you need to start to be a lot more careful, buddy.”

“Countryside sounds good”, he said, his voice a tad bit higher. He cleared his throat, trying for official, “and my name is Negan.”

“Nice to meet you Negan”, I retrieved my knife and hopped into the jeep, “my name is Eden.”

He scoffed and got in shotgun. “Who the fuck names their child Eden?”

“Parents who believe in god”, I started the engine and pulled away. “What was her name?”

“Why do you care?”, he snapped.

“She seemed important to you.”

He sighed heavily, the fight drained out of him. “Lucille. She was my wife.”

“I am sorry. I lost my mother to this shit.”

“Did you have to take her down?”, he asked as he put on his seatbelt out of habit.

“Yes”, I focused on the road. I was glad he couldn’t catch my whole expression. I still had nightmares about this shit and I wasn’t sure if it would ever stop.

“Well fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know if the president made it?”

I laughed bitterly at that, “even if what the fuck would he be able to do? Talk the walkers to death? It’s only us now, Negan. People like you and me who either survived because of skill or a dumb streak of luck. The military was torn apart from the inside when the dead started walking.”

He sighed and rubbed over his beard. “Well fuck. You think we’ll lose.”

“No. We are like rats or cockroaches. Damn hard to kill and multiply way to fast.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a ray of sunshine.”

“You’ll soon be too”, I said, “just wait and see.”

“Before we head out can we drop by my house?”, Negan asked, his voice was deep, fitting for a man like himself.

“Why?”, I scanned the roadside. A lot of abandoned cars made ample opportunities for ambushes.

“You said I should get myself armed. I have some stuff there. I am going there anyway, if you won’t.”

Good reasoning but also authority problem or stubbornness problem. Seriously? “Right, where do you live?”

He told me the address. A suburban area. Not too bad. “The chance is high that it has already been looted.”

“I don’t care”, he nearly growled at me, “I have to know.”

“No need to get snappy with me”, I said, heading left on a crossing. The traffic lights long dead.

“Sorry”, he mumbled, leaned against the car door.

I shrugged. “Don’t worry. I am no delicate wallflower.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” A wry grin spread on his face, but his eyes stayed empty. I knew the look. Something in him had broken when his wife died.

We reached the house without any trouble and I immediately turned off the engine but a few walkers already came out in between the houses.

“Fuck”, Negan cursed, “are those guys everywhere now?”

“Did you miss the abandoned city we drove by?” I slipped out of the car, taking my backpack with me. There was some stuff in the jeep and I didn’t want to let it out of my side long enough for someone to hotwire it, but just in case I could survive with only the backpack.

Negan got out on his side. “Do you have a gun I can have?”

“I do have a gun”, I threw a knife, “but you can’t have it.” I walked over to the walker I had killed, pulled out the knife and killed two others with it. “They make too much noise.”

Negan watched me with a slight expression of awe as the walkers fell dead around me. I strolled back over to the car.

“Keep an eye out”, I told him, but I stayed alert anyway. I didn’t trust him enough to keep those things of my back.

I opened the trunk and rummaged through a duffle bag full of guns until I pulled out a big knife. “Here”, I handed him the knife with sheath, “use that. As I said just mind the biting.”

Negan nodded and put the sheath on the belt of his jeans.

“Stay behind me”, I ordered and headed towards his house. The jeep locked behind me. Quite a few weapons and some other stuff hung in sheaths on my cargo pants. Still from the military days, the sturdy material lend itself to situations like these. 

To my surprise Negan didn’t argue with my order. I shot a look behind me. Negan had the knife in one hand, his eyes as alert as I had seen them since he left that hospital room. Good, he was slowly waking up and realising the shit hole the world had turned into.

The door to his house was open, as expected. The insides ransacked, but by the looks of things only the food had been cleared out. People never thought about how useful a few extra sets of clothes could be until it was too late. Or a good kitchen knife, when you didn’t have a dagger.

I cleared all the rooms with Negan, he brimmed with anger behind me, making the hairs on my neck stand on end, as my body prepared for a fight out of instinct.

After we had made sure that there were no walkers in here, I left him to it. “I’ll wait at the jeep.”

“Don’t drive off without me”, Negan said, but his eyes flew over the destroyed living room, as if he didn’t care much.

“I didn’t take you all this way, to leave you behind”, I said and headed outside. I hadn’t had the best experiences with people this far. The apocalypse killed the good ones to fast and the bad ones survived, but Negan didn’t seem too bad.

I sat down on the roof of the jeep, as it gave me a nice vantage point. A few hundred metres down the road a few walkers shuffled aimlessly around. Their groans telling me that no human was around, or at least not around them.

My eyes continued over the street, lawns and houses, searching for threats. It was the first thing you learned in the army, at least where I had been trained. You either recognized threats or you were dead.

Which is why I heard them come up behind me before I turned around to face them. Five guys, eyes heavy with malice. “Hey there”, the apparent leader of them called, he had hair somewhere between dirty blonde and ginger. “Nice car. Does it still work?”

I didn’t leave the roof, looking down on them, letting them come closer. “Yes.”

“You have some more space, pretty lady?”, he said as he openly leered at me in my black tank top.

My lower arms were covered by thick fabric, to protect me from walker bites and hide the sheathes of the knives I had hidden there, but my cleavage was open. Perfect distraction for stupid guys like this.

I looked his group over. Most of them carried some knives or guns, one of them a crude metal rod. Fighting them would be rather dangerous, but they were civilians. “Sorry, I have to pass.”

His eyes burned with anger. “And here I was asking so nicely.” He drew a gun on me. “Get down and give me the keys. If you keep your pretty mouth shut, I’ll let you come with us, if you please us that is.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and leapt of the roof, straight onto him. He shouted in surprise. We went down together. My knife landed in his throat. His shout was abruptly cut off. With a sweep of my legs two more guys fell down. I was up to disarm the fourth guy. I dodged to avoid the metal rod of the last one, but I knew I wouldn’t be fast enough.

Wood connected with bone. A soft moan and a crack. I threw the fourth guy over my shoulder in a classic judo move and killed him as well. Knife in hand, dripping with blood, I looked up. Negan held a sturdy wooden, baseball bat and bashed the head of the guy with the metal rod in.

The two that I had taken down after the leader, stared wide eyed at Negan as he splattered the brain matter of their friend over the pavement.

“Go”, I said to them, “and don’t even think about using those guns on us.”

They scrambled to their feet and ran off. Negan breathed heavily behind me. I walked over to stab the leader guy in the head, to make sure he wouldn’t come back as a walker either.

Blood and brain matter dripped of the baseball bat. I gave Negan a quick look over to make sure he wasn’t wounded. He had changed pants, a packed sports bag laid not far away. His eyes were a little wild.

“You having fun?”, I asked, stabbing another guy in the head.

Negan stared at me, blinking.

“Your first time, I take it”, I smirked at the phrasing, got a rag and cleaned my knife. “You might want to wash your bat with water or something. It doesn’t get in my car like that.”

“She”, Negan said.

“What?” I sheathed my knife.

“It’s a she. It’s Lucille. It was a gift from her.”

A baseball bat named Lucille? I liked it. “And now it’s the only thing you have left from her?”

A sad expression crossed his face, revealing quite how broken he was. “Yeah.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I had never been good at comforting people. “Clean her up then and let’s go.”

Negan nodded. His movements were stiff at first, like a robot, as he moved through the shock of killing a guy.

I pulled the bodies away from the car, but not very far. Just far enough away not to drive over them. Negan washed Lucille in a rain trough. Once he was done, he grabbed the duffle bag and joined me at the jeep.

“You got everything now?”, I pushed myself off the car, “or do you want to make another stop somewhere?”

“No, we can go”, Negan said and threw the bag on the backseat.

Finally. I started the car and drove off before he could think of something else to do. I couldn’t wait to get out of this place.

“What were you doing in the military?” The window on Negan’s side was open and the wind played with his hair.

“Special Forces.”

“Hot damn!”, I felt his eyes on me. It was the look of admiration and curiosity I always got when I told people that. They wanted to ask what I had done and whether I knew any state secrets. “No wonder you are still alive.”

One side of my mouth curled into a smile.

“Is that why you were thrown into this shit early?”

“Yeah, the government knew of the virus for some time and when it got out of hand, we were sent in to clean up, not knowing how fast it would spread eventually.”

“Fuck, that’s messed up”, Negan stated, his elbow resting on door. “What about your team?”

“I don’t know. We were separated when the evacuation camp we guarded got overrun.” I kept my voice empty, memories from my head. I couldn’t afford to think about my people right now.

“Are we headed north or south?”

“South. Winter will be hard enough as it is”, I shot him a look, “I don’t suppose you have a countryside house or something?”

“Nah, would be to easy, right?” he grinned crookedly.

I snorted and laughed half-heartedly, “yeah.” I had to admit after the shit I had gone through in the past three months it was nice to just talk to someone again. Normally. Without shouting orders or worrying constantly that shit was going to blow up in your face.

“Right”, I said as we hit the highway, “Apocalypse survival 101. Walkers are dangerous, but people are worse. As you probably saw back there.”

Negan nodded, turning his heavy gaze back on me.

“Walkers are predictable. When they bite, they usually head for the belly area or the neck. You can block them pretty well with your arms, though best get some defences”, I lifted an arm with the fabric around them, “your leather jacket will most likely keep of the worst. Walkers can smell you, so you have to treat them like deer when you hunt. Move downwind. They can only be killed by damaging their brain. Blunt force trauma, bullets, knives. You name it. When a person dies, they turn into a walker after a few hours, except of course if you mash their brains.”

“Seriously?”, Negan curled his lips, “we all turn into walkers after death?”

“Yeah, that is why the military fell down. We rescued our guys and boom, walkers, bitten and everything was going downhill real fast.”

“Well, fuck.”

I hummed in agreement, “Walkers don’t get tired, but they aren’t stronger than the average person. They are drawn by human flesh, eating them. They have the tendency to move in herds. You want to avoid those at all costs. Also, noise. Noise attracts them as well.”

Negan let out a breath.

“But as I said. Walkers are easy. They aren’t fast and for sure aren’t smart. Get up high, outrun them, as long as they don’t get you on the ground or surround you, you are fine. Humans though. They turn into real selfish assholes when the world ends.”

“They were selfish assholes before”, Negan mumbled.

“Yeah, but now there are more of them around. Be wary, look for weapons. Trust no one.”

“You count under that rule?” Negan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No. I saved your ass and you saved mine.”

He nodded.

“Try not to kill to many people though.”

“Yeah, no. Stupid. We should work together.”

I was glad he understood. “Cities are dangerous. There are still people mingling around there, herds of walkers, just all the riffraff you don’t want to meet. Also, petrol stations. Dangerous.”

“But I assume we are going to stop at one? And what about the food situation?”

“Yes”, I’d rather not but I would have to. “We’ll sort out the food as we go along. I have a bow and I can make arrows, so hunting will become very important. At the moment you can still find a lot of food through looting and scavenging but eventually it will run out. We’ll have to turn to farming.”

Negan frowned. “You really have this figured out.”

“I was trained to survive. This is how I do it”, I swerved around some abandoned cars. “You can stay with me for as long as you like, as long as you have my back.”

“Girl, you know your shit. I am not going anywhere”, he shot me a grin and I grinned back.

“Glad to hear that. Things can get a little boring when the other party only ever growls at you in return.”

Negan chuckled, “you are in for a treat, love. I am great company.”

The gas station was a mile down the road. We hid behind some cars, my dirty jeep blending in somewhat. “So, what’s the plan?”, Negan asked, Lucille at his side.

“We move off the road, sneak up from the back and check if there are walkers or people around and make sure not to get shot.”

“Solid”, Negan said and followed me into the forest next to the highway. “Are you worried?”

“Worried about getting shot”, I murmured, “and now shut up.”

Negan did as he was told and we looped around the gas station. Dead walkers littered the ground. I held up my hand and Negan stopped. The walkers were relatively fresh.

My eyes scanned the low building. No sniper on the roof, but the insides were dark. I lowered myself to the ground and crawled forward. No shot was fired. When I hit the edge of the forest I stood back up. There was no cover here.

Ducked I hurried over the empty space, Negan close behind me. He was surprisingly quiet for someone this tall, and good in shape. He must have done a lot to keep fit before this.

The backdoor to the gas station was open. Standing next to it rather than in front of it, I opened it. Two shots were fired, “go away!”

The noise went of like a small bomb. I was glad for the ear protection I had put on prior to this. Negan probably too.

Negan and I exchanged a glance. The voice was young and panicked. “We just want some gas”, I called back.

Silence.

“You’re a woman…”

“I am”, I knew what the girl was aiming at. “But I do have a guy with me.”

“He can fill the car outside, you can come in”, she decided.

“Don’t”, Negan said, “it could be a trap.”

He wasn’t wrong. I shot him a look and ducked down again moving into the doorway. The girl sat at the end of the storage room. I could tell she was hurt by the way she held her right leg. She couldn’t be older than sixteen.

She had the gun pointed at me, but her hand shook badly, “tell him to go away.”

I loosened the car keys from my belt and held them out to Negan. “Get the car.”

“You sure about this?”

“Yeah and don’t come in”, I ordered, putting on my military tone of voice.

For a moment nothing happened and then Negan’s steps moved away.


	13. Hobbit Crossover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all Happy New year everybody! And sorry for the long wait. The end of the year with christmas and everything is always super busy. I can't promise to be back on schedule just yet, but I'll try my best. 
> 
> So, I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. It is an older oneshot as well. I still think the idea is hilarious. 
> 
> Warnings: Some light gore, strong language and a little bit of sex talk

Something kept me awake but I wasn’t quite sure what it was. I wasn’t good at sleeping outside on the hard forest floor in general, but tonight was even worse.

Bombur leaned against a rock, keeping watch, even though he looked barely awake. He didn’t seem to notice anything but over the concert of snores coming from the dwarves it was rather hard to hear.

Stifling a frustrated sigh, I sat up on my bedroll. The cold night air grazed my skin as I hurriedly threw on my sweatshirt jacket, that had somehow managed to survive three months in middle earth so far and the dark grey fabric didn’t even look too bad.

Bilbo slept nearby, curled up under a big cloak. He had slept equally bad as in the beginning, but somehow adapted to the snoring faster than I or the constant moving and horse riding tired him more than it did me.

Gandalf laid not far behind him. He looked awake when sleeping, which was strange, if you didn’t know he was a wizard. His tall staff rested against a rock, close enough to grab if necessary.

And then all around were thirteen dwarves in various shapes and sizes. The only thing they had in common was the snoring. Even Kili and Fili snored!

Shaking my head, I slipped out of my bedroll and into my modern combat boots. I quickly tightened them around my feet as I had learned in the army and stood up, grabbing my sword. I didn’t bother fastening the sheath to my belt. Even though I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t expect a battle or anything. My feet carried me over to the horses to our left. Bombur didn’t even so much as glance in my direction.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was asleep. The dwarves had a carelessness to them sometimes that drove me up a wall. It could get us all killed and that was the last thing I needed. Especially after almost dying because some asshole deity had dropped me into middle earth.

My chestnut mare Christmas raised her head when I joined the horses. A few laid on the ground sleeping, trusting in their herd mates to keep watch over them and no horse on watch duty would ever fall asleep. They still knew how dangerous the nights out here could be.

Christmas was a strange horse. I mean she had arrived with me in middle earth, without me knowing the horse and just followed me around all the time. She had saved my life more than once, but I had no idea why she was here. Maybe the same asshole deity that had dropped me in an alternate universe was trying to appease me.

The faint screeching of some creature reached my ears. I turned my head, trying to listen better as Christmas sniffed at my jacket, expecting a treat. I still had some apple slices for her, but my thoughts were distracted by the sounds. They were very far away but jogged my memory just enough.

My head snapped up when I suddenly recognized the sounds. Orcs! “Holy shit!”, I cursed and started running in the direction of the orcs.

“Bombur, wake the others!” I shouted, not sure if the dwarf heard me. By the sound of things, the orcs were definitely fighting something or someone.

Christmas snorted nervously and trotted after me. Unlike the other horses she wasn’t tied down. She never ran away. Once she had defended me against a pack of wolves instead of running. I bet she was a magical horse, there couldn’t be another reason for her acting more like an oversized fight dog.

The light of the fire faded behind me. I pelted through the forest towards the sound of the fighting. I hated fighting orcs. They freaked me out beyond measure with their ugly faces and mean laughter but if there was a person in trouble I couldn’t just stand back and let them die just because I was afraid of orcs.

I burst out into a clearing and drew my sword in the same motion, dropping the sheath on the ground. A few orcs turned towards me. I dodged the first blade, beheaded the second, whirled around and stabbed the first one, before I turned to the next orc with an overhead strike.

Out of the corner of my mind I noticed a man fighting the orcs. He was surrounded by them on all sides and swinging a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire.

Another blade came my way. I hastily had to dodge. My mind had no chance to linger on the baseball bat or the fact that no one in middle earth should have one.

The orcs screeched in anger or surprise, it was hard to tell, when they noticed my attack to their backs. They tried to surround me as they had the man, but there weren’t enough of them around anymore.

The baseball bat made a sick crunch connecting to the head of an orc. Black blood splattered on my face. I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. After your first load of orc blood, you remembered.

The last few orcs exchanged glances. I beheaded two more of them. They tried to scurry away. I grabbed my throwing knives. They flew without a sound, hitting their marks. Only our panting and a soft gurgling could be heard. 

My chest heaved. I picked up my sword, which I had dropped in favour of throwing two knives at once, and turned to give the man a once over. He was tall with strong shoulders and a narrow waist, emphasized by a nice leather jacket. Around his neck sat a red scarf. He wore leather boots, but they leaned more towards cowboy than combat and brown pants with two belts. One looked like it was supposed to hold a gun, and there was a knife sheath as well, with the knife still inside. The baseball bat rested in his right hand, which stuck in a leather glove.

He had black hair, slicked back against his head, a salt and pepper beard and probably brown eyes. It was hard to say with the low light.

“Well fuck me!” he said and the voice was just as familiar as the whole image of him.

My brain froze. This could not be happening. This just couldn’t be.

“What are those ugly fuckers?”, Negan prodded at an orc with Lucille, “if they are some kind of new walker, then I am not amused. Ugly fucks.”

I stared. My brain completely failed me. One would think after being dropped in middle earth this wouldn’t be strange. But it fucking was.

Negan, because it could only be Negan, I mean he looked exactly like him and talked like him, turned back to me. “Hello? Sweety? Am I speaking Spanish or something?”

I shook my head. My sword hung useless at my side. Orc blood dripped from the tip. “Those are orcs.”

“Orcs?”, Negan echoed, “the fuck are orcs?”

“Well, those things.” _Wow, very intelligent Elodie_.

“No shit. But what are they? Are they like walkers?”

“Walkers?”

Negan narrowed his eyes at me, swinging Lucille lightly. “Where have you been the past few years? You know Zombies? The world ended?”

I shook my head, to clear my thoughts. This could not be happening. Christmas stepped out of the forest behind me and I leaned against her. “There are no zombies here.”

“I find that fucking hard to believe”, Negan’s eyes were hard. I might have been intimidated if I hadn’t been so fucking weirded out. “And where is here?”

I grimaced. This couldn’t go over well. “Middle Earth.”

Negan frowned and I straightened at the tension that ran through his body. I might be weirded out but he was dangerous. I should remember that, before I fawned over his rather handsome face. Not that I was fawning just yet. “Middle Earth? Are you fucking with me?”

“I wish I was fucking with you” -ups I had said that out loud. My cheeks heated up. Negan cocked an eyebrow. I bit my lip. “I mean, I swear. You are not on earth anymore.”

Negan looked ready to argue.

The forest quivered behind us. The undergrowth broke as if a small storm came through. The dwarves burst out of it, shouting, weapons raised, with Gandalf looming behind them.

Negan actually seemed taken aback. His fingers around Lucille tightened. He towered over everybody except Gandalf, but he was only taller because of his pointed hat.

“What is going on here?”, Thorin asked. “Are you alright, Elodie?”

“I am fine”, I said, my stomach turning into hard knots. What the fuck was Negan doing here? Someone was seriously trying to mess up the Hobbit with him being here.

“What is this? A medieval fair or what?”, Negan asked. He tried for unimpressed but I had listened to his tone of voice enough to know he was freaked out. 

Thorin narrowed his eyes and scrutinizing Negan. “Who are you?”

Negan grinned, it was the cocky grin I had seen a thousand times in the TV Series. “I am Negan.”

“Did you fight all of the orcs on your own?”, Thorin asked, suspicion dripped heavily from every word.

“Well, sweetcheeks over there helped at the end, but those fuckers aren’t really hard to fight.” Negan waved Lucille around, the cocky grin plastered to his face like in a commercial.

“Show some manners!”, Dori snapped, “that is not how you speak to a Lady.”

Negan chuckled and turned to me. “Are you a lady? With that sword in hand, you look way to badass to be one.”

I wasn’t even sure what to answer. I mean, was I supposed to keep Negan alive? Well, he hadn’t been sent here to die. Probably. I didn’t believe in coincidences so Negan was here for a reason. I just had to find out what reason.

Negan smirked when I failed to answer. “Lost your tongue, doll?”

And that fucking smirk didn’t help my brain! “No.”

Kili drew his bow, aiming at Negan. “Her name is Elodie.”

Negan scoffed. I guess he had had many weapons pointed at his face to still be freaked out by it. “Do you even know how to aim with that thing, little man?”

“Right, that’s enough”, I stepped forward, placing myself between Negan and Kili. I was not about to let Negan die. Not before I had figured out what the fuck was going on. “Kili take down the bow.”

Kili scowled in irritation. “He deserves a good ass kicking for calling you all those things!”

“If you can reach my ass that is.” How could one man sound this smug?

I pointed my blade at Negan. “Don’t antagonize them. I am trying to keep you alive here.”

Negan raised his eyebrows. He clearly had a hard time believing all of this was happening. At least he shut up. Then I turned back to Kili. “He can call me whatever he likes” -I was going to regret saying that, I knew it as soon as it left my mouth- “that is not the problem here. We should keep going, who knows if some orc scouts got away.”

Thorin shook his head. “We can’t trust him.”

“We can’t just leave him here”, I argued, keeping Negan in my peripheral vision while still standing between him and the dwarves.

Thorin met my gaze. And his was unyielding. I had rarely met a man with such a hard stare. “He looks to be able to fend for himself.”

“Don’t be foolish, Thorin”, Gandalf said, “this man is clearly not from around here. To leave him to be caught by the enemy would be madness.”

I was surprised by the support of the wizard. But he had insisted on me accompanying the dwarves as well, so he probably knew more than he let on. Gandalf always knew more than he let on.

Thorin pursed his lips in anger.

“And we don’t have all night to discuss this either”, the wizard added.

“We are not responsible for him”, Thorin reminded me of a child.

I sighed and turned my head when Negan came closer, invading my personal space. He had managed to stay quiet for surprisingly long.

Gandalf glared and walked over to Thorin, muttering something I couldn’t hear. Thorin shook his head. His glare equally as impressive as Gandalf’s. Thorin would not give in easily.

My hand tightened around my blade and I walked over to the dwarf king. “Thorin a word, please?”

Thorin nodded and I turned to Negan, pointing my blade once more for emphasis. “Behave yourself!”

“I always behave myself.” The smirk accompanying the words did nothing to help his case. It must have shown on my face because he laughed. It was a nice laugh, my stomach fluttered involuntarily.

Thorin and I stepped to the side.

“Look Thorin, I get why you don’t want to take him with us. He is a strange man, that just showed up and bashed some orc heads in while we are on a dangerous and secret mission.”

Thorin nodded, eyes lighting up a little at my understanding. A little in this case meant from deadly storm to thunderstorm but since Thorin’s expression had a range of stormy to hurricane this was an improvement.

“But I want you to think this through. I know where this man is from. I know what he can do and I can tell you, you want him as a friend rather than an enemy.”

Thorin’s hurricane expression returned. He was like a honey badger. If threatened he fought and he fought when not threatened. No matter how big the enemy. I barged ahead before he could interrupt me.

“He is smart, a strategist, he knows how to convince people of what he wants, charming, enigmatic, you name it. He would have made a great general if he was born here. He is also a good fighter and he knows how to take care of himself. He won’t be a deadweight to the company.”

Despite the stormy expression, I could tell he was thinking. “You just told me how dangerous he is, why would I want to take him? He has nothing to do with this.”

“I know, but if we leave him here, then it is going to come back and bite us in the ass, trust me. I can feel it. He’ll be back in six months or maybe twelve with half an army and one hell of a grudge”, I held Thorin’s gaze. Something I usually wasn’t overly fond of doing, because Thorin had a hard stare, but this was important. We needed Negan to tag along. He was here for a reason.

Thorin crossed his arms. “How do you know him?”

“I don’t know him personally. There are stories about him at my home, just like there are about you.” Good thing Gandalf had told Thorin about my real home. It made all of this so much easier.

“And what if we just kill him?”

“NO!”, I quickly lowered my voice, casting a glance over my shoulder. Negan watched with rapt attention. Could he lip read? “You can’t do that Thorin. We are here for a reason. As much as I hate this situation, it is no coincidence and you know it. By the way could you just kill someone in cold blood?”

Thorin’s shoulders sagged. “No, but after everything you told me, I can’t just take him with us. He’ll have to be tied up.”

I took a breath of relief. “Thank you, Thorin.”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“You won’t.”

Thorin nodded and we walked back to the company. Everybody watched us with curious faces. They knew something was up with me and that Thorin was in on it and I bet their curiosity was killing them.

Thorin looked at Negan, who met his stare unimpressed, but from what I had seen on TV, Negan had an equally mean glare. “You can come, but only if you surrender your weapons and be tied up.”

“Why do I need to be tied up?”, Negan smirked and looked at me, “I promise I’ll behave myself.” He drew his tongue over his lower lip, somehow opposing his statement.

My stomach tightened. Apparently, my brain put Negan firmly into the sex on legs category. I shook my head. At myself and at him. “Just be glad you can come along.”

Anger showed on Negan’s face, but at the same time he was too smart to argue with thirteen armed dwarves and a wizard. “Fine”, he held out his bat to me, “will you take care of Lucille?”

“I’ll treat her with the same care I treat my sword”, I said and took the baseball bat from him, as well as his knife. He frowned at the empty gun holster, as if he couldn’t remember where the gun had gone. Probably stolen by the same deity that had placed him here.

Negan looked over my still bloody blade. “I sure hope you do.” There was the hint of a threat in his voice, but with the dwarves around me it didn’t bother me as much as it probably should.

I nodded at him and we walked back towards camp.

“We’ll break camp right away”, Thorin announced when we reached the fire lit clearing.

Negan looked around, scanning everything. He reminded me of a soldier, trying to turn a situation around for himself. He didn’t argue when Nori came to tie him up. It made me suspicious.

“Just make sure that he can still feel his fingers at the end of the day Nori”, I said, sitting down to quickly clean my blade with a rag.

Nori shot me a look. “This is not the first time I tie people up.”

I raised my eyebrows and Negan chuckled. Nori frowned at the both of us, as if the sexual innuendo had flown straight past his head.

“Negan, are you alright with it, if I put Lucille in some sort of a sheath? She will be hard to transport otherwise.”

Negan turned to me. Just saying his name was weird. And I thought after being dropped in middle earth nothing could surprise me anymore. I hated being wrong. “What sort of sheath?”

I leaned over and pulled a leather bag out of my actual backpack. I had found it in one of the back rooms of Bag End and thought it might be useful. Only the barbwire tip would vanish in the bag and it should be sturdy enough, so it wouldn’t be messed up by the sharp barb wire.

Negan nodded in approval and after cleaning Lucille as good as I could, I put her in the bag. I cleaned my face last but the drying orc blood itched too much to leave it on. I still felt some orc blood in my brows, but that would have to wait till we rested again. I didn’t have time to wash myself properly. 

“I hate just standing around doing nothing.”

“It’s silly”, I shoved my spare pair of socks in my bag. I shot a look behind me to make sure that no one was listening. “Thorin doesn’t want you to be a deadweight and then ties you up so that you don’t have much of a choice but to be one.”

Negan smirked but it was grim rather than cocky. “Not the sharpest tool in the shed.”

I grinned a little, “possibly not.” And considering future events that wasn’t the best thing out there. I stood up to saddle Christmas and care for the other horses.

Negan trailed after me. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

“Are you thirsty?”, I nodded towards the waterskin next to my pack and put the saddle on Christmas.

He bent down to pick the waterskin up, surprisingly deft with tied hands. This was not his first time being bound. I watched him put the waterskin to his mouth. His Adams apple jumped as he swallowed the water, a drop of it ran down his chin.

Negan caught me looking -not that I had been very secretive about it- and put the waterskin down, “like what you see darling?”

Heat shot into my face. I whirled back around to care for the rest of the horses. Negan’s deep chuckle resonated in my ears. My heart skipped a beat. This was bad! Crushing on Negan would only get me in even more trouble, which was hardly possible you’d think.

Soon most of the dwarves joined up and I put the saddlebags on Christmas, making sure everything was secured before I led her to where Negan leaned against a tree, watching me way to intensely. As if he wanted to eat me whole and I wouldn’t say no! Good god, I was either underfucked or crushing way too hard. Or maybe both.

“How is he going to keep up?” Dwalin muttered to Thorin.

“We should make him walk behind the horses”, Fili said with a frown on his face.

“What good would it be to have horses, if one of us has to walk behind?”, irritation clipped my voice. “He can ride with me.”

“Absolutely not!”, Fili said.

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him, “And who are you to tell me no?”

“Have you not paid any attention, Elodie?”, Fili asked and lowered his voice, “do you know how he looks at you?”

I rolled my eyes. I bet Negan was smiling behind me like Cheshire cat. “He has his hands tied, Fili. What do you think he can do? Not to mention that I am armed and now how to deal with overzealous men.”

Fili opened his mouth to argue again but was interrupted by Negan who walked up behind me, close enough for our shoulders to brush. “You heard the woman.”

The hairs on my neck rose from his proximity. I might want to fuck him but I didn’t like people behind me.

Fili glared at Negan. “You stay out of this.”

Negan leaned forward. His warmth seeped through my clothes. His bound hands dangerously close to my ass. His breath whispered past my ear, sending shivers down my neck. “Oh, I think not.”

“Negan”, I turned around to him, which put us very close together, like kissing distance. Quickly I took a step back and he turned those dark eyes to me, grin back on his face, trying its best to distract me. “Why don’t you go and mount up?”

Negan licked his lip again and I followed the motion with my eyes before I could stop myself. At least he didn’t comment on that as he headed to Christmas.

“We don’t have time to discuss this Fili”, my heart beat in my throat when I turned back to the dwarf, “we should choose a brisk pace, to leave the orcs behind us and riding with me is the best choice. I am the lightest on the biggest horse.”

“I don’t like it.”

“But it is the best idea”, Dwalin didn’t look happy about it either, “if he tries anything, I am going to split his skull”.

I rolled my eyes again at the overprotective dwarves and walked over to my mare. Negan sat proudly in the saddle, like a toddler on a pony fair. Christmas ears played nervously. Lucille was in a bag to the side, the grip in reach when you sat in the saddle. Negan didn’t look half bad on the horse either.

“So, how do I look, darling?”, he asked, that insufferable grin on his face.

“Wonderful, you are just missing the cowboy hat”, I said dryly and stepped next to my mare, “move over.”

“I can ride.”

“I bet you can, but this is my horse, so I’ll take the reins”, I said, my voice filled with steel. I liked Christmas more than most people.

Negan sighed but returned to smiling when he slipped behind the saddle. I mounted up, making sure not to hit him in the face with my shoe. He scooted closer once more. His tied hands, the saddlebags and bedroll kept some distance between us, making sure that he couldn’t press that pretty chest of his against my back. I wasn’t sure if even the night could have hidden my blush if he had done so. Or kept me from hopelessly fawning and fucking him in the next bush. Not too bad of a plan if you asked me. And Negan would probably be up for it.

All around us dwarves mounted up and watched Negan suspiciously.

“You’d think I killed all their children”, Negan mumbled.

“I know right.”

“They aren’t that suspicious towards you.”

I smirked, “I am a woman.” I picked up the reins and Christmas started moving, “and I hope you can ride, this is going to be a long one.”

“Don’t you worry about me, love.”

I rolled my eyes. That would become a habit. Why did I even bother?


	14. Cavalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot diggity dawg! I am actually on schedule! I am impressed by myself. Now, we have one mention of rape, and some walker death no real gore though, apart from that there's nothing I can think of the top of my head. Not the longest chapter either, but a fun little idea.

I had barely gotten out of Sanctuary when the Alexandrians flooded the place with walkers. The snipers trying to kill me certainly hadn’t made it any easier. Of course, my mother was only up in arms once I was shot at. She wasn’t a big fan of Negan. But she couldn’t stand people shooting at her daughter, even if it was her foolish daughter.

So, I had managed to mobilize the Amazons without much trouble. Now we headed in battle formation down the street towards Sanctuary. The herd had become quieter since I had left, leaving a bad feeling in my stomach and a sour taste in my mouth.

“Asking for permission to break rank and scout ahead”, I asked my mother as the feeling got worse. And in a post-apocalyptic world it was a good principle to trust your gut.

My mother nodded, “permission granted.”

She sat on a horse next to me. Her leaf crown put her apart from the other mounted archers. Even Finriel’s harness and tack had some extra adornments, marking her as the queen of the Amazons. The grey gelding certainly looked the part.

We had four rows of foot soldiers in front of us with gambeson and leather clothes, perfect for keeping away walkers, but not so good against bullets. Behind the foot soldiers came the mounted archers. We’d fire over the head of the soldiers to clear the walkers. Cavalry and walkers were a tricky thing but with a good spear and shield battle formation even big herds could be taken down.

Our scouts had not yet reported back, so I would have to be careful with the snipers, but they were focused on keeping people in and not on keeping them out or away from Sanctuary. At least I hoped they weren’t.

My sister threw me a curious glance. Her leaf crown smaller than our mother’s. “Where are you going?”

“The herd is too quiet”, I said and moved out of the five rows of cavalry to canter down the road. All of the horses wore hoof boots, to make them quiet on the asphalt and protect the hooves and joints. Still, I was no big fan of cantering on the hard roads.

Akari stretched beneath me into the canter, happy to get a move on. The chestnut Arabian thoroughbred mare wasn’t one for slow and relaxed walks. She wanted to charge forward and if she could trample a few walkers on the way even better.

One of the stallions behind us whinnied but my mare just pinned her ears and kept going down the road. She knew where we were going. We had ridden up and down this highway on patrol more than once, when we had stayed at Sanctuary.

My heart ached, worry turning my stomach into hard knots. Negan couldn’t be dead. He had managed to fight his way through the herd to get into the main building. He trusted me to come and save his guys with my people. He hadn’t wanted to let me go originally, with the snipers around the compound but food and water were running out.

My mother didn’t like men and my sister didn’t either. That is why she had founded the Amazons in the post-apocalyptic world. Only women and boys under sixteen were allowed to stay with us. It was a harsh rule, but most of the women who joined us had either lost everybody they cared for and or were raped. I had avoided that particular fate and was generally known among them for my soft spot for men. Not that Negan was an ordinary man.

My heart froze when the Sanctuary came into view. A truck had crashed through the big gates and the main part of the herd had vanished inside the building. “Shit.”

A bullet hit the pavement in front of me and I gave the sniper my middle finger. He had given of a warning shot. A second later flares flew into the air. Our scouts had taken out the snipers.

I smirked despite the fear squirming in my belly. I could only pray they had managed to hold off the herd inside. Fighting them wouldn’t be any harder now, but I couldn’t bear the thought that Negan was dead. I didn’t even want to think about it.

With the snipers taken care of I hurried back to the others, they were marching in a light trot, with the horses snorting behind, not yet breaking a sweat. My mother had trained them well.

“We saw the flares”, she said, “but you still look like you have seen a ghost.”

“The herd managed to break through into the building.” My hands tightened around the reins.

The jaw of my mother tensed, “how?”

“Someone drove a truck through the front gates.”

My mother’s lips curled in disgust as I took my place again.

“Cowards, there are children and defenceless people in there.”

“I told you the Alexandrians are ruthless”, I drew my bow. We moved around the bend and Sanctuary came into view.

My sister screwed her nose. “What an ugly building. How could you stand it here?”

My eyes wandered over the old factory. I loved the view from the roof. You had a great vantage point. The back of the Sanctuary had fields and places for animals. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it looked, but my mother and sister were at home in the forest and my heart was here. Not with the building but with the leader of the Saviours.

She rolled her eyes when she caught my gaze. “God, you look like a love sick puppy.”

“I feel a little more murderous than that”, I glared at her, “and it’s not as bad as it looks.”

“If you say so”, she clearly didn’t believe the last part of my statement. I couldn’t blame her.

“Slow down”, my mother shouted and we slowed. Shields were raised when a few walkers turned our way. The spears pointed forward.

I knocked and arrow. The others followed suit.

“Hold line. Remember, the dead do not rule us”, my mother called out, “they are ruled by us. They will fall beneath our spears and arrows.”

We let out a war chant. It was a low hum, but it drew the attention of the walkers very effectively. We came up on the flat stretch of road and the former parking lot of the Sanctuary.

I saw a few people peek out of the windows up top. They probably didn’t believe their eyes when they saw a medieval type battle formation coming for the walkers, with cavalry and archers.

The foot soldiers took out the first row and the arrows were let lose all on command of my mother. Her leaf crown moved in the wind. I had forgone any head jewellery. I wasn’t going to lead the Amazons any time soon and I didn’t want to. I was perfectly content at Sanctuary. As strange as that might be.

Much like a roman legion the foot troops moved forward with trusted thrusts of their spears. All at once. They never faltered. Arrows took out rows upon rows of walkers behind them. Shields and armour made sure that any stragglers didn’t get a chunk out of our people.

“Draw them out of the building”, my mother shouted when we pushed forward through the broken fences and into the main courtyard of Sanctuary, leaving a trail of dead walkers behind us.

We rose our voices into another chant, making enough noise to wake, or in this case, draw the dead out through the holes on either side of the truck. Killing them as they were funnelled through the small holes left and right of the truck was way too easy and sooner than later, we had to move the bodies to make sure that the dead behind them could get through.

In under half an hour the whole heard was cleared. It was easier when they were contained like this. The trick was to not let them surround you and if they did, have a shield wall ready. That was the only way to fight a herd, if they surrounded you.

As soon as the path was cleared, I holstered my bow and leapt of Akari. I gave her reins to someone to my left and ran inside the building.

“Don’t be foolish, Nell!”, my mother shouted.

I didn’t stop. The voice of my mother bounced back from the harsh stone of the factory. I drew my sword and killed to walkers straggling in the main hall. The ground floor of Sanctuary was completely destroyed.

Glass, bullets and dead bodies laid everywhere. A few had been killed but not yet reanimated. I left them there for the others to take care of and headed towards the stairs. They had managed to kill the walkers quickly enough to pile up the bodies, erecting a rather gruesome barricade.

People gathered atop the stairs as I angrily pushed the bodies away. Why were the walkers so fricking heavy? Soon amazons and people form the top helped me until I could get through. They parted like the red sea as I stormed through. It might be the murderous expression on my face, hiding the fear ravaging my bones.

“Where is Negan?”, I asked. I knew they recognized me. I hadn’t put on my much warpaint, due to the flesh wound on my cheek where the bullet had grazed me. It stung, now I remembered it was even there.

“I am right here, love”, Negan strutted towards me. His trademark cocky grin on his face and I felt dizzy with relief. Only discipline kept me from dropping my blade. Instead, I handed it to someone, trusting they’d keep it safe and launched myself at Negan.

Laughing he caught me, as if he hadn’t been an breath away from death and wrapped his arms around me. “You are the most badass woman I have ever met, you know that?”, he whispered softly in my ear.

My heart fluttered. The fear finally settled. Negan was fine. I was fine. We had taken care of the walkers. We were safe.

Negan leaned back to kiss me but stopped. His brows furrowed in an impressive frown, that had never impressed me. His eyes stuck to the gash on my cheek. His thumb trailed below it, softly. He’d never hurt me. “What happened there?”

“One of the snipers, when I escaped”, I said, my hands wandering to his neck, “when I saw the walkers inside. I thought they had gotten you.”

Negan scoffed, “oh please. It takes more than a few walkers to take me down.” He grinned again, “but I love that you are worried about me.”

I tugged lightly at his neck, to pull him down to kiss me. Still smiling he complied and Negan being Negan he did not keep the kiss chaste.

“Hm, you missed me”, he hummed at my lips, but his eyes darkened when he saw the gash on my cheek, “I want to introduce the fucker who did that to you to Lucille. You could have fucking died!” His hands tightened around my waist.

“But I didn’t”, my fingers played with the hair at the base of the neck in an effort to soothe him, “and you didn’t either. I think we can count ourselves lucky.”

Negan sighed and then raised his gaze behind me, he smirked, “well, if it isn’t the Amazon Queen herself.”

I stepped back to be able to see my mother. She towered over most people and her face was cool and collected. My sister stood at her side, not quite as tall as our mother, looking around more curiously. Four more Amazons stood on the walkway behind them. The rest took care of the dead that were about to reanimate downstairs or guarded the outside.

Negan hinted at a bow, with that silly smile of his, “thanks for coming to our rescue. Things were getting a little tight in here.”

My mother nodded, “that is what allies are for.” She looked at me, “and I did not want to risk my daughter’s happiness, no matter what I might think about you.”

Negan tugged me closer to him and I couldn’t help but smile, “your daughter is amazing.” He loudly clanked Lucille against the metal railing, “Now, we have some work to do. I don’t suppose you’d want to help us fight the idiots who tried to take us down?”

My mother shook her head, “that is not our fight. I will leave some people here to guard the Sanctuary and make sure your non-combatants are safe, but we will not get engaged any further in your war.”

Negan shrugged, “I guess that is fair. You already saved our asses after all.” He looked at me with those wonderfully dark green eyes, “and what about you my Amazon princess?”

“I’ll fight with you”, I said, “no matter what.”

He kissed me again, “god you are hot.”

My heart fluttered and I couldn’t quite believe the luck we had. This had been a rather impossible situation to survive for him especially but here we were, still together, ready to go to war.


	15. Who the fuck are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, as soon as I am on schedule once, I fall of it immediately. Can't promise how the schedule will hold up, started a new job.   
> Funny story, I edited this chapter while watching TWD, so I have no idea how well it'll hold up. Also took probably double the time, I would have usually but ah well. 
> 
> As for warnings, nothing really apart from swearing I think. It's not very intense.

Clover’s hooves clacked loudly on the abandoned streets. They seemed to echo louder now that there were less people around. The gates of Alexandria appeared up ahead. Impressive for the post apocalypse and yet always kind of rackety. Home nonetheless. 

The street in front of the walled settlement had been cleared of most cars. Leaving a part for a bigger one. A truck maybe? Weird.  _ Why would do that? _ More importantly where had he found the gas for that? All the cars had been siphoned. We had triple checked. 

Graham was on guard duty and his eyes widened when he recognized me. “Oh wow, Velvet. I didn’t… I mean great that you are back.” 

I rolled my eyes. The residents of Alexandria never expected me back when I went on one of my expeditions. I vanished for weeks on end to return with locations of food, weapons and other things to get with the car.  _ You think eventually they’d expect me back _ .  _ Or maybe not, considering the world we live in.  _ Never expect anything good and you can’t be disappointed. Not the worst mindset to have. 

He scrambled to get the gate and I rode past him. Clover snorted in his face with pinned ears. 

Graham stumbled backwards. “Rick isn’t home.” 

“Okay.”

The residents of Alexandria thought me strange. No one could understand how I wanted to be alone out there. Well, I had my horse, but no one understood her either. Clover had been a wild mustang once and she didn’t like humans very much. She hadn’t liked me very much in the beginning either. Wounded and trapped as she was. 

The palomino mare knew the way to our house and the stables further in the back. The reins hung loose over her neck, swaying with her relaxed gait. One ear forward, the other ear back, always ready listening. 

A black truck stood right behind the gate. Startlingly close, blocking most of the road access. The hood was warm, the air above flickered. I couldn’t really match it with any of the residents of Alexandria. Of course, I had been gone for three weeks so they might have made some new friends or just acquired the truck another way. It looked surprisingly well taken care of. 

Clover walked down the street towards our house. Pretty eager for her usual self. She might have been wild once but she liked coming home here for at least a little while. 

A stranger sat on our porch, in our rocking chairs, with Judith on his lap and Carl next to him. Judith was asleep on his chest. My hand found the hilt of my sword as I scanned the man with a scowl. 

He was tall, by the looks of his long legs stuck in dark jeans. Dark boots and a white shirt made up for a nice outfit considering the post apocalypse. There was a white bandage around his left wrist. A baseball bat wrapped in barbwire rested against the table between the two chairs. 

Carl looked like he wanted to murder someone, but to be honest that was his default look these days. His eye widened when he saw me. The bandage over the other was gone. Good for him, he didn’t need it and he shouldn’t be ashamed of it. 

By the tension in Carl’s shoulders I could tell he didn’t like the man. Which didn’t have to mean much but since I didn’t know the guy, I put him in the dangerous category. Most people who survived this long were dangerous. 

My focus returned to the man. Black hair, stubbly greying beard, a roughly handsome look, closing in on the end of his forties. He was surprisingly good in shape with strong shoulders and a slim waist. A leather jacket hugged the chair behind him. I resisted the urge to sneer. He looked like a bad guy. He couldn’t have looked more like a bad guy if he had it written on his forehead. 

I stopped Clover in front of the house and leapt off. “Who the fuck are you?”, I asked, marching towards him, my protectiveness of my little sister getting the better of me. Technically a cousin but for everything that was left of my little family she was my sister. My sword remained in its sheath for the moment, I didn’t like drawing weapons in front of Judith. 

A woman stepped in my way. She was taller than me, but not by much with dark golden skin, darker hair and dark eyes that tried to look threatening. 

I barely stopped in time to not run her over. “Out of my way.” 

“Make me.”

The man chuckled in amusement, deep in his chest. It was a nice sound, to be honest, if I hadn’t been so pissed off that is. “As much as I’d like to see that. Let her through, Arat.” 

Carl moved, “Vel.”-

“No, let her introduce herself”, the man said with a deep baritone voice. Dark eyes fixed on me. 

I marched past his silly bodyguard and up the porch. If looks could kill, he’d be a pile of ash, though then Carl would have taken care of the job long before I arrived. From this distance his eyes were green and not brown. Why did I even notice that? 

The man lounged in the chair, as if I couldn’t murder him on the spot. It could have been intimidating, for a movie character or the like. He reminded me of a TV villian. 

“I repeat myself. Who the fuck are you?” 

“Now, now. I am known for my bad mouth but aren’t you worried about this little darling picking up bad words?”, he said with a sparkle in his pretty eyes. 

“No, I am not”, I stared down at him, my sword basically whispering to draw it and kill him. “Carl take her.” 

Carl stood up, looking at the man somewhat unsure. 

My blood boiled. What had he done around here to make Carl act like that? He smirked. I wanted to punch that smirk off his face. 

“Sure, take her, Carl.” He drawled the name. 

Carl took Judith. His eyes found mine. He was trying to tell me something. I nodded reassuringly at him. I had this handled, whatever this was. When he had vanished with Judith inside the house the man stood up and towered over me. I had been towered over all my life, same old, same old. 

“I am Negan”, he finally introduced himself. I wouldn’t have asked another time, “and who are you that you haven’t heard of me yet?” He grinned and leaned forward, invading my personal space. I didn’t move an inch, I knew the tactic. “Even more importantly. Who are you that I haven’t met you before.” His hand moved towards my face. I grabbed his wrist. I felt Arat move behind us. 

“If she doesn’t back off, I’ll kill her and I won’t even have to look at her.” My eyes never left his face. 

His eyes were alight with laughter as if this was a fun game for him. Absolutely no fear. “Oh, you are a tough one. It’s okay Arat. I have this little hotshot handled.” He had me handled? My fingers around his wrist tightened, keeping me from erupting into violence. He leaned forward even further. He was close enough to kiss. “You have those damn fucking eyes. You are one of Rick’s, aren’t you?” 

_ Should I headbutt him? Kissing him might also be an idea _ . Both options seemed somewhat interesting. I did neither. At least I was disciplined. “I am his niece.” 

“His niece huh”, he leaned back somewhat. His eyes wandered over my body, almost like a physical touch. The trail of a finger. 

I probably didn’t look very intimidating from his eyes. My dark, straight hair was thick enough to be like a curtain. It was in a tight braid, but that didn’t hide how silky it was, with strands escaping here and there, pale blue eyes, the same as Rick and Carl’s. Pale skin, now tanned. Muscled, very muscled, but curvy nonetheless. 

“Now, aren’t you something else”, he grinned as if he had just found the best cake, “tell me, where have you been all this fucking time?” 

“I was out, exploring.” 

He looked at Clover behind me, “just with the horse?” 

“Yes.” 

“Damn. Are you a fucking one woman army or what?” 

“Yes.” 

His eyes sparkled again. He was enjoying this, “you like your fucking one word answers, don’t you?” 

“Yes”, I said, not quite able to hide the amusement from my eyes. 

Negan grinned. Wide, white and charming. “And what is your name, beautiful?” 

I scoffed at the pet name. This guy walked a thin line between charismatic and overbearingly annoying. “I am Velvet.” 

“What a hot fucking name!” 

I leaned back against the railing of the porch. My hand dropped from his wrist and the other stopped hovering over my sword. I wasn’t so sure about the danger level of this guy, or at least the immediate danger level of the guy. He acted more like he wanted to fuck me. 

“I have the feeling that your standard of hot is not very high.” 

“Ouch”, Negan said, but didn’t seem bothered, “you have a sharp tongue on you.” 

“Hm, I am very skilled with my tongue.” Someone put my brain back on a leash. Why was I like this with dangerous bad boys? That guy ticked all the boxes. Handsome, tall, good in shape, dangerous. 

“Are you now”, he nearly purred and leaned forward once more. The guy knew how to use his sex appeal. Most overly confident guys weren’t that smooth, so this was nice. He wasn’t afraid. He played. It had been some time since I met guys like him. 

I placed a firm hand on his chest, keeping him at bay. “And what the fuck are you doing here, Negan?”, I breathed out his name and I saw him react to it. His eyes darkened, his muscles tensed. Yeah, he definitely thought I was hot. 

He leaned against my hand, testing my strength. I managed to hold him there for now, but it wasn’t easy. 

“I am friends with your uncle. Rick and I have come to an agreement.” 

Friends. Right. Who did he think he was shitting? “Uh-hu, what sort of agreement?”, it couldn’t be a good one with Carl glaring like that. 

“I provide safety and get half of your shit.” 

“Safety?”, I echoed. Was this guy for real? Safety was an illusion, which I had realised way too early in life. “Is that why no one is carrying a gun anymore? To keep us  _ safe _ ?” 

“No one but you”, he ignored my scathing tone, “which we will have to rectify.” 

My lips twitched, I couldn’t help it. His confidence was somewhat cute. “Who? You and your little lapdog?” 

“Don’t antagonize Arat, she is tougher than she looks”, Negan suddenly sounded like my old school teacher.

“So am I”, I said, “and I bet I am a lot tougher than her.” 

Negan looked at me more closely. I knew he’d see the thin scar on the side of my neck, where a bullet had grazed me. The scar on my temple, a grenade shrapnel. The other scars were hidden by my clothes, but there were more. 

“If you ask me nicely, you can keep your gun”, Negan said. 

“How nicely?”, I could play. Negan obviously had some pull around here. I didn’t want to make the situation worse for the others. They couldn’t just pick up and leave. Well, they could but most of them wouldn’t survive. 

Negan smirked. He looked at me like the wolf that had just found its prey. The wolf had just found another wolf. 

“How about a kiss?” 

“Sure.” 

His eyebrows twitched, as if they couldn’t decide whether they wanted to move up or down. Nothing unnerved a man more than a woman that was unimpressed by him. 

He shook off his surprise fast and I took my hand from his chest. He moved closer. The distance between us gone in the blink of an eye. He pressed me against the railing. He was stronger than I had thought. I felt the familiar flutter in my chest. I had found an opponent and now I needed to know how strong he was. Could he kill me? Could I kill him? And did I want to try?

Negan leaned forward, tantalizingly slow and waited a hot second before our lips connected. There was a question in his eyes. I closed the gap. My hands found his hair all on their own. He growled at my lips, his body on mine. His hands moved under my shirt, stopping when they found the first rough bullet scar. 

My tongue met his, the kiss deepened passionately and I forgot I was trying to be unimpressed. I forgot the world had gone to shit. I forgot he wasn’t a friend. 

Panting, both of us broke the kiss. I felt him now, pressed against the jeans. His eyes had a lost look to them but burning with passion. I was pretty sure I looked the same. 

“Damn”, he ran a hand through his hair to bring some semblance of order into it and failing. “Now, you may keep every fucking weapon you want, love and ask for some.” 

I grinned and licked tantalizingly over my lower lip. Negan followed the motion with his eyes. “You seem a little out of breath.” 

His eyes narrowed, but before he could make another move there was a shift behind us. 

His eyes went cold and I turned around as far as I could with him still pressing me to the railing, to find Spencer standing there. I rolled my eyes at the look in Spencer’s eyes. He had been hitting on me for ages. But Spencer couldn’t kill a walker if he was chained up and wrapped up like a present. 

“Looks like you have an audience”, I said. 

Negan didn’t look like he wanted to have one. “We will continue this.” 

I laughed and patted him on the chest, “don’t get too excited buddy.” With that I pushed past him to leave the porch and take care of Clover. 

Negan caught my wrist, whirled me around and pulled me back against him. I had a knife pressed against his throat the same instant. Negan paused. His Adam's apple bobbed. And yet there was still no fear in his eyes. “Okay?” 

I pulled the knife an inch away. “Okay.” 

He pressed another hot kiss on my lips. I melted against him. The knife forgotten. 

Negan smirked when we broke apart again. His breath came faster. “I’ll find you.” 

I didn’t even try not to look dazed by the kiss. “You aren’t the first to try that.” 

“No, but I’ll be the last.” 

“Arrogant much?”, I whispered, still leaning against him.

“Confident.” 

I couldn’t help but smile. I freed my wrist and dodged his other arm easily, hopping down the stairs. “Good luck, Spence, at least he is warmed up.” 

Spencer stared at me in shock as I headed to Clover. 

Negan laughed. 


End file.
